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when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 9:46:20 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

    tonight while i was in chat having casual conversation with others someone PM me. Everyone can see on my profile i belong to Master Jay. I know there are alot of master J's on this site. I asked for conformation to be sure it was my Master. I want to do the right thing here and i am only committed to my Master, i will do or atleast try anything he ask of me. ( i wanted it to be him so bad ) I am suppose to do what he ask with out question. Trust in him that he wont hurt me in any way. At this time he is out of the US and i can not talk to him till he comes home.
    i know the element of the unknown is supposed to be a turn on, what this person wanted to do tonight i had never experienced and wanted to try, but only would i do this for my Master and only with his guidance and approval. If this was my Master did i kill the moment by asking for conformation? Am i to cautious?
    To add a little back ground about our situation, Master has stripped me of the privilage of wearing his collar back in October. i am still owned by him and wear his chain around my neck but i no longer have the privilage to wear his leather collar. i made the mistake of letting a man put his hand on my shoulder when we went to Tybee Island for Masters birthday, and i didnt move it away.
     My question is- do you think i made the right decission tonight? What would you have your sub do? i know this will be a topic for discussion when Master comes home.

Post #: 1

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 9:51:17 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I believe that with the info you have given that any advice you would be given here you would also not be allowed to take.

You are asking Masters, OTHER than your own what We think is right for you.

Do you see the Flaw in that, that is with what you told us about losing a colar because someone put their hand on your shoulder.

Honestly do you think this thread would be something that he would approve of?

Seriously?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 2

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 9:53:59 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

I could say I am Jack fucking frost online and you have no way of knowing. Asking for proof if you are not sure should be standard procedure.

Mike

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 3

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 10:02:45 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

C'mon, you really think, or know this wasn't your master in the chatroom, right?

Otherwise, why would you still have doubt after you supposedly confirmed his identity?

Re: the hand on the shoulder thing, I think you're getting a bum rap. Your master should have removed the man's hand, or told him to remove it, rather than letting you leave it there only to blame you later and use it as a reason to say you can't wear his collar. That was a chickenshit thing to do. That kind of setup for failure would make me mad. Why did you put up with it?

I think, regardless of whether it was him in the chatroom or not, he'll use the incident as a setup for you, similar to the incident w/ the man's hand on your shoulder. You will be blamed and punished, even if it was really him, in the chatroom. He might even want to use it as an excuse to release you, saying you went behind his back and you're not trustworthy. Why would you want to be with someone who jerks you around, and sets you up like that?

I could be wrong, this is just my intuition talking. With so few facts about your situation, the best I can do is give you my gut feelings. Think about it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 4

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 10:07:03 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

Thank you SteelofUtah for that reply. Yes you are right, sometimes i like to know how others might handle the same situation. i understand that my Master has his own rules and expectations of me and i will discuss it with him upon his arrival home. Maybe i did post this on the wrong forum, these are the things i seem to be struggling with.You have made it clear to me "when in doubt keep your mouth shut untill you can discuss it with your own Master." thank you again for bring that to my attention.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 5

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 10:09:13 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

I am Glad that I could help. Your Master has a good girl he will see that over time, just remember that the way a things can be preceived can be an unintended issue.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 6

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 10:40:28 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

thank you dreamer for your insight, i never actually confirmed the identity of the person in chat, the info he was passing on, he could of gotten from my profile. He just left when i would not come across and do what he wanted. i dont think for a minute my Master will set me up for failure, he might test me to see if i am following his commands while he is away. He doesn't need a reason to release me, if he doesnt think its working out he would say just that. In the beginning he explained to me no one was to touch his property without his permission. I should brush them away if they tried, what about the times he cant be with me to remove someones hand. He has been leaniate with me on a lot of things because this is my first M/s relationship. It was my own lack of obedience that i lost my collar, but i will earn it back....and why do i do it......because i love him, and he is a good and caring man and i believe he has earned his title as Master.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 7

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 10:49:35 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Fair enough, OP.

I apologize if I came off as overly snarky or negative. You just wouldn't believe the huge numbers of foolish women posting on these boards lately, not seeing the train wrecks that they're making of their lives.

Good luck then, and my advice:

What good are the chat rooms doing for you, really? How about staying away from them for a while and just posting on the boards here until your Master gets back? You are welcome, come on in! The water's fine.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 8

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/2/2009 11:44:40 PM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Master has stripped me of the privilage of wearing his collar back in October. i am still owned by him and wear his chain around my neck but i no longer have the privilage to wear his leather collar. i made the mistake of letting a man put his hand on my shoulder when we went to
Tybee Island for Masters birthday, and i didnt move it away. My question is - do you think i made the right decission tonight? What would you have your sub do? i know this will be a topic for discussion when Master comes home.

