RE: No longer sure where I fit

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RE: No longer sure where I fit - 3/5/2009 8:01:08 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

For example, I was chatting with a lady a couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden she asked permission to go to the bathroom........
It was a complete turn off.

She was likely in a prior relationship where it was required or as others mentioned she may have done as a means of being polite ... a little communication can go a long way into resolving something as minor and you may have assumed/read more into that need be

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RE: No longer sure where I fit - 3/6/2009 8:20:02 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Hell, I don't fit anywhere, and I don't care. I am me and happy with that. I don't care what others think, they can like me or not. I will always be me and be true to who I am. Don't worry about where you fit, there are as many ideas about fitting in as there are folks trying to fit.

(in reply to LostLovedKnight)

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RE: No longer sure where I fit - 3/6/2009 8:50:50 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LostLovedKnight

My desires do go beyond just the love of kinky sex as by nature I do have a dominating personality and I always have for as far back as I can remember. However, it is not as in depth as to the need to control every aspect of someones life.

You are by nature, dominant, from my understanding.
As is my Sir.
I by nature am submissive, but I can whine, be a bit bossy, be emotional and at times overbearing.

My Sir does not want a bossy, nagging, demanding, know it all, "my way dude" woman by his side.
He wants a strong, career orientated, college educated and common sense intelligent woman who by nature might fall apart easily esp with finances, funny, carries her own opinions and yes does emote and cry at times.

He is of the opinion that too many dominant men still allow their wives to walk all over them.
If he was willing to be submissive, he'd still be married.

So I would suggest that you find a submissive who you wont need to micromanage, can hold her own end of a conversation, is intelligent, educated ~~ all those other qualifications you want, and know that in all things and ways, you are partners.
You discuss things like civil adults and when it comes to the last say, you are in control. You provide guidance, direction and counsel, as well as discipline when it is needed, wanted or requested.

Then you are dom of your entire turf instead of just the bedroom.
One dom years ago explained it this way ~~ I would be head of the household and you would be heart of the home.

I don't understand why this is such a hard concept.

(in reply to LostLovedKnight)

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RE: No longer sure where I fit - 3/7/2009 9:15:15 AM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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There can be a pervasiveness of dynamic without anything overt (Ie: by my interpretation, you'd be Dominant in or out of the bedroom in that instance) or you really may be Dominant strictly in a sexual sense (Ie: there is no dynamic beyond the bedroom). Neither is inherently better or worse, simply a matter of what works best for the parties involved.
That having been said, I pondered the whole begging permission to go to the bathroom thing. I once had a job where, on the first day, I needed to use the restroom. When I got back, the office manager was at my desk tapping her foot and asking where I'd gone. I politely explained my need to use the facilities. She informed me that I needed to ask. I laughed. She looked serious. I realized she was. I happily left that jobvery promptly. I don't do micromanagement well.
Taking that into relational parlance, I tried to imagine such a thing from each side of the kneel. If a D-type was expecting me to ask permission to urinate or defecate, unless it's a short-term punishment, that person and I simply wouldn't mesh. Flip-side. I am having an s-type ask to use the facilities, that's going to be a punishment to them and to me (As any good punishment is something that gives both parties pause, imo) and they'd better learn whatever needs learning 'cause that sort of minutia isn't going to float long-term. Regardless of side of the kneel (or no kneel at all), I feel confident in my ability to tune into a partner as well as to communicate. Micromanagement just sucks.
Davan

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Post #: 24