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What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/14/2009 10:12:55 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		Imagine, one day, you discover that all your self-control, all your willpower, all your self-respect, all your ability to be self-assured and charismatic and dominant and what-have-you, is slipping away.

For whatever reason - severe neurochemical imbalance, organic brain dysfunction, maybe just the ravages of age - you are simply incapable of maintaining your composure anymore. Nothing works the way you want it to. People react to you strangely. You react to others strangely - even when you decide adamantly not to.

Your subs are smart enough to not go down with a sinking ship, and get the hell out before you take them down with them. Your friends sensibly start losing respect for you as you slowly lose it. You lose the ability to maintain relationships even with your co-workers, and go from a six figure salary to consecutive years of unemployment, punctuated with periodic bouts of homelessness. You gradually try to get a medical handle on what's going on, but you seem to lack even the competence to do that, and 'The System' has better things to do than to coddle another basket case. Therapy is for people with either real problems, real money, or real welfare credentials, and you have none of these.

You can see that you're in no shape to be part of the scene anymore, and anyway no-one in their right mind would want you to be, but all the desires are still there. Luckily, no one will touch you with a ten-foot pole, which is just what someone of your newfound caliber deserves.

What do you do?
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/14/2009 10:28:56 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Imagine, one day, you discover that all your self-control, all your willpower, all your self-respect, all your ability to be self-assured and charismatic and dominant and what-have-you, is slipping away.

For whatever reason - severe neurochemical imbalance, organic brain dysfunction, maybe just the ravages of age - you are simply incapable of maintaining your composure anymore. Nothing works the way you want it to. People react to you strangely. You react to others strangely - even when you decide adamantly not to.

Your subs are smart enough to not go down with a sinking ship, and get the hell out before you take them down with them. Your friends sensibly start losing respect for you as you slowly lose it. You lose the ability to maintain relationships even with your co-workers, and go from a six figure salary to consecutive years of unemployment, punctuated with periodic bouts of homelessness. You gradually try to get a medical handle on what's going on, but you seem to lack even the competence to do that, and 'The System' has better things to do than to coddle another basket case. Therapy is for people with either real problems, real money, or real welfare credentials, and you have none of these.

You can see that you're in no shape to be part of the scene anymore, and anyway no-one in their right mind would want you to be, but all the desires are still there. Luckily, no one will touch you with a ten-foot pole, which is just what someone of your newfound caliber deserves.

What do you do?

Is this what's happening to you?

To Me this sounds all way too hypothetical.
When that time comes, I'll deal with it then..
I can't look in the future right?

I would talk about it with My sub,
honesty is the best way in life.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/15/2009 6:24:32 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, it IS happening to me in a much smaller way, very gradually as I age.  I'm not happy about losing potency, but I'm taking care of myself and eating well, and will hopefully age gracefully.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/15/2009 8:59:53 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm not a Master but if I started to feel this way I would seek out every medical attention I could get. I would sell every last item I owned if I had to to pay for it and if it got to the point you are describing I think I'd commit myself before I hurt myself or someone else.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/15/2009 9:15:41 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes, as our we start to deal with our demons, they at times overtake us.  If you feel half as messed up as your post, find therapy, interview therapists to find one you mesh with and who works on a sliding scale.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/15/2009 12:02:01 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Touch?

What touch?

Being submissive is not something that I bought; nor is it something that I can lose.

I'ts just there; waiting in the shadows for the right man to come along and jerk it back into the light

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/15/2009 12:54:45 PM   
PghSpanking


Posts: 42
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		There are several ways to increase and enhance sexual function, sexual interest, sexual pleasure, sexual potency, sexual desire, etc... without the use of pharmaceutical drugs.  I have helped several Dominant men work through some periods of impotency or lessening sexual drive/capability... So I know that its possible to re-gain and restore some of that...

There are alot of holistic ways to maintain mental clarity, stamina, focus, physical energy,  ease depression, and to minimize the effects of aging...  if that is the problem...

Other more serious problems would need medical intervention, once they reach a certain point... We all age... some of us age better and easier than others though... and submissives age and I often wonder what happens when a submissive reaches a  certain age or cant serve as she used to... What happens to HER then...???..

