RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/19/2006 6:46:42 PM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

If all i wanted was sex, there's a disreputable bar down the street that i'm sure would serve. If all i cared about was D/s sex, i'd have a fling. i want it all; but there had damn well better be sex, LOL.

candystripper

(in reply to michaelGA)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/19/2006 7:11:39 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mauigurrlxxx

Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?

Well fuck...you mean there is sex involved?
/scratches head in confusion

Since when?!!!
/throws down her 'lifestyle' book and demands a refund

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/19/2006 8:06:38 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

evilgeoff...does not sound evil......

this is a very intelligent posting..

thank You

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/19/2006 9:54:31 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

There is no less legitimacy in seeking the physical BDSM sensation without sex entering into the picture. As long as you know yourself well enough to know how to get your synapses blazing, you shouldn't feel guilty when you do so.

Well put. And vice versa.

quote:

I have to agree that even vanilla intamacy without the intamacy of a camitment is unfulfilling and unrewarding as well.

I don't think this is universally true. I can find intimacy without commitment very fulfilling in some situations. For me, sometimes the lack of commitment actually contributes to the intensity.

And I have been in committed situations that lacked intimacy on some levels.

quote:

If all i wanted was sex, there's a disreputable bar down the street that i'm sure would serve.

There is a big difference between only wanting sex, and sexuality as a primary motivator.

(in reply to candystripper)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/19/2006 11:10:07 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

evilgeoff...does not sound evil......

this is a very intelligent posting..

thank You

Thank you veronica! *chuckles* I save the real "Evil" for those silly enough to become my victi... uh.... er... volunteers! Yeah, volunteers!

My journey is my own, others have their own to make. While there are paths that I do not approve of, in most cases, I don't find the need to condemn those other choices.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/20/2006 1:47:14 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Sex and sensuality are prime motivators for me to be involved in this lifestyle basically because they are both play aspects to me. They are a way to enjoy intimacy with my partner, have fun and do *just us* stuff that no one else is included in.
I serve all the time, in my job, in my life, its part of my nature and i would serve any partner whether they be vanilla or a Dominant.
I am also very attracted to Dominant Men, who are comfortable with themselves, this too might be a prime motivator to be within this lifestyle.
There are heaps of intelligent, wise amazing men out there...yet one oozing Dominant sex appeal ..well yeah... just has that lil something extra....its a movitating factor.

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/20/2006 3:11:37 AM

gbgirlz2003

Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

There are heaps of intelligent, wise amazing men out there...yet one oozing Dominant sex appeal ..well yeah... just has that lil something extra....its a movitating factor.

Amen sister. I may be used by a dozen or more; but when it is time to end the day, I want to be snubbled at my Master's side.

_____________________________

One of Master's many sluts

(in reply to slavejali)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/20/2006 8:26:17 PM

Ares1

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I can find intimacy without commitment very fulfilling in some situations. For me, sometimes the lack of commitment actually contributes to the intensity.

And I have been in committed situations that lacked intimacy

This second is no suprise to me but I'd the instances of you actually exprencing intimacy are more fantasy that real world. I feel pity for damaged individuals like yourself incapable of having a normal relationships. You are fated to live a life of searching, but never finding.

(in reply to Sensualips)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/20/2006 9:00:24 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ares1

quote:

I can find intimacy without commitment very fulfilling in some situations. For me, sometimes the lack of commitment actually contributes to the intensity.

And I have been in committed situations that lacked intimacy

This second is no suprise to me but I'd the instances of you actually exprencing intimacy are more fantasy that real world. I feel pity for damaged individuals like yourself incapable of having a normal relationships. You are fated to live a life of searching, but never finding.

and I feel pity for souls like you that wish to cause pain and hurt just because your in pain and hurt.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Ares1)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/21/2006 12:46:50 AM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ares1

This second is no suprise to me but I'd the instances of you actually exprencing intimacy are more fantasy that real world. I feel pity for damaged individuals like yourself incapable of having a normal relationships. You are fated to live a life of searching, but never finding.

Different strokes for different folks. Poly, swing, casual, scene only, commited unto death, monogamous.... We each have our own needs and desires. And we each can find our own paths. My path works for me, it may not work for you or KoM or Sensualips...

And because my path is different is no reason at all for me to condemn someone else's. Just because I do not understand it, or desire it, or find it meets my needs does not invalidate the path someone else takes. The flip side is true too. Just as no one made ME the judge of the One True Way, no one made you arbiter of the validity of another's journey.

Please keep an open mind and heart here. You may find more here to help you on your own path of growth and enlightenment.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to Ares1)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/21/2006 8:34:13 AM

brokenhallelujah

Posts: 22
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

For me, one of the most fulfilling -- and challenging -- aspects of embracing BDSM as part of my lifestyle, was the degree to which it makes one think about H/his or H/her sexuality. And although for me intercourse is part of that equation, it's the right hand side of the equation. In other words, the physical consummation of the intimate act is the resolution of many other factors that go into place before that act can occur.

