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RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:13:11 PM

FelineFae

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the lighting is normally cast onto the walls, to be bounced in reflection of many mirrors you'll see about the place. there is also neon and blacklights. all this off stage is bright enough to mimic a candle lit room. it's soft and blurry in it's mix.

on stage, the lights are bright but still soft, then there is strobe and colors for different dancers, cued to music. lol,

hth- feline

< Message edited by FelineFae -- 2/24/2009 5:26:09 PM >

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RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:19:57 PM

InTonguesslave

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i just cant help feeling id look a bit of a muppet thats all - combine that with youre evil sense of humour and i arrived at a slightly cynical empass

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Post #: 22

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:25:49 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Years ago I taught self esteem classes, here is an interesting piece of info" men look in to the mirror and see what's right with themselves, women look into the mirror and see what's wrong with themselves.

You need to make the differentiation about what you want--you want the body you had when you were young: before you laughed a million times, cried a thousand tears of joy and sadness, before your UM suckled at your breast cooing in the contentment of love, before your stomach held and brought forth life, before your hips became the rounded shape of a woman, before your eyes sparkled with the knowing look of love, before your hands tied a thousand shoelaces, brushed back hair a hundred times, wiped away an ocean of tears, before your lips felt and delivered a mountain of kisses.

Now is that REALLY what you want? Or is your body a marvelous map of your life's journey?

Absolutely marvelous!!!

Hope you don't mind, but I've printed this out and it's on my bathroom mirror

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Post #: 23

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:29:23 PM

InTonguesslave

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mirrors!!! - the blindfold suggestion has suddenly become attractive.

thank you feline - that doesnt sound too scary - god how naive am i - i used to be a gogo dancer at pantilles outside of london, its amazing how a few years keeping chickens and having a kid takes all the risk out of a person - put me in wellies and a big floppy jumper and im thrilled to bits. poor Sir, he really has a job on his hands!!

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Post #: 24

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:33:07 PM

InTonguesslave

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Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Years ago I taught self esteem classes, here is an interesting piece of info" men look in to the mirror and see what's right with themselves, women look into the mirror and see what's wrong with themselves.

You need to make the differentiation about what you want--you want the body you had when you were young: before you laughed a million times, cried a thousand tears of joy and sadness, before your UM suckled at your breast cooing in the contentment of love, before your stomach held and brought forth life, before your hips became the rounded shape of a woman, before your eyes sparkled with the knowing look of love, before your hands tied a thousand shoelaces, brushed back hair a hundred times, wiped away an ocean of tears, before your lips felt and delivered a mountain of kisses.

Now is that REALLY what you want? Or is your body a marvelous map of your life's journey?

Absolutely marvelous!!! Hope you don't mind, but I've printed this out and it's on my bathroom mirror

yes, ive sent this and a couple of others to Sir - it is beautiful isnt it, made me cry infact, a little anyway. it hit me in a positive place.

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Post #: 25

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:36:27 PM

greeneyedreamer

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Well, I am older, 54 and shorter, 5'2" and Chubbier... (promise) I felt the same way. I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to just feel pretty and not just for me for Sir. He stopped the insecurity. He looked at me said you are beautiful, I will tell you that until you actually believe me and then some. I will let you know how gorgeous you are inside and out. How incredibly sexy you are to me. He picked out parts of my body- odd parts, the inside of my fat arms.... that he loves. Things I hated!!!!! I have accepted them. He told me not to change a bit for him. He adores me just the way I am. I love that man!!!!! He's done more for my self-esteem than any Shrink or person on earth. You can see it in his eyes, he adores me just the way I am... Unconditionally. wow... just wow!!!!!

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Post #: 26

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:40:59 PM

FelineFae

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being nude is nothing to be afraid of. the fact that your Sir wants to display you like this should tell you that he knows of your beauty and wants to show you off.

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Post #: 27

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 5:56:59 PM

Sexycelticlady

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I have suffered immensely from self doubt about my body, stemming from a period of time when I was clincally depressed. There are things you can to do work through them. Most women focus on the worst bits and they become enhanced in our minds out of all proportion.

First thing to do. Stop fretting. You are what you are right now, fretting about it is counter productive. Our bodies change as we age, some things for the better others for the worse. It is natural. We all have battle scars, as someone has already put so beautifully. Would you be repulsed by scars on another erson from surgery or injury? Or would you accept the scars for what they are? It is the same with all the marks and blemishes on our bodies.

Accept the point you are at now. Strip and stand in front of the mirror and really look at your body, all of it, explore it in your mind. My Sir made me masturbate in front of the mirror and this did a lot to help my self confidence about my body. The other thing you can do is take pictures. Either yourself or get a friend or your Sir involved and take some sexy pictures showing you the beauty that is inside you. I did this and was amazed at how I looked and I realised I wasnt as fat or repulsive as the image I carried around in my head about myself. You are beautiful. Your avatar on here is beautiful. Try to see that rather than the negative. Accept all of yourself, the good and the bad parts together.

