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submissives - 3/5/2009 7:05:06 PM   
IA417


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:05:55 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


Gag them.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to IA417)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:09:28 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		*snort*

you mean because they forgot to add the "Sir" or "Mistress" or "Lord" or "UberDommlyone"?

when someone says no, it means no. step away, back up, stop, and respect the laws even if you don't (seem to) respect your lover.

duh.


_____________________________

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If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:16:52 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


 
I’m not really sure what you mean with this question.
I am submissive and the word ‘no’ has not been eradicated from my vocabulary.
 For example: 
D.: Are you going in to work today?
s.:  No.  It’s my day off.


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(in reply to IA417)
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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:18:48 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Depends on what they say no to, what the agreements are-- was it no to a second helping of vegetables or no to a gangbang--big difference---just because they are a submissive doesn't mean they don't have rights

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to IA417)
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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:19:45 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Agree with catize...depends on the reasons for "no".

I can have stubborn moments where I might not be bothered (and hope to get away with it) but also can stumble at something which is not my cup of tea and then I say and mean no. Therefore depends on the situation...being a sub is one thing...being a doormat another...

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(in reply to catize)
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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 7:20:23 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		First question: Is the submissive in question your submissive?

Second question: What are they saying "no" to?

Third question: Why are they saying "no"?

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 8:45:50 PM   
Hissltora


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/23/2007
Status: offline 		Here's my take on it, for what you will:
 
Stop, respect the no, and maybe enlighten yourself a lil more. Reading your profile, i'm getting the weirdo vibe. There is much more to a submissive than having to do everything you say, get beaten, and have no say in their life. If she said no, there's prolly a reason, and you might want to know what it is.
 
Questions that give more detail get more detailed answers.
 
 

_____________________________

In love and light,
slavetora

OAOB: Sir Nick

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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 8:57:05 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		    Is the activity in question you ordering them to take out the trash... or ordering them to attach their nipples to a car battery?

   Context is everything.

(in reply to Hissltora)
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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 9:56:48 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Depends. If no is their safeword, honor it.  If they have another safeword and are saying no as part of resistance play, push on.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: submissives - 3/5/2009 10:36:39 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Depends on what they say no to, what the agreements are-- was it no to a second helping of vegetables or no to a gangbang--big difference---just because they are a submissive doesn't mean they don't have rights


I'll pass on the veggies tonight Miss Cat.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 2:17:01 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

  Is the activity in question you ordering them to take out the trash... or ordering them to attach their nipples to a car battery?

  Context is everything.



PMSL
From someone who is always looking out for new ideas

Maria


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(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 3:31:56 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		No, she's not your submissive. She told you no, now accept it. And for the really hard part, learn not to ask for the wrong things. Think first, and then think it out some more.

In my entire life I have met only one man who really does think everything out and considers the impact of what he wants on the people who depend on him. I'm his submissive. I've never been any one else's and I never could be anyone else's. Because I will never meet anyone else like him. He's worth submitting to.

Are you?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 3:34:26 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		To quote Pearl Jam...
"When she say's no, you better stop."

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 4:23:22 AM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		If this was online and in an IM conversation, then the submissive has every right to say no considering that person is not owned at all.  I would call this the negotiation stage and have had to turn down quite a few dominants who I felt would not be a compatible match for me.  In my opinion, submission is not automatic for some doms who demand a sense of entitlement. 

I am seeking a dominant rather than someone to just play which makes me very selective.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 5:42:07 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: corsetgirl
I am seeking a dominant rather than someone to just play which makes me very selective.


Even seeking someone just to play, it's probably a good idea to also be very selective.

To answer the OP, my definition of submission is to yeild to the authority of another.  Based on that definition, when a submissive says no, she most likely does not recognize someone as having authority in that particular situation.  What that person should do it look at themselves and seek out what leadership qualities they lack.  But what others have said, context is everything.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 8:40:47 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		During play i have said no but no is not my safword and Master know i don't really mean i usually say it when i an half out of my head.  Master and i negoiated my limits before we ever scened.  If Master bought something out of left feild and we had not negoiated it and it is something i can't bring myself to do you are right i will say no.  As others said though it depends on the context. The other day Master asked if i wanted  part of his snack i said no.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 8:52:04 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IA417

So if someone is submissive when they say no what do you do???


Gee I dunno, think about it for a minute you might come up with an idea like....

Stop and ask them why they said no?  There usually is a reason. Then make a "educated" decision and go from there.

It would totally depend on why and what she or he was saying no to.

D-  do you like milk in your coffee?
s- No
D- Why not?
s- I'm lactose intollerant

or

D- i'm going to suspend you and blind fold you then cut all your cloths off and whip your nipples
s- no
D- What do you mean no???
s- you whip my nipples and i'll bite your nuts off. This is a non agreed to activity.

See many reasons why she might say no *giggles*

_____________________________

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(in reply to IA417)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 8:58:05 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe do a little self reflection and consider why she said no to you 

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: submissives - 3/6/2009 9:36:10 AM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Even seeking someone just to play, it's probably a good idea to also be very selective.

You have a good point and with that in mind, I also believe in safety, too.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 20
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