RE: young=Bad Dom, true?

RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (Full Version)

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OwnerHumiliator -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 1:31:42 AM)
your disagreeing with "probably" and "usually"? Really? So you're saying that a younger Dom is probably adept, and that a younger Dom is usually not bad? How interesting. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: OwnerHumiliator Experience is key with this scene. Younger = good? (i.e. adept) Probably not. Younger = bad? (i.e. not adept) usually. Older = better? Yes, certainly, if "better" means experienced. Older = bad? It's absolutely possible. Youth certainly has it's advantages, experience not being one of them. Live with it. I must disagree. There are exceptions to all things and I have seen some rope play by a young person... like you wouldn't believe. He was also one hell of a dominant at a very young age, smart, wise and the dude taught me a thing or two! How much experience does it take to spank an ass? How much to call the shots in their own life and the life of their mate? I know some amazing young people who have a great deal of experience. Not all... but some. Some people think that old people smell funny... and some do... you can't lump everyone together and not consider that life is filled with some amazing things and some of them happen to be some amazing young things. I know some cocky old folks... that shouldn't be allowed close to another human being and believe me... if I were allowing someone to get near me, it would be the young one over some of the old one's! Anyone that can float around a room with hot air... smells funny to me.

Prinsexx -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 3:13:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: devotedOwner19 Howdy it seems to me in general there seems to be the opinon that by the virtue of being young automatically makes inexperainced,bad dom,and or unable to make life decisions. And being older means automatically your experianced,more likely to be a good Dom, and or able to make life decisions. I myself disagree while i may be less experianced then someone say whoes been in the lifestyle 30 years that wouldnt make me a bad dom or unable to make life decisions. what everyone opinon and why? Not in my experience it isn't. Young means open minded, energetic, secure, virile, skillful and willing to communicate. Old mean set in ways, taking service for granted, non communicative and closed minded. That at least is my experience and i don't mean that to sound ageist. There are always exceptions. It's just about chemistry at the end of the day.

subtee -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 6:57:35 AM)
~FR Hi Princie, I hope this finds you well. On the other age thread some described women "of experience" as dried up old hags with horrible baggage...I wonder how this reconciles?

MasterDarkSadist -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 7:07:20 AM)
That is a general consensus around here that anyone who does not have umpteen years as a Dom is a horrid Dom and should be avoided at all costs. Nothing is worse than trying to find a partner around here when you are young and Dom. Do you see the paradox and the mutual exclusivity which exist in that statement? I'm 27, and I have more experience than many do at 50. Why? How can this be true? Easy, not everyone who is 50 has been practicing for as long as I have. Some have been practicing longer. Being young is attributed to being a crappy Dom, and that is probably one of the most pervasive, stereotypical generalizations that is made. Again, what makes a crappy Dom is a crappy person, not the number attached to their age. Honestly, many are missing out because they follow that line of thinking.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 7:09:50 AM)
I am not a big fan of huge age gaps i think ten years either way or a little more is ok but huge like someone in their 50s going out with someone in their 20s just does not seem work well for long term i am sure there is a rare few but when health issues accure that is when there is big problems I think people really do not plan for the future and that is a big problem when it comes to career job goals lifestyle changes just a thought it might work better older doms and younger subs but older dommes and younger males not so much cause men change as they get older and women do to

LovingDom86 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 12:26:55 PM)
I want to throw my two cents in and passionately disagree with the sentiment that age has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING:) Practical experience? Yes, of course; most 18 year olds have not raised children, let alone have not been able to invest too much time into a serious relationship. But to judge character with a number? How can we be so closed minded? This would mean, logically, that at the stroke of midnight on a young Dom's birthday (or the minute of the day He was born) they become different somehow; that the flipping of the scorecard from 19 to 20, or 27 to 28 which immediately puts them in your "range" is viable enough an event to constitute a judgement? I cannot agree with this at all. There are plenty, plenty of 18 year olds who have lived through 20 times more than plenty of 60 year olds, who have 20 times more maturity and wisdom, and who would subjectively make better Doms. Age is honestly the single most useless number in personal contexts that I can think of. Write someone off for being immature, write someone off for being an idiot, disillusioned, dishonest, untrustworthy; but write someone off for how many days they have been on this planet? A crime beyond humanitarianism, in my humble opinon. Write off a young Dom and you just may be writing off the right one:)