Fetish and kink tend to make one aestheticisze sexuality. To express it in well-thought out, more eloquent fashions. So much of the human sexuality that we observe is so primal, so immediate, as if thought and feeling were somehow subservient to satisfying that animal urge to copulate. The rituals that I observe in my kink-oriented sexual moments act as brakes, of a sort, that require a certain degree of mindfullness about the interaction.

BDSM is not, for everyone, about sex. It can mean different things to different people, address different needs, express different needs. To me, it IS about sex because it IS the way I experience intimacy most completely with another. But there's so much more internal dialogue and negotiation that has to take place before that intimacy can occur.

(in reply to cltcdrd)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/21/2006 8:59:31 AM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenhallelujah

For me, one of the most fulfilling -- and challenging -- aspects of embracing BDSM as part of my lifestyle, was the degree to which it makes one think about H/his or H/her sexuality. And although for me intercourse is part of that equation, it's the right hand side of the equation. In other words, the physical consummation of the intimate act is the resolution of many other factors that go into place before that act can occur.

Fetish and kink tend to make one aestheticisze sexuality. To express it in well-thought out, more eloquent fashions. So much of the human sexuality that we observe is so primal, so immediate, as if thought and feeling were somehow subservient to satisfying that animal urge to copulate. The rituals that I observe in my kink-oriented sexual moments act as brakes, of a sort, that require a certain degree of mindfullness about the interaction.

BDSM is not, for everyone, about sex. It can mean different things to different people, address different needs, express different needs. To me, it IS about sex because it IS the way I experience intimacy most completely with another. But there's so much more internal dialogue and negotiation that has to take place before that intimacy can occur.

Wow, I can relate to your words

(in reply to brokenhallelujah)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/25/2006 3:51:38 PM

lonewolfe

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

BDSM without sex is simply a waste of time. Unfortunately an all inclusive Domme is an extremely rare treasure when found. As previously posted. Why participate in foreplay if after play is denied. Rosey does a most satifing job at an afordable price.

LOL

It is a pitty that Nevada is so far away.

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/25/2006 4:26:32 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

BDSM without sex is simply a waste of time.
===============================

b-bondage
d-omination/domme/dom
s-adist/slave/submissive
m-asochist

now let's see...i am part of the D/s...so...sex is the EXCLUSIVE part for you?
i wonder what you do then, when you ever go to a play party if you get invited and there is NO sex allowed????????

makes me worry if you would ever BE invited.......

i do feel bad for you.....but it IS....YOUR choice i guess.
take care

< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 1/25/2006 4:28:12 PM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to lonewolfe)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/25/2006 4:33:07 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolfe

BDSM without sex is simply a waste of time.

maybe for you ... but not for everyone. It really is a matter of personal preferences of those involved.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to lonewolfe)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/25/2006 6:41:33 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Can anyone give me another reason people decide to go from the vanilla world to the 'lifestyle' world besides broadening/exploring their sexual deviancies? Is there any core reason beside heightening their sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy their libido?

i can only offer reason(s) why this one would

1) It seems like a calling
2) Freedom to choose, the form and style of my relationship with my P/partner
3) All "vanilla world" experiences keep indicating this conclusion
4) Freedom from a sense of "aloneness"
5) Realization of and experiencing a different, seemimgly more evolved type(s) of intimacy (non-sexual reference)

6) Gladness in realizing that two of my first 5 answers contain the word "freedom."

i would have also said "heightening my sexual opportunities and expanding their efforts to satisfy my libido?" - but you had already used that one

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/25/2006 10:58:40 PM

classykindasassy

Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Yes it is driven by sex to large degree. BUT, I have to say that, in living a deeply spiritual life, a compelling draw for me to the structure of D/s is the growth I have had to do to be a fine sub.

This raising of the threshold of tolerance, this level of focus, this level of acceptance and giving up resistance, has added deeper dimensions to EVERY other aspect of my life. I have learned skills and lessons here in the lifestyle that have made me a better person with stronger coping skills and better communication and tolerance for others' foibles OUT THERE in vanillaland.

I am grateful for the development I have had at the hands of the lifestyle, completely aside from stellar sex.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to seaturtle50)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/26/2006 8:07:42 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

oh love this controversial topic.....

i am not in this for kinky sex....i am not a pain slut and Master is not a sadist....

it is the M/s dynamic ....that primal need for natural order.....i serve his wishes, his happiness is my priority...and b/c i am a good slave.... Master takes very good care of me in return.

a happy slave is a pleasing slave and

Master feeds this girls belly well...........she in turn keeps him Happy....in many ways....but
it is not about the bedroom (but tehn again there is the old debate about Gor not being BDSM so....go figure-i just know what works for Master and keeps this girl serving)

sex ---whooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo-----well shoot----thats desert

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/26/2006 8:12:55 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

If my Dragon and I never had sex again... I would still be his slave and be his wife. Sex was not the motivator for me to became his. I was tired of trying to 'control' all the aspects of my life and needed to turn that control over to someone. Through that act, my submission to my Dragon broadend unto being his slave.

1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: 'lifestyle' = SEX - 1/26/2006 8:13:36 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

lol me neither but its simple enough....i'm sure...
i think it says
Master runs the show....

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

quote:

Damn, I need to check the manual again....

there's a manual? i didn't get one.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to michaelGA)

Profile

Post #: 80