If anyone is interested in chatting with me about this, please feel free to contact me privately


(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 2:12:16 AM   
Squidley


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, I can sympathize. Anyone facing a serious illness may find themselves facing a similar situation. An illness lasting a short few months can bring ruin to a once successful individual both socially and financially. So called friends often abandon you, and even family may avoid you over the term of your illness, shunning you because they choose not to share in your pain or allow it to become a burden upon them.

Assuming you are fortunate enough to recover medically, the economic loss and the isolation caused loss of your friends, family, and associates takes far longer to recover from. All you can really do is to begin over again, building block by block, trying to cope with your new understanding of the realities of life. It’s a bitch, and life often is, but there you go with one of the harsher lessons of the world.

(in reply to PghSpanking)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 9:28:04 AM   
CrazyCats


Posts: 116
Joined: 2/15/2009
Status: offline 		Use that desire as a way to help you through this... a goal. You want yourself back. Don't do it for other, or for the trappings that success brings, do it for yourself and yourself alone. It will take time, relearning yourself and your strength, but it can be done.

I went through something like that in my life, it was short-ish, but long enough to teach me about myself. I spiraled into a dark depression involving love lost that took me years to get back. I lost every shred of self confidence and with it, all of my poise, style, and social skill. I had to relearn from scratch.

If you are in such a place, then you need to focus on yourself and mastering your own daemons. If therapy is not an option as your post suggested, then you will have to learn to give yourself therapy. You have to find what works in your situation and apply it.

For me, it was the teachings of Buddhism, for you it could be anything from religion, to self help, to pulling yourself up by the boot straps. There is no easy answer, and if there were, people would not get to that point.

Just remember, the times of success are not going to show us who we are, it is the times of stress that brings out the truth. Only when we are tried and found wanting do we have the ability grow and change our true selves. I think there is a good quote by Nietzsche about that.

Another one: “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” by Kahlil Gibran

_____________________________

quote:

Niccolo Machiavelli
Severities should be dealt out all at once, so that their suddenness may give less offense; benefits ought to be handed out drop by drop, so that they may be relished the more.


(in reply to Squidley)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 10:40:03 AM   
MyWorldCT


Posts: 98
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline 		Keep in mind that our bodies and mind are continually changing... it is just nature.  Take what you have left, protect it and build upon it.  Take babysteps... look for small achievements, celebrate them, and build upon them.  Work towards sensible goals, find someone in the medical field who will help with your chemical or physical changes.  Take the time to learn about holistic or herbal remedies for your symptoms, etc.

Focus on living and moving forward as you are not, not what you once were.  You will need to build up to that someday, but thinking you are going to get that back overnight will only lead to dissapointment and sadness.  Focus on the few positives, over the many negatives.

Hope is hard to maintian... maintianing hope and getting through each day should be your only goals at this point, until you gain enough strength to let someone into your life to help you. 

Even if the OP was hypothetical... he still had to think about this to write it.  So, I tell him to find hope, maintain it, and focus on YOU and getting YOU back into life.


(in reply to CrazyCats)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 6:26:41 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		 What do I do? I wonder why somebody asks such a detailed question. Writing a novel?

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 6:30:31 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Actually, it IS happening to me in a much smaller way, very gradually as I age.  I'm not happy about losing potency, but I'm taking care of myself and eating well, and will hopefully age gracefully.


All I know is from here your hawtness is hawter than ever!!!!

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/17/2009 10:09:48 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Some ppl have way to much time on their hands to dream this bs up

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/18/2009 3:58:18 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		So I take it the correct answer is "man up or die already"? :)

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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/18/2009 6:26:37 PM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

So I take it the correct answer is "man up or die already"? :)
Well... sort of.
That doesn't mean you ignore whatever problems are present.
You seek help if you need it (and are lucky enough to find it.)
Whatever level you're at, your job is to do the best you can working with what you have.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/18/2009 6:48:33 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeptha
Whatever level you're at, your job is to do the best you can working with what you have.


I'm having trouble seeing how there could be any other options but that. What does one do, other than the best one can with what one has?

