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Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 6:44:47 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		First, it was in my head that there was something missing for me. Something that I could not label, couldn't really define but I have always known it was about control. I mean from the time I was a little kid knew. I put an ad into an underground newspaper in SF area in early 1982. It was pretty pathetic... and desperate, but I got tons of responses.. ::snail mail yet!:: and one of them drew me in. After some snail mail correspondance, and practically dancing every day waiting for the mail man, we started with some phone conversations and in a very short time frame I was knocking on his door and having my 1st real time encounter with a Dominant. The first couple of years, it was all enthusiasm and .. omg, this is IT.. what I've been missing. Then, reality sorta of settled in and I thought.. my god.. I'm so weird. What is WRONG with me for liking this stuff. So, struggle, guilt and that whole trip for a couple of years, trying to figure out why I did what I did and why I liked it so much. I finally settled into something akin to acceptance of self, like me, raising my self-esteem in the process and becoming comfortable, ultimately deciding that even were I capable of changing who and what I am... I would not. Contentment.

So, here's the question...

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 6:53:07 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

So, here's the question...

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?

Celeste


Certainly not!

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 6:57:28 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I'm with Amayos on this one.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 7:06:03 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		NO, I don't think I would either. Now if asked this question say... (thinking)...... nope ... not at all. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, I couldn't go back up and change nothing. Nor would I care to.

(in reply to yourMissTress)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 7:10:19 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?


No way, not ever. I like who I am way too much to want to change that. And like many others, it took me along time to come to acceptance with who and what I am...I don't think I can go through that again

/shudders at the memories

Nope, no way

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 7:38:43 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?


My presence is very domineering.......people have told me this since i was a child. I have always had dominant tendencies, i though that was what i was supposed to be when i entered into the realms of BD/SM. How wrong i was.

It took me years to come to terms of submissive. I have fought for the last few years of my nature of being a slave. I found out that when i did not fight so hard and just let me be me.........it's exactly what and who i am. With the nurturing and patience of a saint (Thorns)...my life is as it was destined to be. I am slave.......i could not change that, nor would i want to.

There is much freedom in who i am........Thank You Master for making a girl Your own.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 8:40:51 PM   
brigidsub


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Washington
Status: offline 		It took me 52 years to admit what i am to myself, even though others saw it- we danced the warped dance around what i couldn't accept, until my feet and everything else refused to move to that old, tired music.

i can't imagine ever "changing back" or wanting to go back to that other existence. It's much like when i was in college and sharing space with others- and we finally found that unrecognizable object that stunk to high heaven in the fridge....we threw it away.

No more clinging to illusions, or wishing for what never was.

That said, i feel i'll have a lot less difficulty coming to terms with what i embrace, what i accept....especially with a bit of life experience behind me.

brigidsub

(in reply to smilezz)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 8:42:16 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?

Celeste

=====================
if i could change, my most basic nature?
probably...knowing what i know now.

knowing i am overbearing ..loud,..violent..mean...cranky old man...that doesn't like being told what to do by anyone...
knowing i wish i could be more like the rest of the sheep,...and be able to surrender myself..lock stock and barrel,..and be able to trust someone..
yes..i believe so.
knowing...i cannot fulfill Her needs...like MOST other wishy washy gutless mindless male subs i meet...
yes
------
i wish..i could be ..just like the rest of the boys/
no cares
no worries.
just walk around with my hand down my pants and beg please do me mistress.

yeah
i wish i could
i wish i could stop being the caring, worrying, over protective,...responsible adult that i am...
i wish i could say no i aint doing any more housework.
i wish i could run around going from domme to domme...and have my lil ass beat each time i visit someone..just like the ones that come here to see MY Mistress.

yes
i wish i could

but ah well
i was born and taught by parents that taught me respect for people i care about.....taught me to protect those unable to protect themselves.....taught me responsibility...

yeah
i wish i could
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 9:02:58 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Ah, veronica. You are gold standard for "brutally honest". :) Though I've seen the response when it's been applied to others, we should all have the strenght for that self-insight.

Edited to add to the OP, the older I get, the more self-accepting I get, which has made it harder for the people around me, actually.

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 1/16/2006 9:06:04 PM >

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to veronicaofML)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/16/2006 9:08:00 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't change my basic nature, but I would change certain choices I have made in the past. I strive to remember some of those as I make choices in the future.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 4:52:00 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Can't speak for anyone else, but I like who I am. Weird? You bet? Wrong? I don't think so. I chose that other path. You know? The one least taken. And I have no regrets.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 6:01:57 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?

Celeste

Nope. It's half insane to be who I am and I don't think anyone should CHOOSE it if it's not who they are, but no other way around it.

There are certainly personality traits and behavior patterns about me which I would like and am working on changing however.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 6:24:23 AM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?


Like some of the others, I would like to change some of my responses to situations for the sake of my children.

Through much of my life, I have walked through hell barefoot, but other than being a better mother (unfortunately we don't get do overs), I wouldn't change a thing, not even the things that shattered me. Without the shattering, I couldn't have had the opportunity to rebuild.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 6:38:39 AM   
MysticalPhoenix


Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?

Celeste


Nope. I like who I am, and who I've become. Sure, I've made some bad choices along the way, but I've learned more from those choices than from the "right" choices that allowed me to take the path of least resistance.

Life's an adventure, and sometimes it is more adventurous than others.

Phoenix

_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 7:58:17 AM   
IceyOne


Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?


Absolutly not. It's a part of who and what I am. To change it would mean missing out on so many things that I just don't want to miss.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 8:04:52 AM   
Chris123


Posts: 22
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I would. I find it embarressing, it's not something I can talk to my friends about.
And my fetishes I hold mostly responsible for my inabilty to have a normal sexlife. Inhibiting my to the extent that I have NEVER experienced orgasm.

So yeah, I would change myself if I could. Although, I'm not too big on 'ifs'. I *can't* change myself so I guess I'll focus on what I can do and try to accept what I am.

(in reply to IceyOne)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 8:23:54 AM   
LadySiraufgaube


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline 		No I would never change myself. I have always known who and what I was and to change that now would destroy me. I am comfortable with me.

(in reply to Chris123)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 9:46:46 AM   
greeneyes1962


Posts: 117
Joined: 9/7/2005
Status: offline 		no, i wouldn't change who/what i am.

after years of unhappiness, not under-
standing myself and my desires, after
several bouts of severe depression,
finally understanding this side of me
has brought me great happiness.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 9:54:05 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Yes, I would. Though not everything.


I would change my desire for approval. I would change my dependancy on family that hurts me. I would change my mental illness. I would change the parts of me that hurt myself over dumb stuff. I would change my needyness and dependancy.

I wouldn't change my sexual predilictions. I wouldn't change my basic outlook on life.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to greeneyes1962)
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RE: Coming to terms with yourself... - 1/17/2006 10:56:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Edited to add to the OP, the older I get, the more self-accepting I get, which has made it harder for the people around me, actually.
That rings very true with me as well in regards to some relationships in my life. I lack the patience for a lot of unnecessary lies and drama.
quote:

BitaTruble
IF you could change your basic nature and or what you've become through nurture.. would ya?
Absolutely not! I only wish I had arrived at where I am sooner, instead of wasting years trying to fight/conquer my nature, and living contrary to it. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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