RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant

RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (Full Version)

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Kalista07 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/14/2009 9:08:56 PM)
Mummy, Cognitively or intellectually i understand Your question. But, pragmatically, i don't know what You are really looking for... Is there really any justification for lying? The reality is many people lie? Why do they do it? A variety of reasons really: cop out, easy way to get out of a situation they got themselves in too deep into, because they are sick, because they are psycho, because they are bastards, evil...take Your pick. i'm sorry that You have been lied to and hurt. It's not fair and it's not right. Not everyone is like this. i hope things get better for You soon, Kali

SteelofUtah -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/14/2009 9:13:03 PM)
Well andi has gone to work, but I was here when she replied to your thread. I know what she asked me is why do some Dom/mes give brush offs. The answer she gave was when I reminded her of the first e-mail we received that addressed her from another male sub. It was Explicit and creeped her out it was one of the reasons she wasn't interested in joining this site. I know it isn't correct but I know many D-Types that put Likes on thier profile to attact a certain type of submissive but are not really into the kink they list. I also know many people period who like the LOOK of a kink and are into WATCHING a kink but aren't interested in partisipating in the kink. I would ask was it listed in thier Likes only or was it listed within thier Profile and Journal as something that they are interested in as well? I ask because I have some things listed in my Kinks that I am into but are NOT the focus of my Play. I am not trying to forgive the Domme in question if they did lie but I am not necessisarily sure that they did lie as I can be into viewing rubber fetich wear and be alergic to latex at the same time. I am not turned by Rubber wear but if I was I still wouldn't be able to partisipate in it. Steel

mummyman321 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/14/2009 9:37:04 PM)
SteelofUtah, You make some good points. Her profile does not have any blogs and her Intro does not list the rubber fetish specifically. It is listed under her interests portion of the profile and under the "Loves" portion. If you are "deathly allergic" to something I cannot see the person listing in the LIVES FOR of the LOVE section of the profile. But that might just be me As I explained in my first response the email I send was not an explicit. And I am not upset she turned me down. I am thankful I got a reply. I just do not understand the "Soungs interesting but I am deathly allergic" turn down versus "sorry its not my thing".

BigSi2009 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 4:06:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FullCircle Making excuses is not the best approach, you may see them in a couple of years wearing it in a profile picture. They probably just were allergic, either that or idiots because good lying takes skill and planning IMO. True, hence why I never call my boss on a Monday morning to say hey sorry I've developed an allergy to the outside.

rubberpet -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 4:23:33 AM)
I'd be in deep trouble if I ever developed an allergy to latex! [&o] I can see Mistress giving me Benadryl enemas to make sure I could continue to satisfy her extreme rubber laden desires...lol! "No" is not a word to her and imminent death is not an excuse when it comes to her rubber fetish! (Just kidding...she can be cruel, but she's not [that] insane.) LMAO [:D] Seriously though, I've been turned down and rejected many times because of my intense rubber fetish, but I've never had the dubious honor of having the allergy excuse used on me. Most times, my letters were read and never replied to, but on the rare occasion I got a polite "not interested" reply. Keep your head up, mummyman. There aren't that many lifestyle dommes out here that really dig the rubber fetish, but they are out there. Stay positive and it will happen.

lilgirl2008 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 5:54:15 AM)
I find it very hard to believe that someone would go to the trouble of making up such a lie to someone they don't know. A simple I am not interested in latex fetish would work just fine. I wouldn't say that I am allergic persay, but I definately have a sensitivity to it. As my skin is very sensitive to many things, so it would be something I would avoid. But I would simply tell someone I was not interested. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, especially people I don't know who are simply inquiring about my interests.

nafakcha -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 8:01:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah I am not trying to forgive the Domme in question if they did lie but I am not necessisarily sure that they did lie as I can be into viewing rubber fetich wear and be alergic to latex at the same time. I am not turned by Rubber wear but if I was I still wouldn't be able to partisipate in it. Steel This is an excellent point. I find Rubber wear very fascinating - but i can't participate in it or be near a lot of it. For the most part I am left to looking at photographs. I can definitely relate to how someone who is allergic to latex could perhaps have intense fantasies tied to Rubber wear. Regardless it does not excuse simply stating that they can't actually participate in Rubber wear when asked. If this was the case having a journal posting or something in the profile stating that they couldn't actually participate in rubber wear might help avoid confusion. To the OP - ultimately there is no good reason for someone to not just state "sorry not interested" or some other simple phrase. Best of luck in your search. Keiko

mummyman321 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 1:42:18 PM)
Rubberpet, Thank you for your post. Being a rubberist you know how it is and what I am talking about. While it can be depressing I look at it as more funny. My attititude on life is pretty good and I focus on the good things. But sometimes I am compelled to ask why.