I also agree with the club thing. Not only does getting naked in a club help you to confront issues but also you will see others at a club, you will see that we don't all have perfect bodies. But you will also see that it doesn't matter. The thing that struck me the first time I went to a club, was not the size of the people, not their shape, not how attractive they were, but how the beauty of the D/s interaction between two people scening with each other and focused on one another completely over-rides any physical appearance they had. It still strikes me when I go to clubs. The passion, the connection two people in a scene have always takes my breath away. It helped put things in a different perspective for me. I hope you do go to a club and get to experience that for yourself.

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 28

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 6:03:44 PM

Zechriel

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Good evening!
Oh this is just huge huh? I have this problem...noticed I said have not had. I still feel that way alot of times but most important is that I don't feel that way ALL the time anymore. It does get better. It has taken me over a year of being with Daddy to see thru this a bit. Boy, these Masters have such patience yes?

I went from 97 lbs to maternity and never got back. Still I got tummy pudge and thunder thighs and this stress rash that breaks out all over my body in hives. Not to mention A cup breasts-teeny little things. How could I EVER be in front of Daddy undressed?That was so not happening at first. I always covered up or turned away or hid under the covers-and he put up with that for a long long time to give me a chance to trust him at what he says. And it was super hard cause he was friends with a lot of 20 somethings with awesome bodies!! Once I got to trusting him a bit by being topless sometimes, he bought me a blindfold. So I can always ask for my blindfold if I get self conscious-and he always let me too. Once I got used to that...then I could ask but not always get my blindfold. I still cannot be completely undressed in front of him-like if he were to say "strip NOW!" there would be some hesistation, but if the lights were low and now that he has earned my trust in his words, I can usually feel okay with it-not truly liking it like flaunting my body but being okay with it.

Baby steps from your Master and really trusting in what he says is true, I mean everthing he says is true right? So why not what he says about your body? That's how I see it. And try reversing it as well, I mean Daddy has some issues with is body and other things but does that stop me from adoring him, loving him, or getting me all turned on? NO. So if I can say that and know it's true, then why can't he say that and have me doubt it? I hope that makes sense, I'm tired and got myself stuck in a snowbank in my car but yor post just hit my heart as I still have trouble with this. Good luck darling!
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 29

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 6:37:09 PM

PrincessEllie

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A negative body image is something that a lot of people have problems with, even me! and I'm 19! Here's the thing. At your age, and at any age, any man worth his salt DOES care about more than just the physical. Also, many men also don't notice things that women do.

I think MY stretch marks look bad, I hate the red bumps on my ass, I hate my acne. My Dom doesn't even notice.

Talk to him about how you feel. I bet he will tell you the same things.

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Post #: 30

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 6:47:32 PM

InTonguesslave

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- you know you lot are just great people. ive gone from big crisis day - horrible - to knowing i can do it if you guys can do it because youve felt what ive felt and youre getting there.

and now i wish i could rewind the evening and take back the anxt i dumped on him. msn crashed, then the phone died and it was left up in the air with me feeling crap and him probably wondering where we're at all of a sudden. so im going to send him some of these wonderful posts so he can see im trying to work through it with help from some amazing people who know exactly how it is.

lots of love to you peeps xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Post #: 31

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 7:21:25 PM

CatdeMedici

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oh and I forgot, remembering all the places he touches you when he needs reassurance.

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Post #: 32

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/24/2009 9:16:24 PM

DavanKael

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When one first starts hearing things like, "You're beautiful" and the like, it's so very easy to fly into years of negative scripting of "Nooooooo". Don't. Let yourself hear the compliments, develop your comfort with them, let them sink in. It's a challenge to do that; we're so often trained by society and sometimes others in our lives to conceptualize ourselves as otherwise.
As for your own self-perceptions and conceptions, challenge them. Do things, wear things, to accentuate your best assets and give yourself creadit when you look freakin' fantastic. When he wants to take you out and show you off butt-naked, unless he has a different preference, carry yourself with your best possible posture; shoulders back, head high, take pride in showing off what is his and in being who you are. And, I think that confidence in yourself doesn't have to mean that you're totally satisfied with every little detail but just because you're not satisfied with every little detail doesn't mean that you can not allow yourself confidence; don't allow yourself that kind of black and white thinking. :>
Remember: freakin fantastic! :>
Davan

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(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 33

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 2:57:57 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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Why are you basing your security/value as a human/slave on your body? What are you going to do when you're 52 and 62? What if your body stops working well, and you become ill? Why don't you trust your sir's words? If his word isn't enough, how can ours be? Maya Angelou, said something to the effect of "genorisity is as much about giving, as in learning to receive graciously." I would say that your panic is indicating that you are not graciously accepting your sir's kind words.

