Advice needed

Advice needed (Full Version)

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tari -> Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:17:33 AM)
Hi, i have discovered by accident that my housemate has 3 profiles going here in CM at the same time. He puts no details in his profiles & uses the same incorrect age each time. i know he has done this sort of thing in the past & am concerned that someone innocent may be hurt by his deception & lies. He communicates with women/subs promising them the world, even to bring them out from poor countries, but isn't in a situation to be able to do this, he just strings them along for fun. What do i do? anything? nothing? Any advice welcome.

redemption666 -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:23:07 AM)
a name exists for this type of thing. its known in internet circles as "trolling" , which involves creating multiple profiles with differring opinions which are often inflammatory and offensive or at the very least argumentative. its frowned upon and is unethical to say the least. id have a quiet word with him first if You get along, find some subtle way to mention you know what he's doing. if he doesnt listen then You can report his misuse of CM to the admin. might be worth chatting 1st if you think it'll work. He could be simply misguided but if he's making promises he cant keep to innocent users using lies and subterfuge he needs stopping. take care

CatdeMedici -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:24:53 AM)
I assume by "housemate", there is no more than a business or friendship attachment--I'd stay out of it IMHO---your worry is admirable, however, confrontations like these never end well, you could be accused of snooping.

came4U -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:40:35 AM)
Admin likely knows anyways..since you and roomy prolly share the same IP anyways. I am not sure if it is against TOS to have more than 1 name? but I agree, it isn't your problem and be glad you are not one of the ones he is attepting to fool as a time-waster.

MissMorrigan -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:50:27 AM)
Tari, what do you think you could do to resolve this situation? Your housemate uses this as a form of entertainment, he derives amusement from playing the buffoon online. Unless you are the homeowner and he is paying rent to you in which case you could voice your dislike of that behaviour and ask him to desist but even then you'd risk introducing a whole new set of problems, I'd be inclined to do nothing as it would create an even more unpleasant atmosphere when he informs you that are taking too much interest in his affairs.

antipode -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 1:57:34 AM)
Why are you sticking your nose in someone's personal affairs? Are you cyberstalking this housemate? What is your interest in him, that you feel this is appropriate behaviour on your part?

pdv99 -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 5:44:40 AM)
I can understand how saddened you are by his dishonesty, and concerned for the welfare of others - but to intervene in any way that identifies you personally could cause you grief. It's a classic moral dilemna. You have to square up whether you can afford to piss this (obviously none too moral) guy off, against the broader benefit to "society".

oceanwynds -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 6:19:34 AM)
A housemate to me is one who shares responsibilites for rent, electric and other bills. He helps around the house. You have not indicated that you two are in a Ds or Ms relationship. I am curious why you are snoopy around his emails, that strikes me odd and really rude. Unless you think your life is in danger due to illegal activities, there is no reason for you to police him.

KatyLied -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 7:19:29 AM)
Op - It's none of your business

CreativeDominant -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 7:34:36 AM)
Unless you are in a romantic and/or D/s-M/s relationship with this man, then what he is doing is none of your business. While some may consider it immoral, it is certainly not illegal and therefore, unlikely to cause you any legal problems. Personally, if I was the housemate doing this, I would wonder how you came by knowledge of my personal activities unless I made it a point of telling you...any other means you came by this knowledge---snooping---is out-of-bounds behavior for a housemate.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 7:37:47 AM)
By accident you only discovered your housemate had 3 collarme.com profiles? I find that kind of difficult to believe that you accidentally bump into somebodies 3 profiles! Speaking of minding your own business. This is called prying, nothing more nothing less.[>:]

colouredin -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 7:55:20 AM)
I have accidentally found someone with loads of profiles subtle (put in my location they all came up, same picture and everything what an idiot) but im with the masses that its none of the OP's business

feydeplume -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 8:09:47 AM)
Boy this coffee insomnia mix is REALLY working.... Get a new hobby. What, are you worrying that the housemate WILL send money to those poor girls in Nigeria/Somalia/Mars and he won't make rent? Is there a chance he might get his jollies with someone willing to play online? Sure! Is there a chance that someone might be totally taken in and have a learning experience from him? Sure! Is there a chance that he is just trying to meet someone and have a connection? Sure! At least now we (those that care on here) know that he is actually a he and not a russian scam, so that sorta ups his odds for contact.

LaTigresse -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 9:06:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tari Hi, i have discovered by accident that my housemate has 3 profiles going here in CM at the same time. He puts no details in his profiles & uses the same incorrect age each time. i know he has done this sort of thing in the past & am concerned that someone innocent may be hurt by his deception & lies. He communicates with women/subs promising them the world, even to bring them out from poor countries, but isn't in a situation to be able to do this, he just strings them along for fun. What do i do? anything? nothing? Any advice welcome. Advice? Mind your own business.

