feeling low (Full Version)

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serisa -> feeling low (2/20/2009 3:47:30 AM)

i see my Dominant once a week os so.  Last night i spent a great few hours with Him.  We had wonderful sexual play plus time to chat.  He was affectionate.  i look forward to His visits so much and enjoy His company. 
But this morning i dont understand my feelings, i feel low and unloved but i dont know why. i dont feel special or appreciated.  i cant understand why i feel like this when i had such a great time. Does any one else ever feel like this and are you able to indentify why it is you feel like it?
We have never spent the night together in our few years of being together, He always goes back to His own home, so i am wondering if the short time we cuddle after a couple hours of sexual play could be anything to do with it but to be honest i am not really too sure if this could be it, or partly it

Thank Y/you



sultana1 -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 3:49:11 AM)

I'm not saying I know anything, But have you ever been to his home?

Do you know if he is actually married and cheating on his wife?



serisa -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 3:53:27 AM)

no, its ok.  i have been to His home several times and He is def single.  Not been there for a good year or more now out of about three years but this is because He has His adult daughter there.  We have mutual friends too so its common knowledge He is a divorcee



sirsholly -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 3:58:38 AM)

You spend a few hours a week with him and the relationship is three years old? I would not be happy with that either.



CatdeMedici -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 4:04:32 AM)

Trust your "spidey "senses, they are seldom wrong.  I'm with sirsholly, three years and still the occasional sex romp? If it smells like poop, chances are it is.
 



came4U -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 4:25:17 AM)

Sounds like a the perfect relationship for me. A guy that doesn't linger after 'the deed'..sweeeet. Does he have a brother? lol

You though seemed to have tolerated this for quite a while and want to change the rules.  Then say so.  If he cannot give more then reconsider if it is worth it. 




rubberpet -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 4:37:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Trust your "spidey "senses, they are seldom wrong.  I'm with sirsholly, three years and still the occasional sex romp? If it smells like poop, chances are it is.
 


Ditto!  If it hasn't taken off by now, it never will.  Something is most likely fishy.  Now, if you two are just really good friends and not expecting anything more than some slap-n-tickle and the occasional nookiefest, then there's nothing to be wiggy over.  You can stay on the same path you're on, talk to him and tell him you want more out of the relationship, or find someone new who's looking for the same thing you are.  Don't just sit there in the dark and complain that the light burnt out.  Get off your tail and change that lightbulb.



windchymes -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 4:54:58 AM)

Well, it sounds as though he just keeps you for kinky play and sex and a little affection afterwards.  I'd feel un"love"d, too.  Ain't no "love" going on there, baby.

Have you met the adult "daughter"?  Seems like after three freaking years, he'd be introducing you to family members as a girlfriend.  If it really is his biological daughter living with him, why the need to hide that he dates women?  If he feels the need to hide your relationship, then I'd bet the rent money that she's not a blood relative.

I'd have a one-to-one in a non-sexual situation, ask him what he feels and what his future plans are, and if they're unacceptable to what YOU want out of a relationship, then move on. 



serisa -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 5:08:13 AM)

thanks for the advice.  i think with the daughter thing the problem is she is my own age so perhaps understandably isnt going to be too comfortable with my relationship to her father



windchymes -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 5:11:48 AM)

Ok, so does he live to keep his ADULT daughter happy?  If so, then you're always going to take a back seat. 



sirsholly -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 5:11:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

thanks for the advice.  i think with the daughter thing the problem is she is my own age so perhaps understandably isnt going to be too comfortable with my relationship to her father

So she is an adult, right? And Daddy is hiding his lady from her...why?

I am sorry Sweetie, but you are in a situation that screams "fuck buddy"



marie2 -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 5:14:46 AM)

Maybe you're experiencing sub-drop.



Phoenixpower -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 5:27:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa
We have never spent the night together in our few years of being together, He always goes back to His own home, so i am wondering if the short time we cuddle after a couple hours of sexual play could be anything to do with it


Reminds me of my own experience in 2005. I also was involved with a guy for almost two years at the end, who was great in many aspects and we are still great friends. But we also never spent a night together and actually in March 2006 he said he would "probably be ready to start spending nights together at end of 2006".

