RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt (Full Version)

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persephonee -> RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt (4/3/2009 4:47:14 AM)

Yannow, Celeste, i agree wholeheartedly with what you said, but i have a question about it.

i was i suppose, stuck in my grief for an extended period of time...i think it was a tad too long, but in the end, it seemed to be just long enough.

How do you know if you just need *that* much time...versus being stuck and not making progress?

Remember, i was literally not moving forward at all for at least 4 yrs...in a row...it was ungodly long...but now i seem to be doing well...

Just wondering if you had a thought on that.

perse



Vanityfull -> RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt (4/3/2009 11:00:13 AM)

"First off I don't think one can put a time limit on grief and healing.
If you lose a husband of 50 years, then you shouldn't be expected to be over it inside of a year.

What is important is if you are progressing or are stuck in your grief. As long as you are progressing, then keep going. When you are healed you will try again."

i agree full heartedly! I find the rejection of a time limit to be some of the best advice on the greiving process. some of the most painful things i have heard from a freind is telling me to suck it up as things happened awhile ago and i should be done the process by now. thats crap, we have alot of emotional weight on things and it sometimes takes alot to get that weight of when its fallen on top of us, the only thing to consider is that we might be looking for pity parties or be stuck in the past which can be very hard to get away from, moving on is good but running away and shrugging your issues off can be very destructive and lead to some ugly walls to say the least.




DavanKael -> RE: Building Walls: Fear of Being Hurt (4/3/2009 12:29:29 PM)

Thanks for the replies, folks.  :> 

Someone said:  What is important is if you are progressing or are stuck in your grief.

This was the sticking point for the biy I was speaking of.  He had his heart broken over 6 years ago (He's only 31) and is still so submerged in that that he refuses to get beyond a certain point emotionally.  It is sad. 

  Davan



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