(in reply to Jeptha)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/18/2009 6:59:58 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth
For whatever reason - severe neurochemical imbalance, organic brain dysfunction, maybe just the ravages of age - you are simply incapable of maintaining your composure anymore. Nothing works the way you want it to. People react to you strangely. You react to others strangely - even when you decide adamantly not to.

You lose the ability to maintain relationships even with your co-workers, and go from a six figure salary to consecutive years of unemployment, punctuated with periodic bouts of homelessness. You gradually try to get a medical handle on what's going on, but you seem to lack even the competence to do that, and 'The System' has better things to do than to coddle another basket case. Therapy is for people with either real problems, real money, or real welfare credentials, and you have none of these.

What do you do?


Lots of issues here so let's break it down:
 
First, what are the circumstances surrounding this breakdown?  Death of a loved one?  New baby?  New house?  Hearing voices?  Violent attack leading to PTSD?  What was the trigger?  Knowing that might help narrow the field of treatment options.
 
Second, if I'm incompetent to care for myself, my family would do it for me.  If not my fiance, then my parents can and would take the necessary steps to get legal guardianship of me.  They would then be able to make medical decisions on my behalf and I'd let them.  I wouldn't want to live that way so I'd do whatever it took to get well again.
 
Further action would depend on the exact cause of the breakdown.  If I'm schizophrenic, bi-polar, or clinically depressed, there are medications to help.  I'd take them.  Other issues, such as PTSD, anxiety disorders, and anger management can all be treated by a combination of therapy and medication.  Therapy on a sliding scale can be arranged through a university or county mental health center.  I'd be on that like white on rice.
 
If whatever is happening to me is interfering with my job or relationships, it's not something to ignore.  Both of those mean whatever it is meets the clinical criteria for "real problems" and I'm not about to ignore them despite how trivial they might seem to anyone else.  They are important enough to me to create a conflict in my life, therefore they deserve all my attention and damned if I'm not going to get help by whatever means are necessary.
 
I'm also going to stop making excuses for why I can't get the help I need.  I will do whatever I need to do, no matter how distasteful, to get myself back on track.  SOMETHING IS WRONG and damned if I'm not going to pitch a fit until someone helps me fix it.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
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RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/18/2009 11:30:56 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth What do you do?
There are always opportunities.  The situation you describe does not exist by my experience and exposure.  If I had lost all means of legal power and control I would turn to the illegal methods and go back underground.  Then I would take the profits and buy foreign slave talent since the locals had jumped ship.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/19/2009 11:38:34 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth What do you do?
There are always opportunities.  The situation you describe does not exist by my experience and exposure.  If I had lost all means of legal power and control I would turn to the illegal methods and go back underground.  Then I would take the profits and buy foreign slave talent since the locals had jumped ship.


So no Socrates ending for you, then? :)

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What would you do if you "lost the touch?" - 2/19/2009 12:13:22 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Imagine, one day, you discover that all your self-control, all your willpower, all your self-respect, all your ability to be self-assured and charismatic and dominant and what-have-you, is slipping away.

For whatever reason - severe neurochemical imbalance, organic brain dysfunction, maybe just the ravages of age - you are simply incapable of maintaining your composure anymore. Nothing works the way you want it to. People react to you strangely. You react to others strangely - even when you decide adamantly not to.

Your subs are smart enough to not go down with a sinking ship, and get the hell out before you take them down with them. Your friends sensibly start losing respect for you as you slowly lose it. You lose the ability to maintain relationships even with your co-workers, and go from a six figure salary to consecutive years of unemployment, punctuated with periodic bouts of homelessness. You gradually try to get a medical handle on what's going on, but you seem to lack even the competence to do that, and 'The System' has better things to do than to coddle another basket case. Therapy is for people with either real problems, real money, or real welfare credentials, and you have none of these.

You can see that you're in no shape to be part of the scene anymore, and anyway no-one in their right mind would want you to be, but all the desires are still there. Luckily, no one will touch you with a ten-foot pole, which is just what someone of your newfound caliber deserves.

What do you do?


I know me and I can almost guarantee I wouldn't let myself get to that point. I just wouldn't.

I would quickly end up in front of a mirror, mentally screaming, "SNAP OUT OF IT BITCH!!"

And drag my sorry ass back to whatever realistic state it needed to be in.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)
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