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Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/4/2009 6:42:44 AM   
LadyExcrutia


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I am curious about something, due to a personal experience I am having. Is it possible that even today, some cultures use corproral punishments as a tool of discipline for the development and the education of its male citizens as they grow up and that it can produce them to later on become Subs or Masochists just because they need such practices as a manner of release and a form to balance, by counterweight, their own male aggressiveness when they become professionals and then BDSM becomes not a fetish or kink, nor does its activities, but a part of their core and their mind so as to be unable to find the balance in their life if someone isn't doing it to them ?

My own experience with my husband is that in his country, females are the disciplinarians of the household. I am living the situation right now through his family and from what I have seen, a young man in this early 20's can still get a nice set of slaps from their mother, even some nice whacks with a cane or rod or some lashes from a belt if she's mad enough to let her hand fall on him, so I am wondering if it can be true that as he says, a good session with a whip is a way to blow off steam the same as if he climbed a mountain and hit on the sandbag or got a massage or such things, as I see that our relationship is more a way for each other to find balance, only his angle isn't even BDSM based, I am just the force that balances his, whether through BDSM or other venues.

Speaking as someone who knows her way around broncos and mustangs, I'd say that his personality is the same of a rodeo horse....they can trust you and obey you enough to run on a race or jump on the obstacle course, even dance to the music and the crop or spurs, but they need a nice rodeo from time to time to let it all out and also need me to crop and spur them as bad as I can to reach, and push them as close to the edge as they can be stretched out to, in order for them to get a benefit out of it, in a very odd way to release steam much like some other animals need.

What is the opinion of a sub ? I am interested in knowing.

< Message edited by LadyExcrutia -- 3/4/2009 6:45:48 AM >
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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/4/2009 9:26:26 AM   
VampiresLair


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia

I am curious about something, due to a personal experience I am having. Is it possible that even today, some cultures use corproral punishments as a tool of discipline for the development and the education of its male citizens as they grow up and that it can produce them to later on become Subs or Masochists just because they need such practices as a manner of release and a form to balance, by counterweight, their own male aggressiveness when they become professionals and then BDSM becomes not a fetish or kink, nor does its activities, but a part of their core and their mind so as to be unable to find the balance in their life if someone isn't doing it to them ?

My own experience with my husband is that in his country, females are the disciplinarians of the household. I am living the situation right now through his family and from what I have seen, a young man in this early 20's can still get a nice set of slaps from their mother, even some nice whacks with a cane or rod or some lashes from a belt if she's mad enough to let her hand fall on him, so I am wondering if it can be true that as he says, a good session with a whip is a way to blow off steam the same as if he climbed a mountain and hit on the sandbag or got a massage or such things, as I see that our relationship is more a way for each other to find balance, only his angle isn't even BDSM based, I am just the force that balances his, whether through BDSM or other venues.

Speaking as someone who knows her way around broncos and mustangs, I'd say that his personality is the same of a rodeo horse....they can trust you and obey you enough to run on a race or jump on the obstacle course, even dance to the music and the crop or spurs, but they need a nice rodeo from time to time to let it all out and also need me to crop and spur them as bad as I can to reach, and push them as close to the edge as they can be stretched out to, in order for them to get a benefit out of it, in a very odd way to release steam much like some other animals need.

What is the opinion of a sub ? I am interested in knowing.


I don't agree with most of your theory, primarily because I was never physically punished by either of my parents and I turned out to be submissive and a masochist.  Lots of men experience physical punishment and they don't turn out masochistic or submissive.  If that is what primarily caused everything, then you'd see a lot more people into BDSM than exist currently.

Now, I that in some cases there may be a bit of a correlation between some discipline people get from their parents and them then becoming masochistic in later life.  Correlation, however, does not equal causation.  There are many other possible explanations and I just don't find this one valid.

It's always good to try and find answers though, I've just never thought there was one simple, easy answer for this.

DV's Fox




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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/4/2009 9:46:24 AM   
RealSub58


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This "theory" is totally as off the wall as saying molested girls grow up to be masochistic slaves.
 
I am sure you have not studied enough diverse cultures to make the "conclusions" you seem to arrive at.