LovingDom86 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 12:28:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Not in my experience it isn't. Young means open minded, energetic, secure, virile, skillful and willing to communicate. Old mean set in ways, taking service for granted, non communicative and closed minded. That at least is my experience and i don't mean that to sound ageist. There are always exceptions. It's just about chemistry at the end of the day. I like this way of thinking very much! Kudos to you, and may you enjoy the fruits of your open mind!

kidwithknife -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 1:05:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Sorry Honsoku but I stand by my statement. I wouldn't give my car to a kid with no mechanic training. I wouldn't take any family member to someone who wanted to be a doctor but had no education and training. I use an accountant for my taxes, not an art student who has no head for numbers. True. On the other hand, I'd far rather see some 18 year old with passion and drive knock out three chords on a cheap guitar, then sit through the Rolling Stones going through the motions. It's the old craft versus art divide. Experience is far more important for the former. I think which BDSM is depends on the details. Ropework is arguably far nearer craft, in the sense that if you don't know what you're doing no amount of passion is going to carry you through. Dominance in general is more art, for me at least.

LadyPact -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 1:24:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LovingDom86 I want to throw my two cents in and passionately disagree with the sentiment that age has ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING:) Practical experience? Yes, of course; most 18 year olds have not raised children, let alone have not been able to invest too much time into a serious relationship. But to judge character with a number? How can we be so closed minded? This would mean, logically, that at the stroke of midnight on a young Dom's birthday (or the minute of the day He was born) they become different somehow; that the flipping of the scorecard from 19 to 20, or 27 to 28 which immediately puts them in your "range" is viable enough an event to constitute a judgement? I cannot agree with this at all. There are plenty, plenty of 18 year olds who have lived through 20 times more than plenty of 60 year olds, who have 20 times more maturity and wisdom, and who would subjectively make better Doms. Age is honestly the single most useless number in personal contexts that I can think of. Write someone off for being immature, write someone off for being an idiot, disillusioned, dishonest, untrustworthy; but write someone off for how many days they have been on this planet? A crime beyond humanitarianism, in my humble opinon. Write off a young Dom and you just may be writing off the right one:) Checking your profile only confirmed My thoughts.

EmergentDarkness -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 1:41:36 PM)
Experience does not equal mastery. Having said that, as so many others have and will, i believe that many of us are born into our sexual natures. I, myself, was born and gradually evolved into my desire to submit men and dominate women. At 19 i knew my sexual and social nature was different, and i was actively exploring how i might discover the best way to manifest my desires. maturity is nothing more than being at peace with all these discoveries. It's not necessary to slap down youth in order to feel the full measure of years well lived and maturity gained through the explorations of that very youthful arrogance. Learn, if you will, from those who've passed this way before. And, if it's in your nature to blaze your own trail, then do so with enthusiasm. Just remember that respect for self and others, whether they be submissive or dominant, older or younger, will set you apart from the masses and ultimately determine your worth, not only in others' eyes but one day in your own. HAVE FUN! E/M

LovingDom86 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/29/2009 8:11:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Checking your profile only confirmed My thoughts. And your response has only confirmed mine:) How wonderful!

