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RE: The Averages - 3/6/2009 10:53:16 AM

WestBaySlave

Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline

My real time experience is quite limited - two, none of them fully "established" relationships, whether you call it collaring or ownership or something else.

The first was my intital foray into BDSM, lasted about six weeks, one overnight scene and meeting real time, the rest of it all long distance. It ended badly, but despite my inexperience, I don't blame myself in this case. The worst I was guilty of was misplaced enthusiasm.

The second was a longer situation, about two and a half months in total, one month living together, and only about two weeks of that a full-on 24/7 slave situation.This was both more and less serious - I didn't have a romantic connection to him, unlike the previous one, but we made a serious attempt at a relationship. There was no spark though, and we frustrated each other terribly. Fortunately we both had good enough sense to end it while we were still on good terms.

I've also had several more casual scenes with a couple dominants, but sparks failed to fly and we turned out incompatible, so I don't count those.

The rest has been online, but considering that I didn't get involved in this scene real-time until the end of last March, it's been a busy year.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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RE: The Averages - 3/6/2009 11:23:11 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

my current Dom is the only one

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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Post #: 22

RE: The Averages - 3/6/2009 5:04:39 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I've had 3. The first was my first Dom, husband and father of my kids. When he died, I had 3 little ones and jumped pretty quick into the next one. I must have jumped with my eyes closed because that was a mess. It lasted 3 years and that was probably 3 years too long. The last one lasted about 5 years. His job took him West and I had kids and and family and I had moved a couple of times and finally felt settled with the kids and didn't go with him.

What did I learn? That I could stand on my own 2 feet. To have patience and listen to my "inner self". I also learned not to second guess myself. I don't look back and wonder "what if?".

(in reply to RainydayNE)

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RE: The Averages - 3/6/2009 8:00:30 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

Attached to? Two. One collared. The other not. Both were real time.

I started out online, chatting and getting very attached to a Dom, who never wanted to move to real time. It ended when I realized that I needed real time, and I moved on from there.

Between the two I was attached to, I dated and with some I played ... never found the compatability, passion and depth I was looking for.

I stopped looking, and was contacted on cm by someone who intrigued me with his uniqueness. And we've been moving forward, taking things one step at a time. Has my search criteria changed? I've become more open as to age - and have become more attracted to men who are older. There's just something about that that I enjoy. I'm less tolerant of the idiots who just want someone to hit their knees whenever they want a BJ. I know the experiences I enjoy and wish to continue enjoying and pushing further, so I also look for someone with the imagination and experience and desire to help us enjoy that.

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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RE: The Averages - 3/6/2009 9:04:44 PM

DVsFox

Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
How many Dominants have you been attached to?
Were they real time, online, or a combination?
What if anything have you or did you learn from these situations?
Has your search criteria changed?

One
Real Time
I've learned a lot more than I could possibly write about in one sitting.
N/A

DV's Fox

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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Post #: 25

RE: The Averages - 3/7/2009 5:36:16 AM

michelleryder

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline

Three for me also. First 2 for just a few months current for close to 5 years. All realtime. I learned the first two were wrong for me and current Master wasn't.

(in reply to DVsFox)

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RE: The Averages - 3/7/2009 7:58:57 AM

serisa

Posts: 219
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline

just one relationship, uncollared for a couple years plus. like velvettears i gave my love and trust far too freely to someone who doesnt love me back & to whom my wants, needs and desires were not valued. i hope one day i can freely love with a open heart again but next time it will have to be earnt. so that is my lesson learnt, only to give love to One who deserves it and actually WANTS it.

i dont think all men even want love, i wont give love again to someone who wants to use me in a vanilla way

(in reply to Chgolostnlooking)

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Post #: 27

RE: The Averages - 3/7/2009 8:23:21 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

before Daddy, i was attached to 2 dominants though i wouldn't actually call them "dominants". they were kinky (married) tops looking for kinky sex. both were started off as online and then real time however there was no D/s in the dynamic. what i learned was that i was more than a sex object and being forced into something i didn't want to do/be wasn't for me.

now i'm attached Daddy for almost 3yrs. even though it's ldr and online - it fits perfectly for me.

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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

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RE: The Averages - 3/7/2009 11:00:49 AM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: attachezmoi

I guess maybe this makes me a subby slut, but in 6 yrs of play, have never agreed to be collared or owned. I have formed attachments, doms I have seen for years now, but I am not owned and am certinaly free to seek out others. It's a personal choice each has to make, for me this way works.

Ditto for me! (except R. and I tried an M/s dynamic, but when it didn't work out so well, we returned to D/s.)

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to attachezmoi)

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Post #: 29