Totally daft. 

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/5/2009 4:36:01 PM   
need4femdom


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there is certainly not the one and only way to be found that fits to everybody. anyway, i would assume it depends on how much you like pain and if you are able to enjoy the punishment when receiving it, as a bodily sensation.
i am not part of this section of men. honestly, i hardly can bare pain. the first time i was told by my lady she will hit me with her riding crop exactly 56 times, my coolness ended embarrissing early with number 3 of 56. more and more i was begging for mercy and suddenly my eyes have been full of tears. i failed in stopping their permanent flow - until about fifteen minutes after my lady ended with her punishment. she unlocked me and without using any words i felt on my knees - of course i did this before, but this time i did it without any thought about it, i just felt like it has to be that way, it seemed to be the most natural behaviour - no show, but a necessity. after giving me that first severe punishment there was a new power being linked with my lady - to know she could use this power whenever she likes had exactly the effect of me accepting her much more as the lady i have to obey. there was much more respect if felt towards her.
when remembering my idea about this always tended to provide her with additional metres of power - but of course the effect could be described as well as an effect that happened primilary on my side with being humiliated and positioned on a lower level.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/5/2009 4:46:25 PM   
LadyExcrutia


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Well, excuse me for breathing but I just wanted to know. It seems liek my husband's culture is based on a lot of militaristic discipline and they truly use women as disciplinarians as stern and brutal, in my opinion, as the Royal Navy officers who flogged their sailors in the 18th century.

You haven't seen a person under age show scars on his body from getting lashed at with a belt like it is a small cut from a fall on his bike. Until then, don't presume to know why someone would cook up a theory or call her daft. Or is it normal for men in your country to show you how they got lashed at when they were at high school yet, and bear scars to this day as bad as if they were cut up so abdly as to need stitches on a small spot ?

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/5/2009 5:07:05 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyExcrutia

Well, excuse me for breathing but I just wanted to know. It seems liek my husband's culture is based on a lot of militaristic discipline and they truly use women as disciplinarians as stern and brutal, in my opinion, as the Royal Navy officers who flogged their sailors in the 18th century.

You haven't seen a person under age show scars on his body from getting lashed at with a belt like it is a small cut from a fall on his bike. Until then, don't presume to know why someone would cook up a theory or call her daft. Or is it normal for men in your country to show you how they got lashed at when they were at high school yet, and bear scars to this day as bad as if they were cut up so abdly as to need stitches on a small spot ?


Different cultures do things differently. Are you aware in a particular culture (the name of which I'm forgetting but I'll dig up the book and cite source if you really want) it's a sign of arousal if a woman bites off bits of a man's eyebrow?

I'd love to hear the theory that comes that. Personally, I think you are a bit silly to take one culture and attempt to apply it to all men.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/5/2009 5:20:02 PM   
feydeplume


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I guess my first big question would be (duh) "and how often and much are the female children hit and under what circumstances". Some cultures are more physical than others and different rules apply for when a girl or boy becomes a man or woman. Full stop. In many cultures around the globe, the "issue" of BDSM as we see it in America doesn't even come up since it is either already in practice in the marriage bed/dynamic or because the culture is structured in such a way that many of what we call kinks are sexual certainties for them.

Sexual Anthropology is an AMAZING study and you can get your hands on lots of books through your local library. Start with Google and see where it takes you.


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If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 1:08:24 AM   
VanessaChaland


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What country is your husband from?

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 10:00:43 AM   
SailingBum


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What solar system did you just beam down from to come up with that crazy wild ass theory???

BadOne


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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 12:33:02 PM   
InTonguesslave


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im not sure that being beaten is the premis for becoming a sub - plenty of people who enjoy S&m arent necessarily submissive or dominant in their every day lives. 

sadomasochism is certainly one part of many D/s and Ms relationships but not the only part by any means - many many subs are here simply because they need to be in a dynamic where pleasing and giving pleasure to their partner is understood and not seen as something to be abused or taken advantage of.

and im sorry, i have to just say this, ive tried not to, and deleted it about 7 times now - but beating and spurring a horse on isnt getting the best out of it - the poor bugger is doing its best - yes! - to get the hell away from you!

