RE: Is it wrong?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is it wrong?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it wrong?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is it wrong? - 2/20/2009 8:52:25 AM

VeryNastyDom

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline

The needs and desires of the Master and sub must be aligned, or at least reasonably so, or else the relationship will not work. I figure at least 99% of the subs out there are not going to be a match to my tastes and when I find one that is not, I politely wish them well in their search and keep on looking for a member of the 1% group. Any other reaction, especially when the sub has stated what they are NOT into, is a bit immmature.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Is it wrong? - 2/20/2009 2:55:41 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

Until you have been claimed, and acknowledge that claim, the easiest solution to these situations is just to walk away (or delete/block/turn off the computer). If someone isn't compatible with where you're at, then you are under no obligation. At the same time, nobody -owes- you anything, not even to prove themselves. If you don't like someone, then don't talk to hir again. No drama... just knowing yourself, retaining your self-respect, and making good decisions about where and how you'll use your social time, until such point as you give someone else the right to decide that for you (if you ever do).

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Is it wrong? - 2/20/2009 5:22:58 PM

smallspoon

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/18/2009
Status: offline

If "He" didn't get your hard limit regarding phone/cyber sex ~ he most likely wouldn't get your real life hard limits either. That's simply not acceptable. (I have a "no online Dom" clause in my profile for the very reason stated in the opening post.)

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Is it wrong? - 2/20/2009 5:30:40 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Of course it's not wrong. For one thing, a total stranger you have not even met yet has no right to give you orders. And a slave has a right to have standards. Why would a successful, intelligent, educated, disciplined submissive accept an illiterate slob for a Mistress or master? It makes no sense. Every person has the right to decide what he/she will accept in a partner.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to subeos)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Is it wrong? - 2/21/2009 2:32:48 AM

TwilightsKitten

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/10/2009
Status: offline

Submissive does not mean "Wipe your feet here". If someone has agreed to be my pet, and me their master, then yes, I'd expect them to do as told within the established limits. However, if I am just meeting them for the first time, I don't expect them to go get my newspaper for me. Until you have accepted your role as a submissive or dominant, you are just another person here looking for someone, and as such, you are entitled to decide what you want in a partner. If anything, knowing what you want is a good thing, it means you know yourself.

_____________________________

~*Kitten*~

Friend: "So, you're a cat boy?"
Me: "Cat girls need love too"

Mew!

[Straight, Male, Switch]

(in reply to slavekal)

Profile

Post #: 25