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Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 4:03:17 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
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You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....in like.....yet, you have 1 (or more) others that are in love with you....but the fire's not there for those....you want "the one"....the others aren't "standby's"...you've been honest....but it pains you to hold out...it feels like, through no intent on your part....you're hurting the others as much as you've been hurt...when you could have others that would treat you well...and you just want to have unbridled passion.

But there is none between you and the one you love....yet, the promise of those who want you is very real.

I'm rambling....guess I just wanted to spew.

I probably just made myself look foolish....don't answer.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/28/2009 4:05:53 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 4:20:30 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

Been there, done that...

Doobies :
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/music/watch/v298740gCcQ4mX8

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 2

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 4:38:57 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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It's painful.

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 3

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:09:39 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

I have no glib or smartass response---only to say---gees I don't even know what to say----been there, but don't have any advice--just virtual hugs

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 4

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:16:03 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Don't let one person hold your heart and chance at happiness hostage. Take back control of your life and nourish the relationships where you are valued and wanted.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 5

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:26:46 PM

sheyearns

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/2/2008
Status: offline

You eventually have to decide if you can honestly settle for what your being given without cheating yourself and what your worth. If you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and say, "Hey I'm happy with the way things are and wouldn't change a thing." Then i'd say well, your where you need to be. Passion is great and never forgotten once you have a taste of it BUT passion does not make a lasting relationship because it eventually burns down to embers that have to be nurtoured and flamed. i wish you the best of luck in everything.
tina

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 6

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:40:22 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

Thanks to everyone for their comments....I guess I'm just not having a great day with this whole thing.

I'm not exactly a "poor me" kind of guy...pretty much always up....but this just has me down a bit.

Thanks for the comments.

(in reply to sheyearns)

Post #: 7

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:47:20 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

This is where people get upset with me.

I value myself too much to continue on something like this. If this person you WANT does not see the value in YOU then why are you continuing to involve yourself in such a way?

If you are not worth their time then why are they worth yours? Is their time WORTH more than your? Perhaps there are such masochists who will use their heart in such a way I am not one of them.

I would push on to those who wish to be worth your time and find out if any of them are. I am not saying settle I would never say that, what I am saying is stop letting someone fuck with your heart and stop being your very own sadist. Find worth is yourself that they do not find in you and then set off for someone who values you as much as you wish to be valued.

Remember also that this road goes two ways.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 8

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:49:05 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjan
Doobies :
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/music/watch/v298740gCcQ4mX8

(Ouch).

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 9

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 6:56:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

This is where people get upset with me.

I value myself too much to continue on something like this. If this person you WANT does not see the value in YOU then why are you continuing to involve yourself in such a way?

If you are not worth their time then why are they worth yours? Is their time WORTH more than your? Perhaps there are such masochists who will use their heart in such a way I am not one of them.

I would push on to those who wish to be worth your time and find out if any of them are. I am not saying settle I would never say that, what I am saying is stop letting someone fuck with your heart and stop being your very own sadist. Find worth is yourself that they do not find in you and then set off for someone who values you as much as you wish to be valued.

Remember also that this road goes two ways.

Steel

I didn't say she doesn't see my value...or that she doesn't value me....just that she doesn't have the same passion I have...different personalities.

I guess that's part of the beauty of the whole world....everyone see's something different....

I was just hoping she'd see the same thing in me as I saw in her....doesn't always work that way I guess.

(Good advice though....appreciated).

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 10

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:00:32 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

WARNING: Arm chair psychology ahead!
Some people only want what they can’t have. If they get what they want, they lose interest.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 11

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:05:23 PM

LadyTeazer

Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....in like.....yet, you have 1 (or more) others that are in love with you....but the fire's not there for those....you want "the one"....the others aren't "standby's"...you've been honest....but it pains you to hold out...it feels like, through no intent on your part....you're hurting the others as much as you've been hurt...when you could have others that would treat you well...and you just want to have unbridled passion.

But there is none between you and the one you love....yet, the promise of those who want you is very real.

I'm rambling....guess I just wanted to spew.

I probably just made myself look foolish....don't answer.

I do not see where you have done anything to make yourself look foolish.