mummyman321 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 1:46:38 PM)
Thanks to all that have posted a response. I did write back the Domme in question. I told her "thank you for the reply even though she was not interested". I also politely asked why she listed Rubber Fetish on her profile if she was allegic to latex. Five days have now passed by with no response. Everyone can read into it what they want. I take it that she was lying but I have no idea why.

lilgirl2008 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 2:53:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 Thanks to all that have posted a response. I did write back the Domme in question. I told her "thank you for the reply even though she was not interested". I also politely asked why she listed Rubber Fetish on her profile if she was allegic to latex. Five days have now passed by with no response. Everyone can read into it what they want. I take it that she was lying but I have no idea why. You wrote to this person first. She did not seek you out. She gave you a response, which she didn't really have to do. She is under no further obligation to explain to you why she has rubber as a "love" and yet has a latex allergy. Maybe she just enjoys to look at it. To assume someone is lying because they don't respond is crazy. She doesn't owe you an explanation at all.

rubberpet -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 3:48:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 Rubberpet, Thank you for your post. Being a rubberist you know how it is and what I am talking about. While it can be depressing I look at it as more funny. My attititude on life is pretty good and I focus on the good things. But sometimes I am compelled to ask why. I agree, it can be quite amusing at times. I have noticed that the reaction when I wear rubber is usually on one side of the spectrum or the other. There's really no gray are in terms of a person's reaction. It's either complete fascination because it's tight and shiny, or it's complete repulsion because it's "different" than being just naked and in cuffs. On top of that, I know quite a few dommes with the logic that a fetishist can't be a good submissive because it's the fetish that we supposedly care about and not their needs. So they seem to make up an excuse rather than just being honest that the rubber fetish doesn't do anything for them. I can certainly understand the logic of having a latex fetish even though that person may have an allergy to it. To them, it has to be a visual thing since they can't touch it.

mummyman321 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 4:09:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008 You wrote to this person first. She did not seek you out. She gave you a response, which she didn't really have to do. She is under no further obligation to explain to you why she has rubber as a "love" and yet has a latex allergy. Maybe she just enjoys to look at it. To assume someone is lying because they don't respond is crazy. She doesn't owe you an explanation at all. Actually, I do feel I am owed a response. Her profile did say she was actively seeking a sub. She listed the qualities she was seeking in a sub and said also to see her interests and for those who are interested to contact her via email.

lilgirl2008 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 5:44:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 quote: ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008 You wrote to this person first. She did not seek you out. She gave you a response, which she didn't really have to do. She is under no further obligation to explain to you why she has rubber as a "love" and yet has a latex allergy. Maybe she just enjoys to look at it. To assume someone is lying because they don't respond is crazy. She doesn't owe you an explanation at all. Actually, I do feel I am owed a response. Her profile did say she was actively seeking a sub. She listed the qualities she was seeking in a sub and said also to see her interests and for those who are interested to contact her via email. Just because someone is actively seeking a submissive or a dominant does not mean they owe you anything. You wrote...she replied. You didn't like her reply. She at least had the decency to reply. Do you realize how many emails a female dominant on here probably recieves? I am so confused by this idea that because you write to someone on a site like collarme that they are some how obligated to respond to you. Now back to the original question, what does it really matter if she was telling the truth or not. She clearly wasn't interested for whatever reason. It is time to put our big boy pants on, and move along.

mummyman321 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 6:51:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilgirl2008 Just because someone is actively seeking a submissive or a dominant does not mean they owe you anything. You wrote...she replied. You didn't like her reply. She at least had the decency to reply. Do you realize how many emails a female dominant on here probably recieves? I am so confused by this idea that because you write to someone on a site like collarme that they are some how obligated to respond to you. Now back to the original question, what does it really matter if she was telling the truth or not. She clearly wasn't interested for whatever reason. It is time to put our big boy pants on, and move along. From your writing I cannot help but ask if you even read the original post. My main question was if you are not interested do you make up a lie? Or do you simply say no thanks? I never said I was upset and I actually told her thank you for the response. But this begs the question of why put something in your profile, tell people to look at your profile, invite a response by saying email if you fit the criteria, then respond saying you are deathly allergic to one of your fetish interests in your profile. As to the point about being obligated to reply: If someone puts in their profile that they are actively searching for a person (Dom, sub etc) and if you meet the criteria o go ahead and email that person. Then yes I believe you, me, Dom(me), sub, slave, switch and anyone else on this site is entitled to an honest response. Its just the right thing to do.

Lynnxz -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 7:00:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 If someone puts in their profile that they are actively searching for a person (Dom, sub etc) and if you meet the criteria o go ahead and email that person. Then yes I believe you, me, Dom(me), sub, slave, switch and anyone else on this site is entitled to an honest response. Its just the right thing to do. Nope. You aren't owed anything, sorry.

