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RE: Help define me... - 2/14/2009 11:10:00 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 A good friend of mine once said to me,

"You're definitely a Top, but I don't know if you're a Dom. You're more of an erotic frontiersman."

Definitions. Heh.
Meet people you like and do fucked up kinky shit with them.
I'm smiling as I type this. Nuff said.

LUV this!!! TYVM ["switch" by default]

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Post #: 21

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 12:04:15 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

quote:

Where should one go to meet people with this interest in common?

Ontario has lots of BDSM groups and a lot of times people start out getting to know others at casual affairs called munches

this site explains what a munch is ...has info for newbies ..and under the calendar has a listing for munches and play parties, and workshops that are happening in Ontario

http://www.ehbc.ca/home.html

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Post #: 22

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 3:04:00 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ajime

So in my profile, I'm asked whether I'm a sub, a dom or a switch. The truth is, I'm not sure. I know I'm curious about exploring. I know I prefer to be in control if there's any kind of power play. I'm not a masochist, and don't really enjoy pain (I don't think).

However, I do like strong women. I don't think I would feel comfortable having a long term partner who considered me her master. I tend to be equal and fair in relationships, and like a partner rather than a tag-along.

What do you think ... dom? switch? confused?

J.

Why do you think bsdm is for you? Yes it's a serious question. To be blunt this post make you sound like white bread. Keep looking around you will find your place wheather here or whereever.

BadOne

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Post #: 23

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 6:01:30 AM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline

yanno there are other "labels" as well, like top and bottom, kinkster, service dom, do-sub, pet, toy, boi, and the list just goes on and on.

The big thing to remember, i think, is that you can be more than one. Heck you can be more than one to one person or with many people. You can be more than one in a single night with just yourself. Sexuality and intimate relations aren't (let's hope!) static. They are fluid, evolving things that allow all involved to try, test, taste, sample, explore, and enjoy themselves and others.

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Post #: 24

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 6:08:56 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ajime

So in my profile, I'm asked whether I'm a sub, a dom or a switch. The truth is, I'm not sure. I know I'm curious about exploring. I know I prefer to be in control if there's any kind of power play. I'm not a masochist, and don't really enjoy pain (I don't think).

However, I do like strong women. I don't think I would feel comfortable having a long term partner who considered me her master. I tend to be equal and fair in relationships, and like a partner rather than a tag-along.

What do you think ... dom? switch? confused?

J.

Like others say on here, the list of labels is endless, I don't like the lables myself.
I'd just advice you to start out as a switch then you can taste the best of both worlds instead of starting out on either side and then people start cursing you out telling you that you aren't a true dom/sub whateva. Maybe it turns out that you like both so then you'll just stick with da switch or w/e

(in reply to Ajime)

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Post #: 25

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 6:18:51 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

A.A. Milne once said, "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." Enjoy the ride, Ajime, just don't spend too much time reading the manual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
A good friend of mine once said to me, "You're definitely a Top, but I don't know if you're a Dom. You're more of an erotic frontiersman."

Definitions. Heh. Meet people you like and do fucked up kinky shit with them. I'm smiling as I type this. Nuff said.

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Post #: 26

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 9:07:46 PM

UPSG

Posts: 331
Joined: 1/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ajime

So in my profile, I'm asked whether I'm a sub, a dom or a switch. The truth is, I'm not sure. I know I'm curious about exploring. I know I prefer to be in control if there's any kind of power play. I'm not a masochist, and don't really enjoy pain (I don't think).

However, I do like strong women. I don't think I would feel comfortable having a long term partner who considered me her master. I tend to be equal and fair in relationships, and like a partner rather than a tag-along.

What do you think ... dom? switch? confused?

J.

They say don't judge a book by its cover, but you look a dom and not a sub to me. That's you in the avatar I'm assuming. But hell looks can be deceiving they say. Either way, given that you asked the question, agirl's short response might be the most precise.

I changed my profile from slave to dominant. I think being on here the short time I have helped me come to the belief that I could never become a "slave." In fact that specific fetish has not vanished within me but has significantly dwindled just in that short amount of time. I'm not exactly sure dominant fits me because I think I'm a little to laid back for all that, but as you've discovered, the options are a little limited and may not encompass every individuals fetish potentials or complex personalities. I guess you pick what you think most approximates you, Ajime. But if you asked me I would say explore the dom thing in you at least once. (eh... listen to agirl more than me on this because I think she probably has better and more reliable insight) .

Peace.

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Post #: 27

RE: Help define me... - 2/15/2009 9:54:15 PM

QuixoticErrant

Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ajime

So in my profile, I'm asked whether I'm a sub, a dom or a switch. The truth is, I'm not sure. I know I'm curious about exploring. I know I prefer to be in control if there's any kind of power play. I'm not a masochist, and don't really enjoy pain (I don't think).

However, I do like strong women. I don't think I would feel comfortable having a long term partner who considered me her master. I tend to be equal and fair in relationships, and like a partner rather than a tag-along.

What do you think ... dom? switch? confused?

J.

Respectfully, and this may sound like the biggest cop out in the world, but, it is the only real answer. You, yourself must figure this out for yourself. How about you start experimenting a little? Start slowly and see what you learn?

(in reply to Ajime)

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Post #: 28

RE: Help define me... - 2/16/2009 12:29:51 AM

Ajime

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Once again, thank you all for your advice.

The original purpose of this post was to try to find an accurate description of me based on "your" established terms. It seems to me that the consensus is that I will need to experiment to really understand for myself. I agree.

To SailingBum. I'm not really sure whether you mean 'white bread' in a constructive or nasty way. I'll give the benefit of the doubt and say constructive. It's true that I'm inexperienced, we all start off that way...in everything. I know what interests me, and some of those things are commonly considered kinky. So this seems like the proper place.

I find it surprising how thoughtful and supportive most of the posts are in the forums (not just this one). I guess it just reinforces that you don't have to be cruel to be kinked.

Thanks again,
J.

(in reply to QuixoticErrant)

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Post #: 29

RE: Help define me... - 2/16/2009 8:49:46 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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You are a meat Popsicle.

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Post #: 30

RE: Help define me... - 2/16/2009 9:06:01 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
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I couldn't tell either then I just asked Master what he thought... a very politically correct answer... a submissive with intense devotion lol

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Post #: 31

RE: Help define me... - 2/16/2009 10:42:32 PM

Ajime

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/1/2008
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