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Question on Protocol - 2/16/2009 11:19:09 PM

housemouseinoz

Posts: 83
Joined: 2/3/2009
Status: offline

i would like to ask a question of the Doms on the board please. Being quite new to the lifestyle and also to this site, i am unsure about making contact with others.

i have created my profile, and it stated that i am in a 24/7 relationship with my Dom and He is also a member of this site.

today i got a personal message from a Dom saying he would like to get to know me better, he was interested in my profile, we could be friends and then take it from there......perhaps i am old fashioned.....but being as my profile states what type of relationship i am in, i thought it was quite disrespectful to my Dom and also myself.

i have not ticked any of the many boxs that are there obviously to give more information about ourselves, and perhaps that is something i should do and be more clear about so others know what i want and what i don't want. i had a look to see what posts this Dom had posted to the boards and he hasn't, so he may be a tyre kicker for all i know.

would him sending me the original message and the content be classed as disrespectful........that's my question :-)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post

housemouseinoz

Post #: 1

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/16/2009 11:22:12 PM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

No, I don't think it's disrespectful necessarily. Perhaps he was just spamming every female submissive inbox he could find, and therefore is more of a spamming asshat than a disrespectful dominant. It's pretty common for people to spam everyone that is even remotely suitable for them, and hope to get 1 or 2 replies. Sad tactic, but that's how it goes on websites where it's free to sign up and even free to send messages.

I would (personally) block the sender, don't reply, and inform your dominant. But I'm not you, so you'll have to make your own decision there.

_____________________________

I won't see your reply, because I don't use this account anymore.

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 2

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/16/2009 11:30:41 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

chances are the guy didnt bother to read your profile at all.

I've been on CM for a while, just got married to my Dom (which is stated in HUGE, BRIGHTLY COLORED LETTERS at the top of my profile....) and I still get those emails... I usually just laugh and delete. If I'm feeling snarky..I reply in a snarky manner.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 3

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/16/2009 11:31:05 PM

FelineFae

Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline

that isn't likely to be the last c-mail you will get like that.
we all get them. subs get letters from people want to be dom'd.
doms get letters from people asking if they are will lick some womans boots.
block them and it'll all be fine. hope this helps- feline

_____________________________

FelineFae
All right reserved by Chaos
: Disclaimer :
Do not expose FelineFae to direct sunlight.
FelineFae cannot spell in any language.
Granting of Fae-Wishes VOID where prohibitededed.
Individual results may vary.

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 4

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 12:09:01 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

If mails are that disturbing to you, make a couples profile and state that you are the one using it. If anyone still writes they obviously didn't view it or they want to be a third. Nothing you can do about that, except turn off pm's from males, females and couples and never check your bulk mail folder.

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 5

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 1:54:56 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: housemouseinoz

i would like to ask a question of the Doms on the board please. Being quite new to the lifestyle and also to this site, i am unsure about making contact with others.

i have created my profile, and it stated that i am in a 24/7 relationship with my Dom and He is also a member of this site.

today i got a personal message from a Dom saying he would like to get to know me better, he was interested in my profile, we could be friends and then take it from there......perhaps i am old fashioned.....but being as my profile states what type of relationship i am in, i thought it was quite disrespectful to my Dom and also myself.

i have not ticked any of the many boxs that are there obviously to give more information about ourselves, and perhaps that is something i should do and be more clear about so others know what i want and what i don't want. i had a look to see what posts this Dom had posted to the boards and he hasn't, so he may be a tyre kicker for all i know.

would him sending me the original message and the content be classed as disrespectful........that's my question :-)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post

housemouseinoz

Well I just had a quick squiz at your profile and even though you may not have ticked "any of the many boxs that are there", you have volunteered the most relevant information for horn geeks. IE, you're female, submissive and apparently have a heart beat.

What you do is accept that geek mail is a fact of life for females and the best way to deal with it is to forget about who's much mighty dom or master etc and treat them with the same respect that they treat you. It doesn't matter what you put in your profile; most geeks don't read beyond "female" - another fact of Net life!

Unless you get off on being slave to your keyboard, you don't indulge rude or uninvested timewasting arseholes. It's not hard to spot sincere and respectful mail once you get past the "profile" (Master, Sir, Lord etc) protocol bullshit - just keep it simple and do what you'd do with any everyday person who you feel is disrespecting you or your relationship....

Good luck.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 6

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 5:41:17 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Daily I get emails from females from Africa, Europe, UK and the USA swearing they will servemefaithfully or wanting to getto know me.Since it clearly states in my profile that I live in Australia and a possible slave is required to live close by and that I will not ship her here, it is a reasonable bet that they haven't read my profile at all. If they have a decent profile I'll respond briefly respond, commenting on the profile and reminding her where I live. Others I simply block the sender and delete the message. My time on line is curtailed by life and I choose to get the best out of that time.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 7

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 7:51:28 AM

VeryNastyDom

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline

Most people do not read profiles - period. I at least skim them from top to bottom, and I never contact a sub who is in an existing relationship unless the profile clearly states that the sub is looking and open to new experiences and partners. I do think that contacting a sub who has expressed that she is owned in her profile shows disrespect.