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 4:38:39 PM   
Huntertn


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Give her a break folks..You can't say a lot of subs..even a few masters enjoy a flogging or a good caining,..Many have said they need it to destress...maybe what she is seeing is part of that?  For me thats not true..In fact, I tried it...I litterly broke that old wooden bed apart and pulled muscles doing it..if others hadn't stopped me that Domme would have in real trouble..I had to pay for the bed..lol..and I told her I was sorry..She said " She never seen that happen be for "  shugs

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 5:11:27 PM   
LadyExcrutia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

What country is your husband from?


Well, he was born in Panama and his mother is Venezuelan but he was raised in Colombia which was the country where his father was born and raised all his life.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 5:14:26 PM   
LadyExcrutia


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I'd love to hear the theory that comes that. Personally, I think you are a bit silly to take one culture and attempt to apply it to all men.
[/quote]

Ok...well, I am not much for theories on biting off eyebrows, but I am not silly, I just think i saw a small pattern. I am not a racist, but I sometimes get confused with his culture and some things so I try to make sense. For example, up until a week ago, I didn't know how bad men were raised in his country as to be able to show their scars from their school years. I also saw this week that it is insulting for most latinos not to be confused with other countries, but with Mexicans, like you called an European person "Nazi" today if he was bald or shaved off his head. I am learning, every day.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 5:16:08 PM   
LadyExcrutia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

Give her a break folks..You can't say a lot of subs..even a few masters enjoy a flogging or a good caining,..Many have said they need it to destress...maybe what she is seeing is part of that?  For me thats not true..In fact, I tried it...I litterly broke that old wooden bed apart and pulled muscles doing it..if others hadn't stopped me that Domme would have in real trouble..I had to pay for the bed..lol..and I told her I was sorry..She said " She never seen that happen be for "  shugs


Thank you, Hunter....finally someone who sees part of my original intent's meaning.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 5:17:10 PM   
LadyExcrutia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

What solar system did you just beam down from to come up with that crazy wild ass theory???

BadOne



Not a theory, but a question..but perhaps it's the same one where someone beamed up your brains and left your sorry carcass here to pester me.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/6/2009 8:21:58 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


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Many subs we've met admit they respect women in authority who were strict to them growing up, like their teachers, mother, grandmother, female cops, etc. (But not abusive, that's a different story.)

The more strict we are with slaves the more they like it.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/12/2009 7:22:35 AM   
Dastan


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Miss Academy, you are correct in some way. Lady Excrutia, please contact me and I can help. I am Colombian. I read previous posts from you. Your husband and I served in the same corps by what I read and can explain more to you about what we saw. Read mine to understand him.

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/12/2009 2:40:17 PM   
Lashra


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Well I do not believe this theory because if it would be true for male subs then it would be for female subs as well. So that means anyone that takes a thrashing as a child and onward is submissive. Hmm nope I do not see it working that way. But everyone is entitled to their opinions.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/13/2009 8:39:55 PM   
Gage46Bstn


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I don't think this is universal by any means but I have found many men who enjoy spanking protocol and corporal punishment were "spanked" and  subjected to corporal punishment during or after puberty. My theory is that they sexualized this activity at a very young age. I get mail from from many heterosexual males who are looking for this experience. Sexual to them but often have no interest in any homosexual interation which makes sense.
As consenting adults your interests are your own. My opinion is corporal punishment is not an appropriate means of disciplining children or young adults. They aren't old enough to enjoy or undertand it. It is also illegal ( at least here it is).

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RE: Corporal Punishment turns men into Subs? - 3/13/2009 11:01:40 PM   
WestBaySlave


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 I'm submissive; I'm masochistic... and was never spanked as a child. My mother was the least authoritarian parent imaginable, and I was generally made to take responsibility by being treated as a responsible equal in the household rather than being threatened or beaten into submission. I never got into the trouble a lot of boys around me did, and all in all, had a totally un-rebellious adolescence.

The fact that now, as an adult, I want an absolute authority figure governing my life really shouldn't make sense if parental authoritarianism makes men submissive.


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