BLGirl -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/15/2009 10:06:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 Okay now. I could take this in 2 different directions. 1) How do you politely tell an emailer "No you are not interested or 2) Make it a rant. Here is the situtation: I searched a profile with someone and one of their interests on the LOVES portion is Rubber Fetish. I wrote approximately a one full page email to that person describing my interests and what I am seeking and citing their interest listed in their profile and that I am a latex fetishest. The person was nice enough to send a response saying "That sound incredibly interesting but unfortunately I am deathly allergic to latex" Since this is not the first time I have gotten this response I was curious as to how many people are allergic to latex. According to the CDC upto 6% of the population can be allergic to latex. I would estimate I have gotten the "I'm allergic to latex" response over 50% of the time. Which really means I am increadibly lucky and should play the lottery or I am being politely blown off. So my question is how you politely say no? Do you lie about something or do you just be honest and say its not my thing. I for one am really allergic to latex and it sucks, seriously! I would love to play with the rubber toys and clothes, but don't dare (it really is a shame too!). As to the possible lie or excuse to blow you off, seems ridiculous to me. Especially in this lifestyle that one wouldn't have the stones to simply say, "not interested" is um, odd. Daddy wouldn't hesitate as the dominant to say "nope" and neither would I as the sub. So, makes no sense to me. A lie is a lie, no matter the color or substance, right? Confusedly, BLGirl

pdv99 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/16/2009 1:48:44 AM)
Hi A couple of points occur to me :- Some people put stuff in their profile just because they think it sounds good or will attract interest - obviously a dumb, unhelpful thing to do, but it's wise to remember that profile "Interest" listings are probably thrown together on an instant's whim, not after hours of careful deliberation. Secondly, the number of peope BELIEVING they have ANY specific allergy or intolerance will always be way higher than the number who have a real clinically measurable reaction. So if CDC say 6% have sensitivity to latex, it wouldn't surprise me at all if 60% of the population THINK they are allergic to it.

rubberpet -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/16/2009 2:12:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lynnxz quote: ORIGINAL: mummyman321 If someone puts in their profile that they are actively searching for a person (Dom, sub etc) and if you meet the criteria o go ahead and email that person. Then yes I believe you, me, Dom(me), sub, slave, switch and anyone else on this site is entitled to an honest response. Its just the right thing to do. Nope. You aren't owed anything, sorry. While I agree with you that he is technically owed nothing in regards to an explanation why, I do believe he, as well as anyone else, is entitled to an honest reply. Lynnxz, I think if you wrote to someone that really interested you and they completely blew you off with what you thought was a lame excuse, I think you'd be annoyed and would certainly appreciate an honest explanation why. I think anyone that gets blown off feels the same way. I know I would. It's just common courtesy. Unfortunately, not everyone on here seems to have manners. I think it's just human nature to question why you are turned down or rejected. The guy has a curiosity. I don't think it's unreasonable.

lilgirl2008 -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/16/2009 10:45:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rubberpet While I agree with you that he is technically owed nothing in regards to an explanation why, I do believe he, as well as anyone else, is entitled to an honest reply. Lynnxz, I think if you wrote to someone that really interested you and they completely blew you off with what you thought was a lame excuse, I think you'd be annoyed and would certainly appreciate an honest explanation why. I think anyone that gets blown off feels the same way. I know I would. It's just common courtesy. Unfortunately, not everyone on here seems to have manners. I think it's just human nature to question why you are turned down or rejected. The guy has a curiosity. I don't think it's unreasonable. I don't want to hijack this thread but I completely disagree with you. If someone writes to me on this site, I feel no obligation to reply. I didn't ask them to write to me. So if I answered ever single lame email I recieved that said "hi", I would be spending hours and hours answering emails. I also don't feel I owe anyone an explanation if I am not interested in them. For one, I don't want to be rude or hurt their feelings. I simply say "I am sorry I am not interested". Unless they really want to hear the truth, that they are too old or too fat or not domly enough. If someone says to me they are not interested, I leave it at that, because I don't really want to know the reasons. It is not common courtesy for me to reply to any honry net geek who feels the need to contact me. BTW it clearly states on my profile that I am not seeking anything, and I probably get 20 emails a day, sometimes it doesn't matter what you write in a profile does it?

Andalusite -> RE: Latex Allergy - Question and Rant (2/16/2009 11:07:11 AM)
It could easily be that she did love doing rubber bondage, but developed an allergy to it (or likes the visuals, but can't be around it in person). I disagree that I owe anyone a response just because I am actively seeking a partner - I usually DO reply, but if I feel they are too pushy or rude, I won't. Perhaps she read your posts, and doesn't want to waste her time on someone who has publicly accused her of being a liar? In that situation, I'd consider her perfectly justified in blocking you.

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