That said, it is perfectly OK to contact others in the lifestyle for friendship purposes or to get more information about the local scene, etc. However, the first email needs to be clear on what it is that you are looking for.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 8

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 8:15:31 AM

hopeful68

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline

collar me is full of trolls.. fact of life.. a lot of disrespect on this site.. a lot of men just looking to use and abuse.. sad fact.

(in reply to VeryNastyDom)

Post #: 9

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 8:20:52 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I think you should reply to him and engage him in lengthy conversations. Tease him, play with him, then block him, but only after you've had some fun.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 10

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 12:19:05 PM

SirTIEandTeaseU

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think you should reply to him and engage him in lengthy conversations. Tease him, play with him, then block him, but only after you've had some fun.

Not that I would condone a submissive to do that, but I have to tell you, I burst out laughing at the idea. (after you've had some fun). Classic...

Great Post!

Take care,
SirTIEandTeaseU

PS - To the op, simply block and move on, no reason to even reply. And inform your Dom as well, or ask him what to do? Because it will happen again. Was the other Dom who wrote it disrespectful, yes if it was stated on your profile, he should not have done it, but as others have stated, this site is full of asshats who will desperately send off a mail to anyone they perceive to have a pulse. Best of Luck.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 11

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 12:27:54 PM

MyWorldCT

Posts: 98
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think you should reply to him and engage him in lengthy conversations. Tease him, play with him, then block him, but only after you've had some fun.

... and also send him some pictures that you farm online and tell him that those pictures are of you. Make him drool and let his tongue hang-out before you slam his mouth shut on his nasty, dripping tongue!!!

<--- me

OR... just block the loser... your choice

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 2:58:36 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Weh some one starts getting too pushy and demandsmyphone number. I give them:

Dial a preyer
Dial Legal Aid
Dial a Satanist
Dial a Politician
For the US person I give them 202-456-1414.

People who do get my phone nukmber get first my mobile (cell) number and later the home number. Both have security attached. Suprising how many do not understand the simple word NO. "N" for nyet and "O" for ouch when my foor connects wi

th their posterior..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MyWorldCT)

Post #: 13

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 4:30:51 PM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

If all you are here for is the message boards and you aren't looking for anything, you can always hide your profile and put the relevant info in your signature so people see it on posts. People are able to send you c-mail through the pm part on the lower left hand corner of your posted message on here and you can send cmail to profiles or people if you wish and they can respond to you if you initiate a cmail to them. Then you don't have to worry about trollers looking through profiles and sending a hey baby, do you like fat dudes with no money emails to every female profile they encounter.

Otherwise you will just have to put up with it. Its not a question of people being disrespectful, its a question of acknowledging you get all types of people here. If you are going to worry about people being disrespectful, you are in for a rude awakening lol even on the message boards.

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/17/2009 6:24:16 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Block. There are plenty of trolls.

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 15

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/18/2009 11:19:46 PM

micah1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

It was very disrespectful of him.....period
do not respond
amend your profile to say that you are not allowed to talk, IM or email other Doms and if any want to talk to you they need the permission of your Dom
give your Dom my compliments.....even new, you understand ....respect

(in reply to antipode)

Post #: 16

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/19/2009 3:31:31 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

A lot of the Doms do not even read the profile...probably this one didn't either.

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 17

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/19/2009 3:39:17 AM

Leonidas

Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline

I think you were mislead about the statement on the home page that this is a "BDSM" community. There's a BDSM community here, but it's smack dab in the middle of an internet site that has pictures of naked girls on it who seem like they might like to fuck. It's fair to say that 90% of the men here are here for that reason alone.

As with any internet "sex personals" site, the sexually desparate are going to write to anyone with a profile who is (roughly) female. They don't care about, or even read, your profile. You have a pussy, and they'd like to use it, if you wouldn't mind. Or, if that's not possible, if you could at least flirt a little and pretend like you might let them use it, they'll take matters into their own hands, and be most appreciative.

Hope that helps.

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to housemouseinoz)

Post #: 18

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/19/2009 3:59:13 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Protocol smotocol...it's a bloody e-mail. Why over think things? If you didn't like it then delete and move on. The same way you would an unwanted e-mail in your yahoo or hotmail folder.

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 19

RE: Question on Protocol - 2/19/2009 4:30:59 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

I think you were mislead about the statement on the home page that this is a "BDSM" community. There's a BDSM community here, but it's smack dab in the middle of an internet site that has pictures of naked girls on it who seem like they might like to fuck. It's fair to say that 90% of the men here are here for that reason alone.

As with any internet "sex personals" site, the sexually desparate are going to write to anyone with a profile who is (roughly) female. They don't care about, or even read, your profile. You have a pussy, and they'd like to use it, if you wouldn't mind. Or, if that's not possible, if you could at least flirt a little and pretend like you might let them use it, they'll take matters into their own hands, and be most appreciative.

Hope that helps.

Brilliant!!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Leonidas)

Post #: 20

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