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RE: When people do stupid things - 3/2/2009 8:12:09 AM

Coldwarrior57

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Joined: 12/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

And there is a fine line between "support and love" and "enabling".

When it reaches a point where it's sucking you dry emotionally and they just never learn, there does come a time where your own self-preservation has to kick in, and, as NV said, wish them well.

Amen! lady

if they do it again and again and again , some times you have tell them you go down that road again, and you go alone. I wont ride in to help. you go and come back alone.

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RE: When people do stupid things - 3/2/2009 9:30:55 AM

MissMorrigan

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There comes a point when you need to take care of you or you'll risk emotional/psychological stress to yourself. Sounds harsh, but have been there/done that, refuse to allow it to occur again and recognise it for what it is. I will always provide support, but the moment I withdraw it is when my benevolence is abused and unfortunately, dramakings/queens have a tendency to bite the hand that is extended to them. They feed off their negativity and that from others, remove them from it and they don't know how to cope. It's wretched having to watch a person work on a loop, but to be honest with you, they are usually fully aware of what's going on and have no inclination to want to alter their lives. I have a dear friend whose entire life was abusive, they walked on eggshells growing up, anticipating the next onslaught and that, sadly, modelled their future. Their life now is the exact same, walking on eggshells until the next crisis (which occur frequently), friends rally round, support is provided and despite them being fully aware just how harmful it is, they would rather live with the devil they know than face a scared future of the unknown. At least with the 'devil' they can anticipate and adjust. They have no intention of changing. These days, I accept them for who they are, but there is a cut-off point, that cut-off point is when the situation could become detrimental to my emotional well-being.

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RE: When people do stupid things - 3/2/2009 9:46:00 AM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

what you said so true and the more you try to talk with them the worse it gets almost like they want to be depressed. Weird as it seems

trying to talk them out of ..can also be the cause.... much like teenage rebellion and wanting to prove you wrong

I learned that trying to talk my son out of something.. would actually push into doing what I felt was wrong for him. When I left him alone to figure out himself he did better

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RE: When people do stupid things - 3/2/2009 9:50:01 AM

MissMorrigan

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Yep, that's a very good point, Maya.

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RE: When people do stupid things - 3/2/2009 5:25:04 PM

LATEXBABY64

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you know what is sad you can see it i mean really see it It is not like they try to hide it almost like a sick twisted enjoy ment they do leave a lot of people hurt or in a bad way it takes a very strong person to be around them they suck the life force right out of ya on so many levels

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