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Amaros -> RE: "Vanilla" can hurt Vanilla Friends... (2/13/2009 12:51:25 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: girlygurl
I'm just curious, what is offensive about the word "vanilla" even the implication of calling someone vanilla doesn't sound bad to me imo. I view it as distinguishing one person from another, that's all.
There are times when it's prudent to make that determination... Just ask Greedy and the Pirate... they did it for their wedding.
The connotations are "bland", "generic", "mediocre", and that could be hurtful to those who feel they have distinguished themselves in ways outside the sexual arena. i.e., the implication of "Vanilla" is that you are lacking individuality, which may not really be the case, it is a generalization and generalizations often break down on the individual level - though I have known people who wear their mediocrity on the sleeves, most people resent the implication even if it happens to be true - most of us wish to be recognized and valued for ourselves.
It is, IMO, pretty much a throwaway term used within the community specifically to distinguish degrees of sexual adventurousness, and to some, perhaps an even larger extent, the attitudes, behaviors, mode of dress or expression etc., i.e., participation in the kink/alt subculture - because the term is used by subcultures outside the BDSM/kink community, Goth subculture for example has some even more insulting euphemisms and may take these distinctions more seriously than the typical kinkster in more or less reciprocal proportion to how oppressed they feel by whatever represents itself as the dominant culture.
Heh, reminds me of the whole "Disco sucks" thing sometimes, i.e., Rock vs Disco - they both emerged from essentially the same scene to begin with - just the usual friction at the margins of any cultural shift as it starts to fractally reiterate.
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