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introductions - 2/19/2009 7:20:33 PM   
aaronsub1978


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hello to all, Mistress, Ma'am, Ladies, Queens, Subs and other people i have missed.

i have tried to speak with many Mistresses and seem to get a negative reaction. patience this one has been, and would like to live the lifestlye. can someone help me with what im doing wrong. Also Australia, Wagga Wagga dosnt seem to have a large BDSM family or im looking in the wrong place.

Need help please! im not a guy looking for a power trip or free sex. i have been a shy boy and always known that women are the supreme gender.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: introductions - 2/20/2009 6:01:23 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

aaronsub1978 wrote:
i have... always known that women are the supreme gender.

A lot of unattached subs say things like this and I'm never sure if they believe it or not.  There's a big thread about female supremacy going on at the moment so I don't want to get into an argument about that here.  All I will say is that a large majority of dominant women believe that neither sex is superior.  So, if you're just saying that because you think it's the right thing to say, I suggest you reconsider.  If it is something you believe in, try to approach Dommes as human beings first, and dominant members of the supreme gender second.

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: introductions - 2/20/2009 8:39:12 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		<hugs beeble> someone does get it.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: introductions - 2/20/2009 12:28:32 PM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with the thoughts just the approach.If yopu are confused as to what is happening with your intros then your intros need work.Some Dominas may state they seek experience but i will tell you what 100% seek and that is honesty.Be honest with them and yourself and you just might surprise yourself.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: introductions - 2/20/2009 2:48:07 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Possibly most Dommes are swamped with messages, they don't know how serious you are, most possibly see you are relatively new here and well, to put it mildly, new members can be a bit "over enthusiastic", also try to read the profiles and mention something about their profiles to show you have read them, I can tell you, there is nothing that turns me off more and quicker than a guy claiming he has read my "whole profile" and then asking for something that I stated as an absolute dislike...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: introductions - 2/20/2009 8:40:14 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Here are some tips which you may find helpful.

1. Always first read any rules for applying on her website, blog, or profile. She might have certain rules, criteria, or requirements for applying to her.

2. When applying remember to state your experience, but do not list out your fetishes in a way which seems like a script of what you expect her to do for or to you. If you come across as selfish, demanding, or topping from the bottom then she will not be interested. She wants a real submissive.

3. If you hope to find a real Mistress, behave like a real slave. Do not be selfish, rude, or act like a client wanting only a session.

4. List out all the ways you feel you can serve her (not the ways you hope to serve her since that again comes across as a scripted list of your fetishes.)

5. Do not send crude sexual pictures of yourself. In fact, it is best not to send any pictures until she asks for one. She most likely already has enough pictures crowding her files.

6. Do not send a template email, or a bulk mailout email to several Mistresses at once. She will not consider you serious about wanting to be HER slave.

7. Be honest and sincere.

8. If you do not receive a reply from her after 3 days, do a polite follow up in case she did not receive your email.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: introductions - 2/21/2009 9:16:11 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		You can get yourself into an ego trip invent some incredibly submissive or slave persona and hope that MistressBitchfaceGoddessDeathRay (who is also on an ego trip) will like your ego trip from the 100's of ego trips that pass by her each day and you get it together...

...or you can simply be yourself, understand that behind every Goddess, Mistress, Lady and so forth is a woman, get to know her as a person and approach her as you would a new female friend and take it from there.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: introductions - 2/21/2009 9:21:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Stella you are such a REBEL!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 12:55:11 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Not sure about Wagga Wagga but it is true that it can be hard to find fellow bdsmers in smaller rural cities in Australia! That said, Master and I found some here in Bundy so there's hope! It's always good to check over your approaches and see if they can be improved. The Academy Assistant Mistress gave some excellent advice, and other threads here caution against the truly annoying one liner! "Hello Maam", "How are You today?" "Greetings from a boy who wants to be Your slave" are all ones I've received that don't work. The first one leaves Me nowhere to go other than to say Hello back. The second is only marginally better in that I get to say how I am but it doesn't extend the conversation. And the third might appear to be a good way to start ... except how can he want to be My slave when he doesn't know Me at all?? What makes him think I'd accept someone who was willing to bow to anyone? So, as the advice says, approach them as a Woman first, read their profile and comment on it specifically (or better yet, ask a question about something in the profile), be friendly, polite, write in full words, greet the person with their screen name (don't make assumptions about what they like to be called, We're all different!), and actually sign off the note.