Relax. Close your eyes. Slowly take in a deep breath....hold it....now slowly let it out.

It is clear you are in pain, confused, and trying to decide what to do.

The only advice I can give you is to "know thyself", and do what is best for *you*. you are a man, who happens to be a sub. That does not mean that you suddenly have no wants or needs of your own. you do. you realize that they are not being met, and that is making you feel pain, and unfulfilled in your current situation. I suspect you already know what is the best thing for you to do, but you don't want to do it, or even acknowledge it. You deserve to be happy, and the situation you are in just isn't working for you.

The one you love does not return your feelings. Yet one who does/might love you, you do not feel the same towards. (which probably makes you feel guilty in some way, on top of everything else.) Tough position.

There is nothing wrong with wanting unbridled passion. I had it. I miss it. And I want it again, DAMMIT!! But as has been said, the passion will cool eventually. It takes both people involved to fan the smoldering embers, and make that passion burn bright again. And again. And again...

The decision you must make is certainly not an easy one. I wish you the wisdom to know what the right thing is to do for yourself. And I wish you the courage to do it.

_____________________________

~LadyTeazer~

"... I can bring you pain, I can bring you sudden pleasure..."

Please, help shelter animals. It will only cost you a few seconds of your time.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/tpc/ERA_110508_ARS
> Thank You!! <

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 12

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:05:54 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

I didn't say she doesn't see my value...or that she doesn't value me....just that she doesn't have the same passion I have...different personalities.

I guess that's part of the beauty of the whole world....everyone see's something different....

I was just hoping she'd see the same thing in me as I saw in her....doesn't always work that way I guess.

(Good advice though....appreciated).

What I meant was that she does not see you as a viable option for a partner or mate. I mean you can be great friends, but apparently at this point wanting her is hurting you and she doesn't return that desire.

When I say Worth and Value I mean as a MATE not as a person. If she cannot see you as a Lover and a Partner and you are feeling hurt because of this I would suggest that you accept your own worth and offer it to someone who DOES see it.

This girl isn't it, not right now and maybe not ever, maybe after a few years you could wear her down, personally however if wanting her and not being wanted back is hurting I value myself more than that and I could not do it.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 13

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:07:33 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

(Gawwwwd there's some very decent people on here!!!!!!)

Going to bed....don't want to deal with this shit today.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/28/2009 7:08:41 PM >

(in reply to LadyTeazer)

Post #: 14

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:07:47 PM

Racquelle

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

You are responsible for your own happiness. People your life with those who have earned their place, as much as you can.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 15

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:13:56 PM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

You have someone you're in love with....but it seems endlessly unproductive....hurtful....painful....she...in my case...(or he in yours) seems to be in an entirely different place...not in love....

Unh, have you told her that you love her?

K.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 16

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:14:57 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

Thanks to everyone for their comments....I guess I'm just not having a great day with this whole thing.

I'm not exactly a "poor me" kind of guy...pretty much always up....but this just has me down a bit.

You're human. A loving, feeling human being. And sometimes, that just hurts like hell. And when it does, there's nothing to do but let it run you over, and do whatever it's going to do to you.

Unlike the others, I don't have any advice to share with you, because I'm not in the best place myself right now. All I can think of to say is that I feel for you, and I'm sending good thoughts and positive energy your way. You're a good man, and I hope this comes to the best possible resolution for you and everyone involved as soon as possible. Hang in there, bro. It may not feel like it, but it will pass. And every day you have to endure it brings you one day closer to the day it stops hurting.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 17

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 7:57:16 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval
Don't let one person hold your heart and chance at happiness hostage. Take back control of your life and nourish the relationships where you are valued and wanted.

Wow. Wise and beautiful advice, Vendaval. Thanks for that

....................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 18

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 8:01:13 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I just ended something because I deserve more love. But it was good and fun in so many ways but it wasnt progressing. I cant say I am happy right now. I hope my decision proves to be the right one.

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 19

RE: Anyone ever been in this situation before? - 2/28/2009 8:08:55 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Meh, life can be complicated. And the more people you are juggling the worse it can be (evidently).

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 20

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