When you have met your Perfect match, but?

When you have met your Perfect match, but? (Full Version)

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knees2you -> When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/16/2006 11:23:43 PM)
Hello,[:)] When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running? But She is everything he was looking for. Except being Submissive. Without saying Goodbye to her, What can he seriously do to make a change? Sincerely, Ant[;)]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/16/2006 11:35:03 PM)
quote: When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? My questions is: If she is your perfect match, why do you care what name she calls herself? M

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 6:06:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you Hello,[:)] When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? Well, if they're both wanting to be monogamus then it seems he's in a bit of a pickle, Dick. What to do would depend on why they're both in BDSM to begin with. If they just wanted kinky sex then they might be alright. If either one is looking for "the one" to sit at the feet at then they might have a real problem. Either way, they should sit down and hash this out between them. Maybe they could find a Dominant to serve together in a non-sexual way. If it's just kinky sex then they can take turns tying eachother up and spanking some ass. The big thing they need to talk to eachother.

knees2you -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 7:26:20 AM)
They both are Submissive yes. The male is thinking of becoming Dom. He knows it does not happen over night. That it takes time. The Idea now has started to succum into his mind. Where does he start? Sincerely, Ant[;)]

Mercnbeth -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 7:38:47 AM)
quote: Where does he start? If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate. EMPEROR MERC

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 7:51:46 AM)
I think they need to assess the situation in its entirety. If "being a good match" INCLUDES compatible lifestyle orientations and being monogamous, then they really aren't a good match. It's tough. I could meet someone who is a perfect match...but they are monogamous. Then they really aren't my perfect match and we wouldn't be happy together.

Wildfleurs -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 8:39:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you Hello,[:)] When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running? But She is everything he was looking for. Except being Submissive. Without saying Goodbye to her, What can he seriously do to make a change? Sincerely, Ant[;)] In my mind, if both are submissives then that is not a perfect match (or even a good one). C~

Rascalyrabbit -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 11:27:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: Where does he start? If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate. EMPEROR MERC LMAO

BitaTruble -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 1:02:21 PM)
quote: If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. Do you take food stamps? Celeste

sweetpettjenny -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 4:00:56 PM)
just talk things out maybe you can serve a Dominant together or separate or form a monagamous relationship where one of you is dominant. There is no right or wrong answer ...you choose

sub4hire -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 4:05:55 PM)
quote: When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? I mean the first thing he thought of doing was running? But She is everything he was looking for. Except being Submissive. How can she be your perfect match if she clearly has a flaw?

newflowers -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 5:20:22 PM)
quote: If you are interested in obtaining your "Dom" title, bring $100,000.00 in small bills to Redondo Beach and put them in the garbage container on the corner of Avenue I and the Esplanade. In it will be your Grand Master Ritual Handbook and "Guide to Good Dom-ing". Go next to the end of the Redondo Pier wearing a red rose in your lapel and I'll have my page and courrier, arriving on white horseback, bring you your Dom Certificate. EMPEROR MERC Oh mighty merc, emperor and ruler of all dom-ness! The avenes used to be my high school hang-out of choice - that and pier avenue WAAAAAAYYYYY back in the day. had i but known rats beach is the place to find the perfect dom... ****************************************************** You need to reconsider your definition of perfect - perfect may be subjective, but it is also rather back and white - either it is or it is not. Almost, except for - these are not perfect. I fully comprehend that everyone has their denotative and connotative definition of what a domiant is and is not; however... i am in the to be or not to be camp. how do you propose to turn this submissive into a dominant - what training is that, how does that work - exactly? No slur intended, but i don't think even the mighty merc can "fix" that. perhaps if you spend a bit of time to be sure of WHAT you want, the compatibility part will be much easier. i do not understand the point of entering into a relationship with one whom you must change so drastically to make it work. relax, take a deep breath, THINK about it. newflowers

knees2you -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 5:26:20 PM)
Yes she is Submissive and so Is he. It is Perfect up untill the Bdsm part. I was hoping there was a cure for this, apparently not? Not being with Her now would not be an option. We click on all fields except Bdsm. He doesn't want to become 100% vanilla. Sincerely, Ant.[;)]

