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RE: If you were.... - 2/28/2009 12:43:19 PM

CatdeMedici

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Someone on here had some very wide advice: the signs were there before the break up happened"--Our relationships here are no different than vanilla when it comes to "the end", "the breakup", "the exit stage right"--remember if it smells like poop, chances are it is.

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RE: If you were.... - 2/28/2009 1:08:12 PM

InTonguesslave

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you just feel it..., something isnt the same.

really what i remember the most was a gradual wind down - phone calls got shorter - conversations became more friendship based rather then D/s relationship based and the dynamic just slowly fizzled so that i didnt know for a time if i was supposed to just carry on without him whilst he managed his other life (divorce, son, health, work) or if he was infact pulling away slowly and weaning me off him. in the end it turned out that it was the latter - and my instincts were right.

but truelly - i put it to him and i asked him to tell me straight because the unknowing was awful.

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RE: If you were.... - 2/28/2009 1:49:53 PM

antipode

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quote:

IF you have been released, what happened right before?

Breakfast. Oh, no, wait, a flat tire. Oh, no, uh... whatever happened right before usually has little or no bearing on why a relationship ended. Is that why you are confused?

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RE: If you were.... - 2/28/2009 2:36:00 PM

DesFIP

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No, you haven't suddenly developed paranoia. What you are doing is trying to find excuses for what you don't want to believe.

If you were in general paranoid and prone to making false accusations, I'm sure someone would have told you this in the past. Since I strongly doubt that is the case, you need to listen to your feelings. You could ask him to talk honestly with you, but if you know in your heart he is just going to lie then why bother?

Since it's all over bar the shouting, why not be adult about it and tell him you know this isn't something that's working for him any more, and you wish him good luck in all your future endeavors. At which point he'll have a fit that you aren't interested in the drama, that you saw through him, and worst of all that he won't be able to picture you a broken hearted woman crying into her Ben & Jerry's. Oh yeah, and he'll be calling you up every few months after all his future relationships end.

Or you could keep sticking your head in the sand until he gets the fun of devastating you.

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