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chattergadget -> new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 3:32:21 PM)

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?



Tine11 -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 3:38:33 PM)

your not a doormat. Everyone has something that just feels wrong to them. A master can not force you to do anything that is illeagal. Just follow your gut. I personally will only give control over to a master that i know that can handle the pressure of it, and deal with it responably.



Hallittlelolita -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 3:39:45 PM)

Yes rule number #1 Always obey you're Master whether you want to or not. You are there for His benefit not your own, you are to serve Him at His every beckon call. Plus maybe i could write you with some links that will be able to help you in your journey if wish. i wish you the best of luck[;)]

Sincerely Master Hal's lil cumslut slavegirl andie



BitaTruble -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 3:43:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


That is, generally, the idea, but there are exceptions to every rule. Outside influences often dictate the feasibility of practical application. (IE - feeling ill, work issues, childcare issues etc.) Refusal just because you don't feel like it though, or because you don't 'want' something that your Master wants, don't know a whole lot of Masters that will put up with that for very long. I guess it will depend how high up your priority list you decide to put your Master. It's my experience, most of them want to be pretty high up there. :)

Celeste



kyraofMists -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 4:08:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?



Submission isn't about doing what you want, when you want to do it. It is about doing what someone else wants when they want you to do it. If the request will harm your well-being, then that information needs to be shared with master. They can then decide what course of action to take.


Knight's kyra



IceyOne -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 4:14:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


As Kyra so eloquently stated, submission has nothing to do with what you want when you want, but with what your Master wants when he wants.



LadiesBladewing -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 4:14:33 PM)

This depends -completely- on the agreement that you have with your dominant. A servant in our household -is- required to serve, regardless of whether he or she "feels like it", since the process of yielding is the keynote of being a servant in our household, and, for newcomers to a service lifestyle, the process of learning to yield is -rarely- comfortable and often elicits feelings of resentment and resistance, and if those feelings are allowed to control the relationship and the service, it will not be a relationship of the depth and commitment that we require.

Notice, though, that I say "we require"... you may find that you want a completely different style of relationship in -your- situation. What is crucial is that you know what you are looking for, and seek out people who are on the same page. Be honest about what you want, and don't try to pretend that someone is a good fit if you know they aren't, in the hopes that once you are together, you can convince them that things should be handled the way you want.

Finding the right person may not be quick or easy, but taking your time will mean that you end up in the right situation for you.

Lady Zephyr



sub4hire -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 4:40:56 PM)

quote:

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


No it is not. That is why you negotiate prior and make sure that you find the right dominant for you before submission. You have the same wants and desires. He knows your limits and expectations.

When all has been communicated and agree'd upon. You submit and yes you are required to do as he asks. You have a mind, use it when searching to choose the best partner for you.



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 5:10:17 PM)

quote:

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


That is completely up to you. It's been my experience that having a master helps to broaden your horizons and you're going to end up doing some things you don't want to. However, there is a big difference between doing things you don't want to do and doing things you're genuinely not comfortable with. I don't always want to take out the garbage, but I do it anyway. I'm not comfortable with diving headfirst into the garbage and I wouldn't do it. It's a personal preference of where to draw the line. Make sure you discuss things you're unwilling to compromise on before engaging in a relationship.



kyraofMists -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 5:35:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IceyOne


As Kyra so eloquently stated, submission has nothing to do with what you want when you want, but with what your Master wants when he wants.



IceyOne,

On the surface that looks like what I said, but when you look at the connotations of the words used there is a fundamental difference between your statement and mine.

I said “submission is not about doing what you want”. To me, it means that the focus of the relationship is not on my wants and needs. This does not imply that what I want does not enter into the relationship. In fact, what I want is the primary reason for being in the relationship in the first place, my desire to submit to someone. That is a very big want that is being fulfilled for me. It may be that at any given moment, I do not want to submit to his will, and that is where my wants take a backseat to his wants and needs.

You said that submission has nothing to do with what you want. To me, this implies that the submissive’s wants are never considered or satisfied.

There is a subtle difference in the two statements but a big difference in what the two imply. If I am in a relationship where my wants are never met or never considered then I will not be in that relationship for long. I think that we were both discussing the same concept, just that the use of the word “nothing” can imply an absolute that doesn’t exist.

Knight's kyra




thetammyjo -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 5:39:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


I don't what the terms "true submissive" mean frankly.

However you have whatever duty you have negotiated to have. So be careful what you negotiate and with whom you negotiate. Play a lot and get to know yourself a lot, try out many things, but try not to feel pressured into giving away too much too fast. There are no universal time-tables for how much and how quickly things develop. The right master will know all of this and will also remind you of it if you start going too fast.

Have fun and be careful.



truesub4u -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 6:15:36 PM)

First off.... take it from me... don't say "True"......... LOL

This name got me in a lot of trouble... LOL



BitaTruble -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 6:37:01 PM)

quote:

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


The trick, of course, is in finding a Master who wants the same things that you do. :)

Celeste



IrishMist -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 7:18:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


It actually depends on the relationship between the two. If this was something that was discussed prior, then yes, it is the submissive's duty to do so, whether she wants to or not.



ehlovindom -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 7:34:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chattergadget

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?



Without sounding too flippant, forget the "true", define "service", and then consider this, if your master wants you to go and play in traffic, what would your repsonse be?



windy135 -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/19/2006 7:35:41 PM)

I would have to say... don't define what being a submissive is. Wait do research, read, get others opinions. You will come to learn that everyone has a different view. It's hard at first and even down the road when you are trying to figure out how you fit in this lifestyle. Be patient when deciding what you want. Because that is the most important thing... What you want.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/20/2006 6:04:32 AM)

I echo Bladewing and TammyJo:

As a submissive in a relationship, you do whatever it is that you agreed to do. Which is why you should know what you are agreeing to before you do so.



Evanesce -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/20/2006 6:27:43 AM)

quote:

i am new to this and have some questions. as a true submissive, is it their duty to service the Master whenever he requests regardless if the submissive wants to or not ?


If that's what's been negotiated, yes.

This question comes up fairly frequently, and the simple answer is you can choose to submit, or you can choose not to submit. But then the question becomes if you only choose to submit to those things you want, to what are you really submitting?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/20/2006 6:38:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
But then the question becomes if you only choose to submit to those things you want, to what are you really submitting?[/color]

Unfortunately this train of thought quickly tends to lead people down the path of "It's only submitting if you DONT like it."

Hey, what if a dom tells you what to do and you ALWAYS want to do it? On some level, we ALL want to ALWAYS obey. On another level, we might be pissed off at a particular order.

To me submission does not equal endurance or sacrifice, it means simply following anothers authority. Some slaves LOVE having their masters pick out their clothes for them. Does that mean they aren't submitting when the master picks out a dress for them?



OscarHargraves -> RE: new to lifestyle (1/20/2006 7:21:21 AM)

If you define yourself as a Slave then this is entirely true. However if you define yourself as a Submissive then you have choices too and one of those is to say no if you want too. (Just like most wives today.)



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