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Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 9:01:09 AM   
DomThoughts


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline 		I have a friend who is paralysed from the waist down (no feeling or control), she can orgasm, but finds it hugely difficult to get there (for obvious reasons!) we have recently been talking about how orgasms on demand training could be used to help her find sex more fulfilling again.

she is also currently in a vanilla relationship, which makes it slightly more difficult for her to approach this from a D/s angle. it would be good to hear from anyone who has managed to control their own orgasms, rather than from exernal demand.

I would be interested in hearing any thoughts / views / experiences any body has had with these ideas.

regards,

Michael
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 11:21:55 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.

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(in reply to DomThoughts)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 11:46:06 AM   
prpackaged


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		The best sexual organ in the body is the brain (i.e. mind). Men are easy to induce as their brain is always trending toward that next occurence. I would suggest that she visualize anything that gave her orgasm before the paralysis. Her mind would take over and focus her on her goal and allow those parts of her body that still function to repond to the stimulus. Has she shared with you what has worked in the past? She might aslo work with her physical therapist to redo some of the stimuli that had worked in the past. Again, though, the mind is the best part to stimulate. She could do this without fully involving her vanilla partner as it would be something within herself.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 12:15:24 PM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline 		Michael,

First of all , let me say how lucky your friend is to have a friend like you who cares so much to gather some information to help her get more enjoyment out of life.

Due to my own health issues I have journeyed through many techniques, most of which can be termed "vanilla", but of course, anything can be changed depending on the partners.

I am going to Cmail you with links and book recommendations and just wanted to give you a heads up since I am taking a break and have hidden my profile.

Sláinte,
TT


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(in reply to DomThoughts)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:04:47 PM   
Knite064


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline 		Theres no doubt in my mind that" orgasm on demand" is very real and very possible .

But my instincts are telling me that on this occasion your good intentions may be flawed.
Whilst im not suggesting for a second that this lady is not as entitled to orgasm as the next, i do wonder if all your good intentions could actually have a detrimental effect on her sexuality.
Im a believer in exploiting strenths and using them to the benefit of both and perhaps her focusing more on areas of strenth than areas shes being reminded of that are not so strong is only adding to her woes.
As someone touched on,the biggest sexual organ in the body is the brain/mind and her focusing on allowing her mind to be free of the orgasm counter and allowed to open up naturally will result in (in my opinion) everything falling into place.

Build on her strenths and the weaknesses will soon be overlooked

Just an opinion and be well

(in reply to DomThoughts)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:06:00 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


I'm going to have to agree. It's just an ego trip for the male.


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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:09:45 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		There are some women here who claim they can do it, and I am personally not going to say  anything against their claims,,  since I am not them, and I have not experienced what they may have experienced.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


I'm going to have to agree. It's just an ego trip for the male.



< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 2/25/2009 4:12:48 PM >

(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:26:13 PM   
Sexycelticlady


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/20/2008
Status: offline 		I love how close-minded and dismissive people are on here if they personally haven't experienced something. It is not a male ego trip and it can be done. And yes, they are "real" orgasms.

Some women can orgasm on demand, but it takes training, a great deal of trust and it is not possible for all women. Each woman will differ in the triggers that lead to orgasm. I would say to you friend that when she does orgasm she should pay attention to as much of the build up to orgasm as she can. Try to repeat it as often as she can. As with anything practise is key and the more she works on it the easier it will become. Focus and concentration on different sensations she has above the waist could also help. I wish her luck :)

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:27:36 PM   
SageFemmexx


Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline 		I orgasm on command. I began doing it years ago while being so involved in role playing I forgot where I was because mentally I was in the moment. It is mind over matter. Over the years I have become so used to his voice command--it is now a simply of his voice and being told to do so, no matter where I am.

Since I came by it naturally I can't explain techniques. But I can vouch that it can be learned and there are those of us able to "cum on command".

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:38:21 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


Don't knock it till you've tried it, Cat

As for the OP, it's worth a try, I find that for myself it's more a question of headspace than physical stimulation.


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Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
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(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:46:05 PM   
Coldwarrior57


Posts: 297
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline 		Some people just like to rain on other peoples parade, I wish you and her luck.
Keep up the good fight.


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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:53:33 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


You obviously haven't met a woman who can cum on demand or you wouldn't have that opinion.

I met and played with a young lady that actually couldn't cum without the proper command. No matter what I did she couldn't cum until I gave the command  she had learned and THEN katy bar the door she really let go. It was an amazing experience.



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Mr. Pete

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 4:54:08 PM   
opposingtwilight


Posts: 684
Joined: 6/13/2008
Status: offline 		Party pooper or not, I do think that "cumming on command" is a bit of an ego trip for the male.  At one point in time, I could cum on command and I personally hated it. I felt like it cheapened the experience for me. I feel the same way about "mental bondage" .... Its just not as much fun, in my opinion.

That said, I also agree with Knite's concerns in regards to putting too much focus on what she is unable to do. I think that if she genuinely enjoys the training and having orgasms on demand, then sure it could help her out a great deal but I would advise you to be cautious about putting too much focus on the fact that right now she is not able to orgasm as readily as she might desire. It could just kill her desire altogether and then where would you be?