doubleLeo -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 5:31:26 PM)
We all make "compromises" for the ones we love. Its just to what extent, and at what cost? I mean, if you know what you are, and what you want, then you need to be true to your self.. Maybe you all can switch??? would this fufill you? If you meet her halfway, perhaps she is willing to meet also? If this is a situation where there has to be a finality, or a conclusion before you both can continue to grow together, then maybe this isnt the sit for you. I know for me, in my relationship that it is one of becoming. Mercnbeth: LOL LOL LOL.... I WISH it was bought!!! Is it in the barbie section??? dL

knees2you -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 7:52:53 PM)
quote: We all make "compromises" for the ones we love. Its just to what extent, and at what cost? I mean, if you know what you are, and what you want, then you need to be true to your self.. Maybe you all can switch??? would this fufill you? If you meet her halfway, perhaps she is willing to meet also? If this is a situation where there has to be a finality, or a conclusion before you both can continue to grow together, then maybe this isnt the sit for you. I know for me, in my relationship that it is one of becoming. Mercnbeth: LOL LOL LOL.... I WISH it was bought!!! Is it in the barbie section??? dL [:)] Yes I would like to learn being Dominate or a Switch~[:D] Sincerely, Ant[;)]

classykindasassy -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 8:36:12 PM)
What about finding a Dom/me to top y'all together or some crazy thing like that? I am sure that there is some Dom/me that would relish the idea of topping a sub/sub couple.

sub4hire -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/17/2006 8:41:21 PM)
quote: It is Perfect up untill the Bdsm part. I was hoping there was a cure for this, apparently not? I'd ask myself what the lifestyle is to me? Is it play? Power exchange? What makes the both of you tick? Are you the same? If so, could each of you handle going outside of the relationship for play? If you truly want something to work you will work it out. Both parties have to want it to work though.

knees2you -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/18/2006 11:12:48 PM)
She doesn't wantt anybody else to touch Him. So other play by other people would be out of the question. They shall see what other avenues are available? Sincerely, Ant.[;)]

sub4hire -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/20/2006 5:13:09 AM)
quote: She doesn't wantt anybody else to touch Him. So other play by other people would be out of the question. They shall see what other avenues are available? [/quote Does she love you enough to switch from time to time? I know you've stated she doesn't have a dominant bone in her body. Though we all do. I am quite dominant outside of my relationship. If you didn't you'd be nothing more than a doormat. I know from personal experience I have been given the opportunity one day a month to dominate Doug if I saw fit. Sort of revenge...yet I have never taken him up on the idea. My first dom gave me the same offer. Usually that day ended up in pampering him..massage..etc. Yet many switch couples are healthy and happy. If she would be willing to try.

Mercnbeth -> RE: When you have met your Perfect match, but? (1/20/2006 7:44:32 AM)
quote: When You have met your Perfect match, but She turns out to be a Submissive just like You. What is a Submissive to do? Ant, You don't change. Unless you eventually want to resent her or you want a casual relationship. The conflict with your core nature will eventually doom the relationship to failure. You can't love someone enough to change who you are. You can't physically train yourself to change your nature. A long time ago, left handedness was thought to be a curable infirmary. Left handed children were forced to write and do things right handed "for their own good". It was the results of this, training against nature, that were not good. The brain couldn't be re-wired, often it caused the child to stutter. "Love" makes you do strange things. It's the "wild-card" of this question. Can you love someone enough to change your nature? My answer would be no. I could still love someone who needed to dominate from time to time, but I could not have a relationship with that person as I do with beth. I think it's easier to have different degrees of love. We're used to that because love is different with parents, siblings, friends, etc. Intimacy in a relationship, beyond casual sex, is less compromising over the long term. Some people can't come to grips with the fact that some people are exactly what they say they are ALL the time. Whether it's envy or resentment doesn't matter. It's akin to claiming submissiveness, but needed to "release" or "purge" periodically. It you are living true to yourself and your nature, why would you need to purge? Why would you need/want a vacation from a reality you striven to achieve for your entire life? It's only the need to rationalize that causes people to put a derogatory label on anyone not compromising. But I can understand it. No one wants to admit to themselves that they are a fraud even if their own words and actions illustrate the fact. The most frustrating part after going through an honest self assessment and determining a relationship goal is finding someone to share that goal. You'll meet a lot of friends and near fits along the way. The near fits are the most frustrating. They are worthy of the attempt, but ultimately you have to decide if your self assessment was wrong or the relationship you are considering is wrong. Of course that decision is yours.

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