softness
Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006 From: Leeds, UK Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LunaVenus I have 2 questions 1) What are some of the most VILE and REPUGNANT things done in bdsm that you could never see yourself doing? 2) I have a real difficulty understanding the psychology of a sadist or a masochist. Please try to explain your view of what is at the root of such desires to torture or be tortured and view it as love. To answer my own question.... number one at least, I find most acts in BDSM utterly vile and repugnant. If not they are totally nonsensical at best. Eating shit, drinking urination, inserting pins and needles through body parts just to see what happens, desiring welts on the body from whipping or desiring to give them for that matter, torture in any aspect, cries of agony. As a natural dominant who is not a sadist, these are things I personally view as undesireable. I can NOT answer question number 2. I can not get my mind around why anyone would equate torture with love. It is certainly not necessary for dominance even. I would love to hear from others. I may check back eventually. Ok ... wow. Firstly and most importantly everybody's view on a given form of play will be totally subjective. What is vile and repugnant to you will be wildly hot for the person next to you. Embracing that "different strokes for different folks; but respect for everyone that consents" is something I always try to do. I will admit your OP rubs me the wrong way, strongly, but I will answer the questions. 1) What could I never see myself doing? basically the only play I wouldn't ever under any circumstances engage in ... is non-consensual. That covers children (they cannot legally consent) it covers animals .. it covers dead people. There is nothing else in the range of play I am aware of that I would 100% never ever do under any circumstance. Some of it is pretty unlikely, but then I'm a twisted fuck so it'll probably happen at some stage. Before answering, I must say this. You make a couple of totally erroneous assumptions about the "psychology" of sadists and masochists and secondly that all play between them is torturous. As I write this I am currently engaged in sadomasochistic play. I am in no pain, I am fully clothed and the sadist in question is sitting at the other end of the table. We aren't touching each other and in fact for the last 48 hours nothing even remotely sexual has past between us. my masochistic headspace is most definately active however. Not all sadomasochistic play is torture. I cannot speak for sadists (i'm not one) but as a masochist just because I do like the heavy edgy stuff doesn't mean that is all I like. Masochists like, in some way, to suffer ... but there is a whole world, a whole scale of suffering that comes before re-enacting scenes from Hostel on a friday night. 2) I have a need (pyschological, physical, emotional) to suffer. It is not my only need, I also need to be loved and cherished. I can be perfectly sexually satisfied with a vanilla fuck. But something else gets satisfied when I am left broken, sobbing, frightened and shaking on the floor. A good match for me is someone who has a flip side of that need, who needs to break and frighten ... because when two people share that need have that energy flowing between them then something really amazing connects them. Positive and healthy sadomasochistic relationships dont just break down, they build up again. This is something that most people miss, or refuse to acknowledge. I might get broken into a thousand tiny pieces, but I will also get built up again. Sadists get to do that breaking, and that building. It is incredibly loving and intimate and powerful in a way you can't really understand until you experience it. It might look nasty and vile and repugnant to you, but that couple you see where one is ripping the other to pieces, torturing them. That couple are making love to each other, just in a way you cannot understand. It really is making love, but from the outside looking in I can understand it would look like anything but. Trust me ... between a sadist and a masochist who love each other .. "torture" as you think of it *is* love.
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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family veritas, respectus honorque in corio
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