An example:

Hello (Her screen name)
I am from (general location - make sure it's appropriate to where She is from/states She wants) and I am looking to become involved in BDSM. From what I have read/experienced, I identify as a submissive male. I was reading through your profile and I saw that you really enjoy (x) activity. I am not very experienced but I am curious and willing to learn as much as possible so I'd really appreciate it if you would explain what (x) means to you.
Thank you in anticipation of your time.
Regards
(your screen name)

It's not rocket science, it's good manners!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 1:07:16 PM   
aaronsub1978


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Beeble, CatdeMedici, Chezzy71,LadyConstanze, AcademyForSlaves, Stella41b, LadyHibiscus and MaamJay,

Thankyou and wish that i had known half of the information that you Ladies have included here. In my own experience it is expressed by many that they require money, although i was hesitant in outlaying money to someone i did not trust or even know.

Thankyou for your help, in which i appreciate greatly. i shall change my approach greatly. 

With in this Lifestyle, should the sub be respected by the Domme? Once again thankyou for all your help.

With respect
aaronsub  

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 2:22:26 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

aaronsub1978 wrote:
Dear Beeble, CatdeMedici, Chezzy71,LadyConstanze, AcademyForSlaves, Stella41b, LadyHibiscus and MaamJay,

Thankyou and wish that i had known half of the information that you Ladies have included here.

The other half of the information that you need is that Chezzy and I are guys.   But I don't mind and you're neither the first nor, I'm sure, the last to make that mistake.

quote:

In my own experience it is expressed by many that they require money, although i was hesitant in outlaying money to someone i did not trust or even know.

Unless you're paying a reputable pro for a session, I wouldn't recommend parting with any cash.  Why should you have to prove yourself to her when she doesn't have to prove herself to you.  And what does paying money prove, anyway?

quote:

With in this Lifestyle, should the sub be respected by the Domme?

As far as I'm concerned, you should respect people as much as you feel they deserve, regardless of whether they're submissive, dominant, both or neither.  Whether or not somebody enjoys whipping or being whipped is a completely separate issue from whether they deserve your respect.

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 4:53:18 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

Unless you're paying a reputable pro for a session, I wouldn't recommend parting with any cash. Why should you have to prove yourself to her when she doesn't have to prove herself to you. And what does paying money prove, anyway?

beeble.



Even though Bebble's question is rhetorical I feel the need to answer anyway.

That have sucker written all over your face and enjoy throwing away your money with no hope of receiving anything in return

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 5:15:00 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

.....MistressBitchfaceGoddessDeathRay (who is also on an ego trip)...


ROFL !!  Yet another Stella classic !!

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 5:26:31 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

mummyman321 wrote: Even though Bebble's question is rhetorical I feel the need to answer anyway.

That have sucker written all over your face and enjoy throwing away your money with no hope of receiving anything in return

Yes, yes.  But, apart from writing sucker all over our faces, throwing away our money and never giving us anything in return, what have the Romans ever done for us?

beeble.


_____________________________

Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: introductions - 2/23/2009 11:14:04 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Well, for me, checking your spelling is part of it.

A "bad" email to me: One line of "hello" "how are you" or "I want to obey you in all things", with misspellings, from someone outside my area of consideration, or with kinks I've said are not mine.

A "good" email.  "Good evening, I hope you are well. I have read your profile, and since we have compatible kinks and I meet your requirements as stated in the profile, I would like to open a conversation with you and see what might come of it. I may be reached at (email) or on (messenger identity). Thank you for your time, and I hope to hear from you."

_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: introductions - 2/24/2009 12:32:13 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		You're welcome aaron. As to money, I agree there is a vast difference between choosing to spend $$ on a real life session with a good pro-Domme and agreeing to send money (often phrased as tribute) to someone online you don't know! A good sub is a sensible sub!

As to respect, I believe it is earned on both sides of the slash. I expect My sub to respect Me, and I expect to respect him. At the outset, both should treat the other respectfully and courteously until perhaps they act in a way that indicates they don't deserve it. In which scenario you could still choose the high moral ground and respectfully say "Thanks but no thanks" and leave!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to aaronsub1978)
Profile   Post #: 16
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