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IA417 -> submissives (3/5/2009 7:05:06 PM)

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???



YoursMistress -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:05:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


Gag them.

yours



feydeplume -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:09:28 PM)

*snort*

you mean because they forgot to add the "Sir" or "Mistress" or "Lord" or "UberDommlyone"?

when someone says no, it means no. step away, back up, stop, and respect the laws even if you don't (seem to) respect your lover.

duh.



catize -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:16:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


 
I’m not really sure what you mean with this question.
I am submissive and the word ‘no’ has not been eradicated from my vocabulary.
 For example: 
D.: Are you going in to work today?
s.:  No.  It’s my day off.



CatdeMedici -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:18:48 PM)

Depends on what they say no to, what the agreements are-- was it no to a second helping of vegetables or no to a gangbang--big difference---just because they are a submissive doesn't mean they don't have rights



Phoenixpower -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:19:45 PM)

Agree with catize...depends on the reasons for "no".

I can have stubborn moments where I might not be bothered (and hope to get away with it) but also can stumble at something which is not my cup of tea and then I say and mean no. Therefore depends on the situation...being a sub is one thing...being a doormat another...



BeIgnited -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 7:20:23 PM)

First question: Is the submissive in question your submissive?

Second question: What are they saying "no" to?

Third question: Why are they saying "no"?



Hissltora -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 8:45:50 PM)

Here's my take on it, for what you will:
 
Stop, respect the no, and maybe enlighten yourself a lil more. Reading your profile, i'm getting the weirdo vibe. There is much more to a submissive than having to do everything you say, get beaten, and have no say in their life. If she said no, there's prolly a reason, and you might want to know what it is.
 
Questions that give more detail get more detailed answers.
 
 



WestBaySlave -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 8:57:05 PM)

    Is the activity in question you ordering them to take out the trash... or ordering them to attach their nipples to a car battery?

   Context is everything.



DarkSteven -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 9:56:48 PM)

Depends. If no is their safeword, honor it.  If they have another safeword and are saying no as part of resistance play, push on.



YoursMistress -> RE: submissives (3/5/2009 10:36:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Depends on what they say no to, what the agreements are-- was it no to a second helping of vegetables or no to a gangbang--big difference---just because they are a submissive doesn't mean they don't have rights


I'll pass on the veggies tonight Miss Cat.

yours



allthatjaz -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 2:17:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

  Is the activity in question you ordering them to take out the trash... or ordering them to attach their nipples to a car battery?

  Context is everything.



PMSL
From someone who is always looking out for new ideas [;)]

Maria



DesFIP -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 3:31:56 AM)

No, she's not your submissive. She told you no, now accept it. And for the really hard part, learn not to ask for the wrong things. Think first, and then think it out some more.

In my entire life I have met only one man who really does think everything out and considers the impact of what he wants on the people who depend on him. I'm his submissive. I've never been any one else's and I never could be anyone else's. Because I will never meet anyone else like him. He's worth submitting to.

Are you?



Kana -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 3:34:26 AM)

To quote Pearl Jam...
"When she say's no, you better stop."



corsetgirl -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 4:23:22 AM)

If this was online and in an IM conversation, then the submissive has every right to say no considering that person is not owned at all.  I would call this the negotiation stage and have had to turn down quite a few dominants who I felt would not be a compatible match for me.  In my opinion, submission is not automatic for some doms who demand a sense of entitlement. 

I am seeking a dominant rather than someone to just play which makes me very selective.



eyesopened -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 5:42:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: corsetgirl
I am seeking a dominant rather than someone to just play which makes me very selective.


Even seeking someone just to play, it's probably a good idea to also be very selective.

To answer the OP, my definition of submission is to yeild to the authority of another.  Based on that definition, when a submissive says no, she most likely does not recognize someone as having authority in that particular situation.  What that person should do it look at themselves and seek out what leadership qualities they lack.  But what others have said, context is everything.



littleone35 -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 8:40:47 AM)

During play i have said no but no is not my safword and Master know i don't really mean i usually say it when i an half out of my head.  Master and i negoiated my limits before we ever scened.  If Master bought something out of left feild and we had not negoiated it and it is something i can't bring myself to do you are right i will say no.  As others said though it depends on the context. The other day Master asked if i wanted  part of his snack i said no.

Matt's littleone



akisha -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 8:52:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


Gee I dunno, think about it for a minute you might come up with an idea like....

Stop and ask them why they said no?  There usually is a reason. Then make a "educated" decision and go from there.

It would totally depend on why and what she or he was saying no to.

D-  do you like milk in your coffee?
s- No
D- Why not?
s- I'm lactose intollerant

or

D- i'm going to suspend you and blind fold you then cut all your cloths off and whip your nipples
s- no
D- What do you mean no???
s- you whip my nipples and i'll bite your nuts off. This is a non agreed to activity.

See many reasons why she might say no *giggles*



velvetears -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 8:58:05 AM)

Maybe do a little self reflection and consider why she said no to you 



corsetgirl -> RE: submissives (3/6/2009 9:36:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Even seeking someone just to play, it's probably a good idea to also be very selective.

You have a good point and with that in mind, I also believe in safety, too.



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