I've been where you are, when dating model type boys, than I say, "stop thinking stupid, and be your bad self." I'm happy to report that having expanded my thinking outside of the possibly useless/temporary superficial body, I'm a much better/happier person. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 2/25/2009 2:59:51 AM >

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RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 4:24:01 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineFae

try looking up nudest resorts and nudest camping online. see real bodies. families having picnics and playing volley ball. how to put this.... uhm, it kinda serves as a reality check that what you see on tv and in magazines is not real. Not what people really look like. pictures you'll see there aren't meant as wank fonder, it's meant to show things are they honestly are.
hth- feline

I'm glad your feeling better about it lally......I quoted FelineFae's post because being taken to a naturist beach was one of the most satisfying and liberating things, physically, that M has done with me. I'm 51yrs and have had 5 sproglings..I've got a bit of a saggy tum going on and I'll never be in love with it.

As I stood and cast my gaze around the naturist beach, while M dumped stuff in a pile and busied himself putting up the little sun shelter tent, I saw REAL people of ALL ages, shapes, sizes just doing their thing. I almost instantly stopped caring as M stripped without a care in the world and I slipped my clothes off.

In less than an hour I was running down to the sea, sploshing in the surf, swimming with M, queuing for icecreams, chatting to other people and finally.....I revelled in being starkers. It was NOTHING like I had imagined...In one amazing afternoon I lost the majority of my hang-ups about my body and appreciated quite a few of the good bits about it.

I STILL would like a nice smooth tummy but I also would love to have long, thick, wavy hair......which my daughter has..and guess what? She hates it! She also hates her stretch marks , her cellulite, her thunder thighs and her nipples that point downwards already and the fact that she's had a stroke. She's still a stunner.

It always helps to get perspective.

agirl

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Post #: 35

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 5:08:49 AM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12
Just stop it, and repeat after me "i am beautiful, i am worthy of love, i love myself".

Yeah. Or as Stuart Smalley says "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And, doggone it, people like me!"

Seriously, kiwisub is dead on. I went through the same thing. I was self-conscious at first but it didn't take me long to realize Master was serious when He said He loves me as I am. I don't understand it, but I accept it

. That's all you really have to do...................luci

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Post #: 36

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 5:57:54 AM

eyesopened

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When I start feeling down on myself I remind myself that if I am beautiful or not is not my decision. My Master decides if I am beautiful. Since He has never lied to me about anything, ever, why should I doubt Him and how dare I assume to be in charge of His opinion?

Sweetie, I'm looking face to face with my 56th birthday in 12 days. I am 12lbs heavier than when He first met me. The weight I can do something about and I've already lost 2lbs in the past week. The age, well, there's only one way to stop that and that alternative is unacceptable to Him.

If and when I can afford it, He has given me permission to get a little work done if it helps my self image but yanno, the best boost for self-image is a day at the flea market or saturday afternoon at Wal-Mart.

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RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 6:11:21 AM

starshineowned

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Greetings..

Soon to hit 43 in a few weeks, and like most that have posted thus far..it is a common issue thinking on these things even at times to mental detriment. Do know this though...Men do this as well. For all the times I stare at myself in the mirror and critique, and wonder why Master finds me beautiful to him..I snap out of it just as quickly when I recall the number of times I've seen him stand in that same mirror wandering where those damn wrinkles and hints of liver spots came from. I stare at him in the same instance and wander what the heck he's talking about because all I see is a Man that melts and turns me on to no end. So I have no idea what the heck Master is seeing in that mirror but he's down right hot to me, and I can't see those things he does. Must mean it's more than exterior that does it.

starshine

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Post #: 38

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 6:37:49 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

You need to find a DarkSteven post and read his sig line.

Someone call?

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 39

RE: i know, this has been discussed before.... - 2/25/2009 12:13:47 PM

tazzygirl

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if women stopped comparing themselves to other women, and simply enjoyed the men in their lives, we would all be so much happier. when a man can look at you naked, and still have a hard on... shouldnt that tell you something and does anything else matter?

i will be 43 in two months. sure, i wish i looked like i did at 20, even 30. but, i wouldnt give up a moment of the experiences i have had. let those little oung thangs with the hard bodies look great. in the bedroom with a man who loves me, they will never hope to compete! we have forgotten more than they will ever learn... and have no qualms about letting go and giving into that hunger.. at least i dont.

kneel between his thighs... wrap your lips around his cock.. tease him with wild delight.. then peek up and smile sweetly... asking.. who are you thinking about? i doubt he could have a coherent thought in his head. its not about what you look like.. its how you make them feel.

just my two cents worth

i adore that tag line DarkSteven!

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Post #: 40

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