To lose His collar this easily made me go hmmmmm....what when you really mess up - what will He do then? And i also feel a collar should mean a LOT more than being used as a threat....

quote:

tonight while i was in chat having casual conversation with others someone PM me. Everyone can see on my profile i belong to Master Jay. I know there are alot of master J's on this site. I asked for conformation to be sure it was my Master. I want to do the right thing here and i am only committed to my Master, i will do or atleast try anything he ask of me. ( i wanted it to be him so bad ) I am suppose to do what he ask with out question. Trust in him that he wont hurt me in any way. At this time he is out of the US and i can not talk to him till he comes home.
i know the element of the unknown is supposed to be a turn on, what this person wanted to do tonight i had never experienced and wanted to try, but only would i do this for my Master and only with his guidance and approval. If this was my Master did i kill the moment by asking for conformation? Am i to cautious?

If this was Your Master - He is either seriously insecure - or sneaky....looking for things to use against You. And if you denied the Other ones "offer" - you did nothing wrong. Especially since you lost His collar because one of his friends touched you (it was his bday-party, i just assume it was a friend of his), and i feel it was HIS responsibility to tell this person to please not touch you. IF you had said anything - i wonder if your Master had used that against you also.

Somehow...losing your collar in october - because a man put his hand on your shoulder - 4 months ago - seems overly harsh - and where were your Master? you are, afterall, the submissive here - and you are His responsibility and the one He should keep safe and protected.

_____________________________

.Forgiveness is the fragrance a flower leaves in the air after being crushed underfoot.

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 9

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 12:00:58 AM

DeathinRevelry

Posts: 33
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

I'd say that you did absolutely nothing wrong in asking for confirmation, and I know that I'd much rather see my pet be overcautious. But this does seem uncomfortably like a trap, and that's a bit of a red flag to me. Have you had to pass "tests of loyalty" before?

The incident with the collar is ultimately between you and your Master, but as you mentioned it on the boards, I will say that it seems a bit odd, losing your collar over something so small. Now, I know everybody has a different take on collars, but most of the people I know treat them pretty seriously- they aren't offered easily or right away, and they aren't lost over minutiae like a hand on the shoulder. And I agree with the above poster's question: if you can lose your collar over a triviality, what happens when you really screw up, as all of us, being human, eventually will?

_____________________________

We raise bloody hands to the sky and scream, not from fear, but from joy... The cathartic moment when we plunge our hands into the hot blood of our enemies and there is no civilized thought to stop us from dancing on their graves - Laurell K Hamilton

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 10

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 4:44:54 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I once had someone approach me via chat pretending to be my Master, even using his screen name. I saw clues right off the bat that something was wrong and ended the chat very quickly. My Master praised me later for not falling prey to the sham. I share this to show that there are those who will try to trick a sub for their own pleasure. If you had any doubts at all then it was a good thing to let them be known. Even if it was your own Master after all it showed diligence on your part for keeping yourself only for him.

_____________________________

(in reply to DeathinRevelry)

Post #: 11

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 12:22:34 PM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

There is an apparent discrepancy between how much instant obedience he demands and how fiercely he reacts with jealousy. How would he have felt if you didn't verify him, and "gave it up" online to some guy? I think you took the lesser of two evils.

All you're trying t do is do right. He'll see that in time. Or he's a blind jerk.

Everyone is entitled to their relationships, and they may hold different values and expectations than I do. I consider the expectation to succeed when two options are reasonable and valid, but one is wrong, unfair. It's a 50-50 gamble. I don't spank Pet for picking wrongly on a coin toss.

You asked if you were too cautious. Clearly you had motivations for the action you took (verifying said Master J). When this issue comes up for discussion, explain your thought process. Additionally, it should be noted that strict, unwavering, unthinking obedience does not clash with verification. Before unlocking all that awesome submissive power, one must provide the key. (The key is being the real master J).

Right now I can say "I'm Master J*, just a different screenname I keep to spy on you. Get naked and on all fours." You'd have good reason to say "prove it" before engaging in unquestioning obedience.

