Tell the truth............ wink

Tell the truth............ wink (Full Version)

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Daddysbaby87 -> Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:37:20 PM)
How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship?

PanthersMom -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:50:54 PM)
sometimes when you play with fire you get burned. sometimes you don't. life is like that. PM

oceanwynds -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:52:51 PM)
Never have brought in another female, so getting burnt in this never happened. I would assume depends on the people and security the submissive has inside themselves.

BlueEyedSubinDE -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:57:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87 How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship? Why do you want to know?

VampiresLair -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:59:11 PM)
I had a girl who brought in a boy for me to play with that ended in disaster. However, it wasnt the third who caused the problem. It was the first girl who decided that she was the one in charge when I wasnt around and was allowed to discipline him and tell me about it later. I didnt appreciate it, he left me and for good reason, and then I told her where to get off. DV

Missokyst -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 6:59:52 PM)
Wouldnt happen to me since I wouldnt go there. But I know at least 5 people personally that brought in a nice "sub sister" and found they were no longer a part of that family very soon after. Kyst

AquaticSub -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 7:40:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87 How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship? Honestly, if it's going to ruin the relationship I doubt it was going to work anyway. It's more likely the relationship was highly flawed, or one-sided with master only using the slave to get what he wanted and would have left the slave anyway when she could no longer provide him with anything he deemed useful. Not healthy to start with and she's better off without him.

feydeplume -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 7:47:33 PM)
I know a few cases where HE was shown the door, but not where the first female got the boot. But hey, I don't get out much being a slave and all.

StrongSpirit -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 7:51:27 PM)
I'm with Aquatic Sub. There is a similar issue with sex. Sometimes when two people have sex, the guy (or occasionally the girl) leaves the relationship right afterwards. The "left behind" person thinks "the sex ruined the relationship." Actually, the guy that left (or girl) only wanted sex in the first place. They left when they got what they wanted. The sex did not ruin the relationship, they never had one in the first place. It's basically the same thing, only with an extra person.

LadyLetalis -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 8:07:08 PM)
Having a 3rd is a wonderful expierence but a relationshop has to be stable before you start adding outside influences of anykind.

Badguylol -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 8:30:29 PM)
I had this girl I was seeing for a while who brought a friend/co-worker of hers to me. She was into bondage as well. We went out, clubbed it up a little and got completely shitfaced lol. I ended up taking both of them back to my place. I'm pretty sure we all had a great time that night, but I know my girl said that it became so awkward seeing her friend at work that she eventually quit. I felt a little bad about it and thought it was hilarious at the same time, but I can understand why it became awkward. She told me everytime she looked at her, all she could think about was how she looked bound and gagged. I think she also felt a little awkward with me from then on.. the fire certainly dimmed a bit, and we stopped seeing eachother a couple weeks after that.

Riesa -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 10:04:50 PM)
Even in Vanilla Relationships It Happens, my partner and I brought another woman (good friend) into our life for a couple of nights, we had a great time, but afterwards she decided she wanted my partner, My Partner didnt want her, I didnt want her in our lives after that, she was very hard to 'shake off'', needless to say is now an ex friend. Thing we didn't think about was including a friend and a local friend at that, there again we have met one other couple who we got to know, and it worked out for us, i think each and every situation is different, no matter how strong a relationship is, can still become under threat from an outsider. xxRiesa

QuixoticErrant -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 10:11:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87 How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship? I have never let a submissive I was interested in long term do such a thing. While there are people who pull off poly well - and more power to you - I have seen too many friends go that route, only to have feelings of jealousy or inadequacy creep in and destroy everything. I simply would not take the risk if I were into her.

littlewonder -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/13/2009 10:43:06 PM)
I'll admit when I was young and stupid I did this. I was living with a Dom at the time. We met a sub at one of our playparties we threw. We got to know her pretty well. I knew he liked her. We talked about adding her so that he could have a fucktoy..that's all she was supposed to be..nothing more than that. Instead it turned out they grew intimately closer until he had fallen head over heels for her and that was the end of us. I don't regret any of it though and I hope they are happy together.

BondageBarbieX -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 1:02:26 AM)
never have..never will

NuevaVida -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 8:18:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87 How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship? In my former relationship a few tried (whether I introduced them or he did) but failed. I kept my focus on my master and not on the troublemaker. Fortunately, he dealt with the issue and off she would go. I do know of others who did not find this to be the case with them. I agree with Aquatic that in such cases, the original slave/submissive is better off without the master/dominant who either couldn't or didnt want to deal with the situation. Edit: I misread the OP and thought she was asking if the other female ruined the relationship. As for the actual question, my former owner's occasionally having other girls was not the problem...it was the occasional other girl who vied for position that created some of the issues.

IrishMist -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 8:21:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysbaby87 How many sub/slave females here brought another female in the mix for her master and that situation ended up ruining your relationship? My late husband often fucked other girls. Sometimes with me in the room, sometimes not. As for ruining the relationship...since I had no say in whether or not he could do what he wanted...if he fucked another...that was his business...if I made a fuss over it....oh well, such is life

feydeplume -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 8:45:13 AM)
My M and i have developed a sort of coping tool/game. We call it "dodge the mistress" with mistress being the female that wants to suddenly be his one and only "real" passion. Since my M is a hottie, he gets a lot of attention. I think it is cool and love to watch him dodge the desperate ones that start to promise anything and how he gently brings them back down to reality and generally helps their self esteem in the process. But there are a few that just don't get that he isn't suddenly going to "release" me and they are suddenly going to be his one and only.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 3:48:20 PM)
We're poly, and we've had occasion where we brought someone home for a mate -- sometimes, those 'fix-ups' worked out great. Sometimes they didn't go so well -- but it seems like it's pretty much the same ratio as it does when we bring in folks for ourselves, so nobody gets all that tweaked about it. Bringing a new someone home has never shattered our family, but then again, if someone wanted to spend some alone time with the person one of us brought home for hir -- a day, week, year, or five... -- that wouldn't necessarily mean xhe wasn't still considered family and welcome to come home (and bring hir lover) should xhe decide to... and if xhe decided to cut ties, we'd do our best to make sure it happened without rancor or bitterness.

persephonee -> RE: Tell the truth............ wink (2/14/2009 4:02:35 PM)
i have been the "third" in a couple relationships...on a casual basis...and generally only play with couples that show no real signs of vulnerability. i have seen some relatiohships implode quite quickly upon the introduction of a third person, but i have also seen very successful results as well. Depends on the couple, the motivation, and the sincerity of all concerned.

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