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Madame4a -> RE: References (2/12/2009 2:13:23 PM)
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post 56, you said it... dramatically important
my guess is, if it is to people you are close to and many here don't think so, you should ask them.. I have to admit, I don't know anyone that finds them that important...
when I'm in the relationship, I live the high protocol, the old guard stuff -- its the way I was raised up, so to speak and what I enjoy... but I don't necessarily think you have to tie them together.. perhaps for some.. but with all things, you don't have to take the whole bouquet, just pick out the roses, or whatever you want, and keep them...
their lives might be very similar to mine... to be very honest, I think it might be a difference between meeting people online and offline... I've met very few online who could possibly provide a reference much less, could I find one locally on them.. but if I meet someone at the local play space, at a local event, its highly likely I can find out stuff about them.. or talk to someone who knows them.. hopefully someone I trust.. its why I tend to want people who are involved locally, not just living locally to me. Of the folks I've met here, the only ones involved locally are the ones I already knew before joining CM...
I could be wrong but that's my take on it... I'm also very slow in getting to know people, I'm meticulous in somethings and logical and methodical... well, most of the time.. anyway...
quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
quote:
ORIGINAL: Madame4a
I'm not sure anyone said they were dramatically important, although perhaps someone did. For me, they are all part of the tool box.. if they are available... there are a few other opinions out there in the world I respect.. and so I'm likely to solicit them if possible ...
Again, I've obviously mis-stated something. No one on this thread has expressed that they are dramatically important, but as I said in my initial post, they are to some people I know personally.
I thought I had explained their situation, the formality and high protocol they live, and that I have always found it interesting that references were important to THEM and others that live similarly.
In thinking about all of this, I think the above statement answers my questions. Their lives are very inclusive, different than mine and most of us on here, more than likely. They all have similar ways of living M/s, similar expectations of both roles. So in that light, a reference would be of some value, on both sides of the slash.
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