Well his life changed soon later due to a massive career change, which was then he last drop which was needed to finish our relationship as with that change it was cristal clear, that there is no space for me. In his case I also knew he is single and I have been at his place several times, the way how I experienced him was that he is just plain happy to be just on his own. He has -in my opinion- simply bottled up about proper relationships for the future due to not that great experiences in the past (though I do know his tougher side as well by now and do not just blame the female part on that) and there was nothing else I could do (and I did a lot...).

We are still friends as I said, but I moved on as I can't be bothered to continue something like that and to be left with countless empty promises. So in his case he simply, by now, is happier to just be on his own, and so he can have himself completely on his own again [:)]



Missokyst -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 6:11:57 AM)

Heck I would feel low too if I was seeing someone for 3 yrs and they never spent the night even after hours of playing together. 
Do you always want to be just a fuck buddy?
If not, why not let him know.
Kyst



allthatjaz -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 7:33:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Maybe you're experiencing sub-drop.



Yes and exactly!

The op never said she was unhappy with this arrangement nor did she say she wanted more from the arranged relationship. More to the point, she didn't actually ask for advise on her relationship but on her sudden unexplained drop.


serisa... I experienced this only yesterday when my man had to go away on a sea trial. We hadn't done anything more than have some PE sex but it was enough to send me on a drop. You don't have to play hard to get sub drop



oceanwynds -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 7:40:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

thanks for the advice.  i think with the daughter thing the problem is she is my own age so perhaps understandably isnt going to be too comfortable with my relationship to her father


I was very close to the same age as my late hubby's children. You might wish to reconsider if that really is an issue.

I don't want a live in relationship. Sir and i have what we both want at this time. It works for us. You might want to reconsider if this is working for you. It is okay to look at it and question this. I do a reality check here and there at times for myself. Each time, I laugh and go oh Ocean you really have what you want. The best of both worlds right now. Be true to your own needs and desires, and dont settle for less, would be my advice.



InTonguesslave -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 9:25:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

Maybe you're experiencing sub-drop.



Yes and exactly!

The op never said she was unhappy with this arrangement nor did she say she wanted more from the arranged relationship. More to the point, she didn't actually ask for advise on her relationship but on her sudden unexplained drop.


serisa... I experienced this only yesterday when my man had to go away on a sea trial. We hadn't done anything more than have some PE sex but it was enough to send me on a drop. You don't have to play hard to get sub drop



im in with the sub drop vote.  you felt so happy and close and he filled you up emotionally and submissively.  to float that high there is a tendancy to drop like a stone, im surprised you havent felt it before.

we are all capable of adapting to something if its something that works for us, im guessing youve adapted to this way of life with him and you accept the daughter thing.

i dropped a bit this morning too - my Sir is away for a week and i felt a bit low.  i started over analysing and picking away at myself and i havent really snapped out of it yet. 

i think its all about the highs and lows that come from intense feelings - and it isnt about having a heavy session either, for me its just about being intuned to someone with a stronger will than mine and the acceptance that comes with that.  letting the ego go and in that void filling it with them, even when theyre not physcially around to fill it.  sub drop is right, i think of it along the lines of dropping altitude in a plane.  you suddenly plumment, it feels awful but then the plane levels out and youre ok again.

so big hugs and go with it - everything will level out soon. xx



serisa -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 9:33:42 AM)

thanks xxx   i think you could be on the right track... i have felt drop before but after 2-3 days, never the morning after so i guess this is why i have been feeling confused about it and wondering whats wrong



chamberqueen -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 10:17:08 AM)

serisa, I also agree about the sub drop.  I was in a similar situation and I found that a session normally kept me floating for 2 or 3 days but once in a while the morning after would be just miserable.  I found that it was worse at certain times of the month or if I hadn't gotten enough sleep.  Sometimes it is just our way of missing the person that we most enjoy being with.  In fact, for myself I found that sometimes the better the time was together the more I would miss him the next day.  Just pamper yourself a little and remember all of the wonderful things.  Soon your week will be up and you'll be with him again.



GabrielleSlave -> RE: feeling low (2/20/2009 10:18:36 AM)

Classic symptoms of sub-drop to me.  i can get that the second He leaves my house, or a couple of days later, just characterised by feeling as low as i could ever feel, but it coming out of nowhere...the plane analogy is spot on!  Totally unbalances me to the point where, now that He knows i get it, He will ring me, or text me to see if i have dropped and if i am ok.  Just love Him for that!

gabrielle x



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