kdsub -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 9:33:32 AM)
I see most people are telling you it is none of your business...and that is the right advice...BUT... I think it would be different if it were they in your shoes. If it is bothering you to where you feel you must act...and if you feel it is safe to do so...just confront them with your worries. Be honest with your emotions and reasons for butting into their business. Be prepared for the possible consequences however. Butch

allthatjaz -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 10:21:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tari Hi, i have discovered by accident that my housemate has 3 profiles going here in CM at the same time. He puts no details in his profiles & uses the same incorrect age each time. i know he has done this sort of thing in the past & am concerned that someone innocent may be hurt by his deception & lies. He communicates with women/subs promising them the world, even to bring them out from poor countries, but isn't in a situation to be able to do this, he just strings them along for fun. What do i do? anything? nothing? Any advice welcome. Women/Men who talk online only need to accept that whoever they are talking to is probably being liberal with the truth. They take the risk just as he is taking the risk and thats the name of the game. The very women he's talking to are probably older than they say, if they are indeed men! It is not for you to police this guy because he is only doing what many others on here do

LaTigresse -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 10:44:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub I see most people are telling you it is none of your business...and that is the right advice...BUT... I think it would be different if it were they in your shoes. If it is bothering you to where you feel you must act...and if you feel it is safe to do so...just confront them with your worries. Be honest with your emotions and reasons for butting into their business. Be prepared for the possible consequences however. Butch My shoes are such that the person I share living space with, and I, don't snoop around in one another's personal things. Email, computer = personal. Kinda like going through a wallet or purse. Just not done.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 11:42:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub I see most people are telling you it is none of your business...and that is the right advice...BUT... I think it would be different if it were they in your shoes. If it is bothering you to where you feel you must act...and if you feel it is safe to do so...just confront them with your worries. Be honest with your emotions and reasons for butting into their business. Be prepared for the possible consequences however. Butch My shoes are such that the person I share living space with, and I, don't snoop around in one another's personal things. Email, computer = personal. Kinda like going through a wallet or purse. Just not done. Funny how many people don't get that though, LaT. My ex-wife thought nothing of going through my wallet when we first got together and when I called her on it the very first time I caught her at it, her response was "Why do you mind? Do you have something to hide? I wouldn't care if you went through MY purse". When I told her that the point was that I wouldn't, she just didn't get it. The rest of our lives together, I kept my wallet near me just to thwart her prying.

kdsub -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 11:53:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub I see most people are telling you it is none of your business...and that is the right advice...BUT... I think it would be different if it were they in your shoes. If it is bothering you to where you feel you must act...and if you feel it is safe to do so...just confront them with your worries. Be honest with your emotions and reasons for butting into their business. Be prepared for the possible consequences however. Butch My shoes are such that the person I share living space with, and I, don't snoop around in one another's personal things. Email, computer = personal. Kinda like going through a wallet or purse. Just not done. Sure it is every day...so you have never went through a wallet or purse?...Could be you are one of the honest ones. We don't know the real relationship between these people do we. We also don't know how this information was uncovered. Perhaps it was not snooping at all but just something in the open. There could be reasons for worry that have not been made public… We just don't know. Any question delivered with honesty and good reason is not butting into someone’s business. They either answer or don't... Then a decision must be made what to do with the answer or lack of one. Like I have said there will be consequences to the relationship because of the question…up to her if she thinks it important enough to take the chance. Butch PS... I need to pay attention to where I click for a reply...I did not mean a direct reply to your comment Latigresse I was directing to the op...I do this often and I apologize

CreativeDominant -> RE: Advice needed (2/16/2009 12:21:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub I see most people are telling you it is none of your business...and that is the right advice...BUT... I think it would be different if it were they in your shoes. If it is bothering you to where you feel you must act...and if you feel it is safe to do so...just confront them with your worries. Be honest with your emotions and reasons for butting into their business. Be prepared for the possible consequences however. Butch My shoes are such that the person I share living space with, and I, don't snoop around in one another's personal things. Email, computer = personal. Kinda like going through a wallet or purse. Just not done. Sure it is every day...so you have never went through a wallet or purse?...Could be you are one of the honest ones. We don't know the real relationship between these people do we. We also don't know how this information was uncovered. Perhaps it was not snooping at all but just something in the open. There could be reasons for worry that have not been made public… We just don't know. Any question delivered with honesty and good reason is not butting into someone’s business. They either answer or don't... Then a decision must be made what to do with the answer or lack of one. Like I have said there will be consequences to the relationship because of the question…up to her if she thinks it important enough to take the chance. Butch PS... I need to pay attention to where I click for a reply...I did not mean a direct reply to your comment Latigresse I was directing to the op...I do this often and I apologize I am not answering for LaT...she can do that herself but since you addressed a couple of things I also mentioned, I will answer those. As to the wallet/purse...you don't necessarily have to be totally honest to believe that it is just not right to go prying into another's private space. That is just what a wallet or purse is...something that someone owns to carry THEIR stuff in and included amongst that stuff? Important documents like Driver's License, S.S.N., Professional License, etc.. All private, all no one else's business. What other stuff? Old letters, pictures of past and present lovers, children, friends, etc.. All personal, all private UNLESS permission has been granted by the holder to view this. Sort of like walking into a store and deciding that since the counter boy isn't there, it's O.K. for YOU to open the cash register and ring up your sale. As to the part about any question asked with honesty and good reason automatically being a non-intrusive question (not butting into someone else's business)? In what world? Just because a question is honest and has good reason behind it doesn't make it automatically polite and O.K.. After all, the person doing the judging of whether or not the question is honest and has good reason is the person asking it, not the person being asked. My choosing to not answer a question that you have asked...in all "honesty" and with "good reason"... is not me choosing to hide something from you or me being dishonest, it is me deciding that it is none of your business and you were rude to ask it.

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