LadyPact -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/30/2009 5:33:46 AM)
Here's the thing...... I honestly don't think threads of this nature do one bit of good for D types/Tops that happen to be younger. There are at least two threads on this forum that are over a hundred responses long about why some subs prefer older and/or more experienced Dominants. In the same amount of time that some folks are saying "give a chance so you can see what I can do" the other group is doing it. They aren't saying that someone might be passing up a great find. Instead, they ARE being that great find. There are a number of young D types (and s types but that's another thread) both male and female, under the age of 25 that have come to be known on these boards that I respect. If they tend to pop up on threads like this, they just serve as the reminder that not all people in the age range are the same. The content they add isn't a complaint or a rant. They display their maturity by accenting their attributes, rather than what they don't have to back themselves up.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/30/2009 6:16:00 AM)
I don't thik it makes any difference how old you are in relation to how good or bad a Domme/Dom. You are. I think it's more about who you are as a person;your background,upbringing, level of integrity (or lack thereof),how sincere you are about the lifestye and-so-on. I don't think age has a major baring on these things.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/30/2009 6:27:42 AM)
you know see this age thing crop up a lot i think we need some serious R AND D ON this lol bring out the fact finding books and say yep by what percentage makes a great dom at what age do people truely mature it is all about the numbers i read that in dr suess

EchoMirage -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (3/31/2009 2:51:20 PM)
when i was 24, i had a 3yr relationship with a 48yo sub. as many others have stated, age doesnt equal skill or experience. i first started dabbling in the lifestyle at 21. i heard all the bullshyt people have said about being young, too young to be dom, blah blah. if you are who you are inside, hearing those shallow, closeminded people say that only makes it feel even better when you show them how wrong they are.

twisteddoll -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (4/2/2009 10:34:16 AM)
Someone said a couple of posts up about older means being set in your ways. I agree. I don't think just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be a good Dom. Some people tend to mellow-out as they get older too. "Lose the spark" or whatever and they aren't as daring as they used to be. But I don't think that's just with Dom's, I think that's just with age, period. I think there a positive aspects to being young and old and the opposing sides just need to appreciate each other. Everyone was young once, and everyone will be old.

DesFIP -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (4/2/2009 11:23:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kidwithknife quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Sorry Honsoku but I stand by my statement. I wouldn't give my car to a kid with no mechanic training. I wouldn't take any family member to someone who wanted to be a doctor but had no education and training. I use an accountant for my taxes, not an art student who has no head for numbers. True. On the other hand, I'd far rather see some 18 year old with passion and drive knock out three chords on a cheap guitar, then sit through the Rolling Stones going through the motions. It's the old craft versus art divide. Experience is far more important for the former. I think which BDSM is depends on the details. Ropework is arguably far nearer craft, in the sense that if you don't know what you're doing no amount of passion is going to carry you through. Dominance in general is more art, for me at least. I like that, "art vs craft". A good way of putting it. However although dominance may be more art than craft, the life decisions that need to be made are more craft than art. We're trying to decide if there's an economical way to repair a cabana that's in poor shape. He has the final say, he also is a fully trained engineer with several years practical construction experience running his own firm. Most of the decisions that come up around here are craft, not art. Car repair, first car for a teen, repairing vs replacing things. For us, a D/s relationship involves all of life, not just bedroom play. And thus, I need someone I can trust to make sensible, smart life decisions.

kidwithknife -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (4/2/2009 1:22:45 PM)
That makes perfect sense and I think you're probably right that older Doms are more likely to have the experience for 'craft' decisions. Although there are obviously exceptions on both sides- a 19 year old with children is going to know more about childraising than I am. At the end of the day, as always, it comes down to compatibility and having realistic expectations of each individual relationship. Personally, I know fully well I wouldn't be suitable for a submissive who wants a Dom to handle the finances, simply because I'm rubbish with figures. On the other hand, I'm completely comfortable helping someone with an university dissertation, which not everybody would be.

LovingDom86 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (4/2/2009 1:50:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kidwithknife On the other hand, I'm completely comfortable helping someone with an university dissertation, which not everybody would be. Prepare for an onslaught of young college girls! lol:P

Guilty1974 -> RE: young=Bad Dom, true? (4/4/2009 10:31:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kidwithknifeRopework is arguably far nearer craft, in the sense that if you don't know what you're doing no amount of passion is going to carry you through. True. Yet on the other hand, one good workshop can teach you enough safety stuff to be able to develop your floor work on your own. One or two additional workshops might be necessary to learn advanced bondage and partial suspensions and be comfortable with them. And you don't need to be 45 to take two or three workshops. I know excellent riggers of 25 and under.

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