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RE: training question for all orentations - 2/23/2009 11:57:02 AM   
devotedOwner19


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thank you most of u at least for giving me alot of good and valuable advice i have a much much much more clearer picture in my head of exactly what will happen and why it should and yes ive moved away with the "fantasy" kinds of things and more into teaching here what i want and dont want along with intense play sessions these has given me many valuable insights not all of them i wanted but all of them are helpful. I am going to work on  my communication skills written at least im quite adept at makign myself understood verbly

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RE: training question for all orentations - 2/23/2009 12:14:37 PM   
SailingBum


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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Hold on a sec your all of 19 and yet you have this "vast knowledge" What the fuck over.  Why don't you forget all aobut training your "alpha slave"  My question to you is.  What in the hell are you doing getting involved in a serious relationship at 19????  At the very least get collage out of the way, who knows it may improve your spelling.  And the correct use of the "there" in your profile.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 2/23/2009 12:30:37 PM >


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RE: training question for all orentations - 2/23/2009 9:09:16 PM   
DavanKael


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The Story of O is one of the most disappointing pieces of D/s drivvle I've read; get better reading material.  Oh, and if you're referencing some off-shoot of said book, read the freakin' book, then improve your reading list, then do better not damage. 
  Davan

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RE: training question for all orentations - 2/24/2009 12:28:26 PM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: devotedOwner19

Howdy, im doing a four day training with my sub similar to training of O to mark her introduction as my perment alpha slave, however im at a lost for ideas of what i should do,not do,what works best or not for breaking/training of a slave any idea would be awsome


First off...some notes of caution from an "old fart".  You're 19, she's 18...you may wind up together forever but the odds are not in your favor at your age.  Due to that, I'd be a little leery of trying to "break her down", even in the sense I think...and you have shown through your subsequent posts...you are referring to.  Why not enjoy what she is right now and begin guiding THAT submission to the next level and, in doing so, guide her to a deeper level of trust in you?

Second...ways to make her feel more "submissive" to you, more devoted to you?  It varies from couple to couple in that each dominant is unique and, by extension, so is each submissive...especially to each other.  Take some time and reflect on what makes her submission special to her, what she seeks from it, what "flips her trigger" about her submission and what aspects of D/s don't do much for her...finally, think about the "why" behind all of those.  If you don't know these things about her, talking to her about that will, in and of itself, draw you closer.  That said...

I think that some of the suggestions that have been made have been good from a general standpoint and I offer up a few more.  The ones I offer are based on what I knew about the submissive(s) that I was going to be seeing for the first time and in whom I had more than a casual interest and was hoping to expand that interest in both directions.  These are all simple things...not real showy nor intense but they had the effect of emphasizing the D/s dynamic.

a.  Have her dress in a way that appeals to the man in you and the dominant in you.  But, this mode of dress should be something that appeals to the sexual, sensual woman in her as well as the submissive.  After all, if she is your girlfriend as well as your submissive, you want to try and hit a balance sometimes, especially in the beginning.  
b.  Set up a simple ritual.  You want her attention focused on you...the dominant.  Tell her that she needs to watch for a hand signal like spreading your fingers.  When she sees that, she is to spread her legs.  That is unspoken command on your part, unquestioning obedience on her part...D/s taking place without a big show of "Dom grunt harshly...submissive obey meekly".  (and before anyone takes me to task...I like the "Dom say...sub obey" occasions too but in this interaction, you have it at a quieter level that reinforces focus)
c.  Set up a simple protocol.  Have her address you as "Sir" or even by your name BEFORE she states what else she has to say.  Have her speak without swearing, even in a casual manner, when engaged in normal conversation.  If there is something she would like to do, have her state it in the form of a request rather than as a general statement...e.g.:  instead of "I need to go to the store", have her do it this way "Sir, I need to go to the store for wax to shine your halo.  May I go, please?"  This can be as strict as you like but I would advise you not to look for ways to make her fail on this, your first intense weekend.
d.  Put her on a leash.  If part of your submissive's desire is to feel owned or controlled or like a pet or even controlled in a physical manner, a leash is a great means of accomplishing this.  Have her be naked while you are clothed.  This sets up a vulnerability...she is exposed to you, you are not exposed in the same manner to her.  It encourages an acceptance of body image, especially if you make sure to praise in a sincere manner.  Have her head lower than yours, either by having her head in your lap while you sit on the couch or at your feet.
In this, as in the other two, it emphasizes and forces her to think of the delineation between submissive and dominant. 