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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 5:00:16 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Quite frankly...I have more aromatherapy in my mind instead of such things...whilst aromatherapy is a topic some people like and others dont and as it doesnt work for everyone I know a person who is over 70 and is currently learning to walk again after she was left from a hospital being paralised neck down due to spinal cord compression. I am NOT suggesting aromatherapy due to her paralisation, as I don't know the reason of her paralisation and if it would be due to damage on the spinal cord then there would even aromatherapy not work (as far as I know). But I am suggesting in regards of stimulating her tummy area with it, as recently it did help another patient who used to have incredible smelly faeces...and since her tummy got rubbed we are less threatened from that smell anymore and it got much better.

Therefore I am wondering if maybe aromatherapy could simply help her to activate those orgasms parts a bit more again (as simply since I know that person who could only move her head last july) is now starting to walk again...I would put hope into that if I would be that person.

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(in reply to MrrPete)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 5:00:44 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


You obviously haven't met a woman who can cum on demand or you wouldn't have that opinion.




pretty not much My thing--so tell Me guys with no external stimulation--how do you know---
 
for real?

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 2/25/2009 5:04:47 PM >

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 6:02:49 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I can orgasm command.  MY command.  I am not talking about some guy's ego trip. Or his lazy desire to see me orgasm without doing any of the work.  Phht.  For me that is just as bad as someone patting me on the head and telling me, the grown ups are busy, now go play.   Not going to happen.
I do not cum at someone elses command.  I cum at mine.
I can cum while walking if I concentrate.  And less voluntarily I can cum if I find myelf waiting in a tire store longer than I should be there.  Those I can pretty much avoid by leaving my car and just walking out to shop in other places.
People who dismiss without proof probably also need to see smog to know there is air.
Orgasm on desire.. not command, is mental. 
That said, in the case proposed I think focusing on the almighty orgasm, or lack of instant orgasm is seriously infringing on the joyous ride to get there.
BAD move!
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok I am going to be the partypooper here, I quite frankly find the whole idea of orgasm on demand in women to be rubbish and dramatic theatrics.


You obviously haven't met a woman who can cum on demand or you wouldn't have that opinion.




pretty not much My thing--so tell Me guys with no external stimulation--how do you know---
 
for real?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 6:05:05 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		That Rocks!!! well said Missokyst!

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 6:07:53 PM   
Roselaure


Posts: 672
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		Well, sure it's an ego trip for the one doing the commanding.  But in my experience with cumming on command it's not a result of his wanting to see me cum without doing any of the work.  When it's happened there has been plenty of work on his part, both physical and psychological.  It doesn't happen every time, but when it does, it's pretty awesome.

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Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul.
-Virginia Woolf

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 6:09:21 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Have to agree with you there, even though i have met a few who attested to the fact that they accomplished the impossible, IMHO!

Of those who said they could orgasm on demand and who i got to talking to in depth, all admitted in the end that it was more a fooling themselves into NOT orgasming until the Ides were right, or the guy they were with was ready for them to cum, and then they just let nature take over.

A couple actually said that it was all an elaborate act, that they were more than able to mimic orgasm whenever they needed to. Having been there and bought the tee shirt when it comes to faking it, let me say that it can be very, very convincing, what with a good act and male ego combined!

Be fair, most people that i have talked to have always said that cumming on command is all about reading the signs and good timing, once those are mastered i suppose a fair proportion could be said to cum on command.

To the OP...

What can be done is to work with the mind and all the means of stimulation that work for the woman and be able to strengthen the connection between trigger and release, and be able to think out of the box when it comes to playing with sensation in stimulation.

Rather than pander to the theory of orgasm on demand i would recommend concentrating on the fact that orgasm can be reached without any stimulation of the pink bits, clitoris, vagina, those bits. And yes, we have had a wonderful time finding out just what rewards come from looking at other avenues to create sensation pleasurable and stimulating enough to bring on crashing orgasms without genital stimulation.

Playing a body, finding erogenous areas that can be experimented with, using implements that give differing sensations, playing with extremes of temperature, looking to combinations that uncover triggers that can be used, with practice, in a more condensed form to produce orgasm quickly, that is where i would say the best results will come from.

i wish those involved all the pleasure we had finding new paths to happiness!



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pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Waist down paralysis and on demand orgasms - 2/25/2009 6:36:09 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I have a friend who is paralysed from the waist down (no feeling or control), she can orgasm


If we are talking about the accepted medical definition of the female orgasm, there isn't any way that somebody with no nerve function below the waist can have a physical orgasm - the body's biochemical response to a sexual stimulus that leads to fertilization of the egg. There is a neurological biofeedback response between the brain and the sexual organs that cannot exist where there is no meaningful nervous system communication.

It is quite possible that she experiences, or has created for herself, a purely mental pseudo-orgasm, but that is about as far as that goes.

To stay in the realm of myths, statistically somewhere between a quarter and a third of all women never experience an orgasm (which does not mean they don't actually have a physical orgasm). These women, functionally, do not know what an orgasm feels like, and I think the general trend, though disputed, is that women that report having on-demand orgasms heavily fall in that category. An orgasm is a very simple biological function which is normally triggered by sexual intercourse between a male and a female, the only occasion where the physical orgasm has a function. It is a bit easier to establish whether a male has had an orgasm, but this really is an area of myths and fairytales - judging by the number of men who have asked me, over the years, if I ejaculate, since I had a vasectomy. And that is just a very minor myth... along the lines of "Viagra gives you an erection" and "Fosamax gives you strong healthy bones"...

(in reply to DomThoughts)
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