*My name is actually James =P

Edit: added some stuff and fixed "smart-type" mistakes.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 3/3/2009 12:54:22 PM >

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 12

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 12:36:20 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

My rule of thumb is singular and unwavering.. "When in doubt; DON'T!" There is always time to ask questions and clarify the situation and if that time is not granted and unless it is a life threatening situation then walk away.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 13

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 12:47:57 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I would laugh at any man I was dating who tried such a flimsy excuse to punish me. I think men who're secure in their domination and abilities to Dominate their one, don't need such flimsy reasons to withdrawls uses of things. They'd be mature enough and secure enough not to be threatened by such things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

To add a little back ground about our situation, Master has stripped me of the privilage of wearing his collar back in October. i am still owned by him and wear his chain around my neck but i no longer have the privilage to wear his leather collar. i made the mistake of letting a man put his hand on my shoulder when we went to Tybee Island for Masters birthday, and i didnt move it away.

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 14

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 12:53:16 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

To lose His collar this easily made me go hmmmmm....what when you really mess up - what will He do then? And i also feel a collar should mean a LOT more than being used as a threat....

quote:

tonight while i was in chat having casual conversation with others someone PM me. Everyone can see on my profile i belong to Master Jay. I know there are alot of master J's on this site. I asked for conformation to be sure it was my Master. I want to do the right thing here and i am only committed to my Master, i will do or atleast try anything he ask of me. ( i wanted it to be him so bad ) I am suppose to do what he ask with out question. Trust in him that he wont hurt me in any way. At this time he is out of the US and i can not talk to him till he comes home.
i know the element of the unknown is supposed to be a turn on, what this person wanted to do tonight i had never experienced and wanted to try, but only would i do this for my Master and only with his guidance and approval. If this was my Master did i kill the moment by asking for conformation? Am i to cautious?

If this was Your Master - He is either seriously insecure - or sneaky....looking for things to use against You. And if you denied the Other ones "offer" - you did nothing wrong. Especially since you lost His collar because one of his friends touched you (it was his bday-party, i just assume it was a friend of his), and i feel it was HIS responsibility to tell this person to please not touch you. IF you had said anything - i wonder if your Master had used that against you also.

Somehow...losing your collar in october - because a man put his hand on your shoulder - 4 months ago - seems overly harsh - and where were your Master? you are, afterall, the submissive here - and you are His responsibility and the one He should keep safe and protected.

I have to agree with all that badlilthang has said and want to add this. If he did not want someone else touching you, he should have walked over and said something to this other male. Believe me if someone was putting their hands on my sub in a way that made me feel uncomfortable, I'd be over there letting them know in the blink of an eye.

Now onto the chatroom, he could be testing you, more likely it was a fake trying to chat you up. My advice is to leave the chatrooms alone. I am sure that there are other more productive things that you could be doing then sitting in a chatroom with a bunch of horny net geeks looking to wank off. Unless of course your Sir has ordered you to be there, in which case you will have to use your own best judgement.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to badlilthang)

Post #: 15

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 3:30:19 PM

natasha66

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

My rule of thumb is singular and unwavering.. "When in doubt; DON'T!"

Good rule to live by if you ask me.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 16

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 4:29:47 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hallieB

My question is- do you think i made the right decission tonight? What would you have your sub do? i know this will be a topic for discussion when Master comes home.

We can't answer that for you. What you need to do is ask him "Should I always assume it's you and then risk obeying someone you don't want me to obey and possible harm or should I serve you by making sure that it is you?".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to hallieB)

Post #: 17

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/3/2009 5:37:50 PM

hallieB

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/7/2008
Status: offline

i want to think everyone who replied to my post. i tend to agree with the majority here and after thinking about this alot today, i am sure that was not my Master. That was a fake that had stumbled on my profile and thought he was going to pull a fast one.
i would like to clarify, the incident with Master stripping me of my collar, he was completely justified, not only did i disobey his instructions but afterwards when we discussed it i was not as respectful as i should have been, only those worthy will wear his collar.
And some of the most valuable advise i have received from you here on the forums is: stay away from the chat rooms they really are a waste of valuable time. Thank you all once again, it has been a pleasure reading your comments. :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 18

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/4/2009 1:47:22 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
All you're trying t do is do right. He'll see that in time. Or he's a blind jerk.

I think my answer boils down to what HeavansKeeper wrote. If your intentions are good, he should be pleased with your effort - you were protecting his property by not giving it up to some unknown screenname online. Unless you're together 24/7 he's going to have to trust your judgment to do what you think he wishes you to do. I sense your nervousness in your post, and feel for your uncertainty - that's an uncomfortable place to be.

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)

Post #: 19

RE: when in doubt what should one do? - 3/4/2009 2:35:41 PM

umai

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/30/2008
Status: offline

hello

(in reply to mc1234)

Post #: 20

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