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subfever -> RE: can we have a posting board for posting known fakes in this site? (1/22/2006 4:35:27 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cpl4subfem
i dont know about you guys but i would like to have a room where serious people actually looking for hook ups and friends can post the sites sns and ids of those who are fake, what i mean by fake is those who have come in here on this site, posing as someone looking for a Dom/Domme or vise versa and thru e mails and chat have played around not really being serious, they are ones looking to get off on pics and reading erotic e mails general harrasing those who are seriously looking for friends, submissives/slaves, Doms/Dommes.i dont know about you i am sick of this BS,.we need like a referal system, like if your serious you are sponsered by a sponser moderater, verfied by chatting or some other chat server, like having to have a alt chat server profile with real pics. or thru referal check with other pl, kinda like a friends network on other sites. it may be a pill to do but all in all to those who are serious abuot looking for someone it would be worth the trouble to set up.. thank you
I've had similar thoughts in the past as well... due to being played by supposed Dommes who eventually "proved" to be someone other than they represented themselves to be.
Ah yes... the games they play. It can get pretty irritating, can't it?
But I think most of us can imagine how "exposing" these people can lead to eventual abuses. And also... it's damn near impossible to obtain any real proof anyway.
Being on the short end of these games used to really get under my skin, but it doesn't anymore. Here's some advice you might want to consider:
First and foremost, don't allow your hopes to build up high when communicating with a prospective match. Keep yourself emotionally unattached. Assume that there's a high probability that the prospect is not who she/he represents herself/himself to be. After all, this is the internet. While there is some good on the internet, it's also a cesspool of fakes. Accept it for what it is. The secondary advantage of using this approach is that you'll be less likely to appear as being too hungry or even desperate.
The next step is to move your communication to your private e-mail addresses as soon as possible. My personal target is to do this within a week or two... assuming that we've exchanged at least 3-4 informative and comfortable messages. If your prospect balks at this, consider this a major red flag. Keep in mind that most fakes want to avoid providing anything that may lead to their true identity.
Now there will always be some rare genuine people that will fall through the cracks using this system. It's possible that you might lose one of these rare exceptions, but the odds will be in greatly in your favor. If you're not willing to stand strong and take the risk of walking away, you will only put yourself at an even greater risk of being played with.
Assuming that you've moved your exchanges to your private e-mail addresses, the next step is to graduate your communication to the telephone or webcam. Assuming that more informative messages have been exchanged, and the flow of exchange remains comfortable... your prospect should be ready to "prove-up" within 3 or 4 weeks from the initial exchange.
The phone or webcam is a tougher step to take. Most fakes will back off at this point.
I took a look back at all of the approach-contacts I made at this site. Of the 12 "Dommes" who responded and ultimately exchanged several informative messages with me... all but two backed off at this stage of "proving-up" on the phone. About half disappeared quickly altogether, and the other half came up with various (but IMO very weak) excuses why they couldn't or didn't want to talk on the phone. These "women" offered to continue exchanging e-mails, but I declined in every case.
Of course, graduating to the phone doesn't really prove anything other than gender. And even this isn't 100% fool-proof. But my guess is that most of the game-playing going on around here is by males. And by game-playing, I mean those willing to invest boatloads of time and effort to draw you in emotionally for whatever their selfish underlying motivations are.
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