Finally, please note that in none of the above have I stated that the goal is to emphasize your superiority.  You are not superior to her.  You are her equal, with a differing role.  You are her dominant, she is your submissive...equality within the inequality and inequality within the equality.
 

(in reply to devotedOwner19)
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RE: training question for all orentations - 2/24/2009 12:41:12 PM   
persephonee


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i agree with most of what CD has listed there....aside from the Spock greeting....but then, im kinda smartassey that way...
Happy Birthday, Sir....a few days late and on the wrong thread.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: training question for all orentations - 7/14/2009 4:30:01 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Joined: 11/26/2007
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To the OP:

If I'm reading you correctly, part of what you are talking about is about making manifest some sort of action or ritual to signify a relationship that is already there (I hope - I couldn't pull up your profile, so this is kind of a shot in the dark).

Most people have some sort of creativity.  Music, paint, photography, sewing, even things like building a website use creativity.  I suggest that as part of the ritual be the creation of a piece of art work of some sort that the two of you create together.  It can be something small like painting a rock or writing one word each on a baseball or something grand like a huge painting or a scrapbook filled with ideas, coffe stains, the bandana you covered her eyes with, whatever.  Create an item that shows the growth of the relationship or just that weekend.

Good luck,
sunny jo

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 7/14/2009 4:59:46 PM >


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RE: training question for all orentations - 7/14/2009 4:53:58 PM   
Missokyst


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Why does there have to be such formality?  I was doing this stuff since before I was your age and it just.. evolved.  From having what was the left of my virginity taken, to finding out how to make those marine boots shine, to finding out how much starch to use on his shirts, ect.  If you are talking about passion, that is another ballgame.  How hard it is to play for someone for days on end at your age, heck.. even at mine.  Play, tease, play, tease, have fun with it.  I have seen that movie O.  Blech.  I would get bored.  But if you make things fun, mixing up with relationship stuff, affection, torment.. yeah that is HOT.  I stayed married for 5 yrs longer than I should have because our sex life was wicked.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: devotedOwner19

okay ill try to clarify what im looking for advice on and maybe get rid of the many and assorted snarky comment im getting. im looking for advice and ideas on a four day maybe longer period of intense play and training along the line of she learning how best to please me also llooking to deepen the submissive dominat nature and to commerate something special to both of us with an new exciting memory yes im comparitvly inexperiance to some or even most however that doesnt make me an idiot im doing my reserach and homework now so ill have a better plan of action u can tell me that i have no clue but that not the case i have my own ideas i jsut wanted more opions and advice from people who might have experianced this before what worked best for them and what didnt

(in reply to devotedOwner19)
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RE: training question for all orentations - 7/14/2009 4:57:52 PM   
Missokyst


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When my ex husband and I were just starting to date he took me shopping.  I was used to covering up, he wanted me to look my age.  We went to the store and he picked out some clothing for me and made me come out and model them.  He chose which was going to be mine and kissed me with each blush. 
God I miss hot pants days.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

a.  Have her dress in a way that appeals to the man in you and the dominant in you.  But, this mode of dress should be something that appeals to the sexual, sensual woman in her as well as the submissive.  After all, if she is your girlfriend as well as your submissive, you want to try and hit a balance sometimes, especially in the beginning.  

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: training question for all orentations - 7/14/2009 6:29:05 PM   
GYPZYQUEEN


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Joined: 4/14/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
get collage out of the way, who knows it may improve your spelling. 
BadOne


I love COLLAGE  it's my favorite type of artwork



OP;!!!

Do you know what damage could be done following the Story of O crap?? as a starting out thing???



Do you know how much these women's bodies have already adapted to?
Do you want a girl who has no bowel control when you are done?
....cannot give birth? has a bruised bladder?
flesh deterioration? calcium desposits? scar lumps?
tears/fissures?/panic attacks? PTSD? do you know CPR?
her triggers?

Spend 4 DAYS TALKING>>
 
 EXPLORING BODIES....anatomy books..laughing..sensations
making plans..peeling fruit...loving and learning..
 
creating a foundation
 

GQ

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 69
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