WHEN [*] is, I... {common complaints}

WHEN [*] is, I... {common complaints} (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

MasterLark -> WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:46:56 AM)
The choice is yours to select...please complete the sentence(s). -- When a sub/slave is argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy, I..... -- When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... I selected these situations because they appear to be a common complaint from each, crippling good communication and thriving BDSM relationships...or for some, breaking bad behavior and leading to a great relationship, eventually. The instant reaction to either of these may be to say -- I dump her/him. But is that what you actually do? Just wondering.

vixenkneels -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:55:29 AM)
-- When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I become argumentative, sassy, bratty, and pushy in hopes of opening that door to communications and in hopes of finding out where I have failed to inspire my Master to be more attentive, more listening, more observant of what’s going on in the relationship.

littlewonder -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:56:28 AM)
When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... Work at trying to communicate myself in a different way, look at what I'm saying or doing and why it may not be getting through. If it's still not getting through to him then I reevaluate my needs and our relationship. If it's something that is extremely important to me and I'm not getting it from him then I feel that we may just simply be incompatible and I move on.

kiwisub12 -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 9:01:25 AM)
If my Sir is inattentive to me, i assume that he is thinking of something else, and give him space. Eventually he comes back to me, and we go on. Obviously, i don't have the issues the OP has, but just because my Sir ignores me, doesn't mean our relationship is "broken". There is more in our lives than our interactions, and both of us are cognisant of this fact.

antipode -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 9:12:41 AM)
quote: The choice is yours to select...please complete the sentence(s). What was the question again?

MasterLark -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 10:47:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: antipode quote: The choice is yours to select...please complete the sentence(s). What was the question again? How would you respond "When a sub/slave is argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy"?

DesFIP -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 11:33:43 AM)
To the op. The end of both those sentences should be "communication must be improved if the relationship and the people in it are to thrive". Any other questions?

Evility -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 1:06:38 PM)
When a submissive female says "I'm sorry - that's a hard limit" I order us each another cup of coffee and change the topic of discussion to current cinema.

MG4Apuppygirl -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 2:33:10 PM)
Response to scenario 1. Gag her and put her in her cage. Response to scenario 2. Bark. Whine.

pinkwind -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 3:42:30 PM)
quote: -- When a sub/slave is argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy, I..... ...should look to My own short comings. ...should open meaningful dialogue, communicate honestly and talk about the situation, find cause if there be one, and set the relationship on a more equitable path. Your choice? quote: -- When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... ...should look to My own short comings. ...should open meaningful dialogue, communicate honestly and talk about the situation, find cause if there be one, and set the relationship on a more equitable path. Your choice?

RealSub58 -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 3:54:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterLark -- When a sub/slave is argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy, I..... My Sir wants to know why I am whiny or emotional but I know better than to be the above which is greatly disrespectful. -- When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... know I am in the wrong "relationship." Compatibility and attention to core needs is at the heart of the right relationship.

JulieElizabeth -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 4:54:54 PM)
..not very proud of this but maybe there are others out there who feel similar When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... .. usually think it's something I've done or said..then I get paranoid thinking I'm not wanted anymore, remember that I'm not the most attractive person in the world and "who would want me anyway" attitude, then it gets to the point where I think they would rather spend their time with another sigh . . . by this time I can't possibly think rationally or objectionably.. My Daddy says that I'm feeding my demons when I do this. It's pretty sad, really. But as soon as the assurance is given I'm usually good to go. Something else I try to do is find other friends to chat with to help make the time go faster until he has time to talk to me.

MasterLark -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 6:10:55 PM)
JulieElizabeth, thank you for that.

catize -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 6:58:58 PM)
quote: [When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... /quote] There are several factors that would determine my actions. If it is a fairly new relationship, I just walk away. If they can’t be bothered at that stage I figure it isn’t going to get any better and so I’d rather skip all the drama! With R. and S., we get together, communicate, call, etc. as our respective schedules allow. If I write or call they usually respond, but if I get nothing for extended periods, and that has happened, I get worried. So I make it a little joke and leave them a voicemail saying “I have abandonment issues.” They ‘get’ the joke and take it in stride. There was a time I was involved with someone and when he stopped listening and shut me out, I did all the right things first: communicated clearly how it made me feel, asked him how we could work it out, etc. When nothing changed, I freely admit that I got quote: argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy,

lovingpet -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 7:24:47 PM)
I think that is primarily it OP. The two feed each other. Often it is a disjunct between two people that make for problems. In all honesty, these statements put so much blame on the other party that it isn't leaving room for self critique and internal evaluation. This is needed on both sides, not just one. If it is one sided and remains that way, things have already collapsed. lovingpet

Jeptha -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:14:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterLark The choice is yours to select...please complete the sentence(s). -- When a sub/slave is argumentative, sassy, bratty, pushy, I..... argumentative:This might be a reminder for me to pay attention to her thought processes (for lack of a more elegant term), and to be sure to try to understand and respect her intellect, her experience, her point of view, and her right to her opinions. sassy,bratty or pushy: I tend not to choose partners who are bratty or pushy, so it's rarely problem. I might try to see what the point of the behavior is, and if we can find a better way for her to communicate that to me. I might occasionally reiterate what my limits (what is acceptable to me and what is not), expectations, hopes, (etc.), are, especially when it comes to communication. As far as "pushy" goes, sometimes I will consider compromise, but I'm also pretty good at saying "no" if I really wish to.

Huntertn -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:21:33 PM)
the first one..try to figure out what has pushed her buttons. cause thats not her way at all.....and I know I am going to get a load of commits on this..look at the calander..lol

JulieElizabeth -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:29:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterLark JulieElizabeth, thank you for that. you're welcome : )

greeneyedreamer -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:43:26 PM)
quote: .not very proud of this but maybe there are others out there who feel similar When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... .. usually think it's something I've done or said..then I get paranoid thinking I'm not wanted anymore, remember that I'm not the most attractive person in the world and "who would want me anyway" attitude, then it gets to the point where I think they would rather spend their time with another sigh . . . by this time I can't possibly think rationally or objectionably.. My Daddy says that I'm feeding my demons when I do this. It's pretty sad, really. But as soon as the assurance is given I'm usually good to go. Something else I try to do is find other friends to chat with to help make the time go faster until he has time to talk to me. OMG... Are you in my head? LOL Ok so i am pathetic... not saying you are but damn... i feel the same way... what is wrong with me!!?????

JulieElizabeth -> RE: WHEN [] is, I... {common complaints}* (3/7/2009 8:53:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer quote: .not very proud of this but maybe there are others out there who feel similar When a Master/Dom/Mistress/Domme is repetitively inattentive to me, poor at listening to what I express, ignoring my core needs, I... .. usually think it's something I've done or said..then I get paranoid thinking I'm not wanted anymore, remember that I'm not the most attractive person in the world and "who would want me anyway" attitude, then it gets to the point where I think they would rather spend their time with another sigh . . . by this time I can't possibly think rationally or objectionably.. My Daddy says that I'm feeding my demons when I do this. It's pretty sad, really. But as soon as the assurance is given I'm usually good to go. Something else I try to do is find other friends to chat with to help make the time go faster until he has time to talk to me. OMG... Are you in my head? LOL Ok so i am pathetic... not saying you are but damn... i feel the same way... what is wrong with me!!????? {{{{{greeneyedreamer}}}}} pm me if you ever want to chat and need a buddy okay?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125