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So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 12:37:22 AM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

I've noticed, in reading through the profiles of Dominant women, that a very large number have a line or paragraph saying: "Please no chat requests! I'm not interested in that!"

This is fine by me personally, as I am not particularly interested in that either...but it makes me wonder if there are any Dominant women who do enjoy getting chat requests and respond to them. I suppose if there are any who don't mind doing so occasionally, they still won't answer here, as it would probably be seen as an open invitation, so it's probably a silly question to ask. :) Still, it makes one wonder...

Post #: 1

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 5:50:00 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Heh, I blocked all chat requests. First, CM's chat thing is horrible... second, all you ever get is the stupid little wankers anyway.

I suppose you'd be better off just waiting for her to send you her screen name for yahoo or something. :)

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(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 2

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 6:58:21 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

All of the requests I get are from someone I don't know, I find it rude and annoying--just as I do with an of the IM applications I have.

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(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 3

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 7:12:12 AM

tornaway

Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

The chat feature can be a great way to quickly find out more about a prospective sub .

However for me , that's only after some sort of email rapport has been established , and some potential commonalities have been discovered .

To approach me initially with a chat request will yield a denial ...

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 4

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 8:03:33 AM

MzticStormz

Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline

I blocked chat because I don't like to sit on the computer and wait for reponses back and forth it is like non-consentual bondage to me! it's time consuming where as emails can be answered on my own time when I have a moment or two.

(in reply to tornaway)

Post #: 5

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 8:22:49 AM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

Dominant women get a lot of attention, and it's harder and more time consuming to filter out people in chat than it is to filter out people by email. For that reason alone, I suspect that very few women looking to meet people in real life are going to engage people who randomly ask to chat with them. People who are just looking for internet wank fodder, on the other hand, may love chatting, but those people seem to be predominantly male.

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Post #: 6

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 4:46:51 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I'll only "chat" with someone I know and it would never be on a site like Collarme... if I know that that well we can pick up the phone to chat or do it in some other fashion.

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(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 7

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 9:46:08 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

chat is for friends, getting to know you emails are for new ppl. i can't use the chat feature here and i prefer keeping my IM's for family and close friends.
PM

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Post #: 8

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 9:52:33 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Usually the chat requests I receive here are one line spam from complete strangers. My OS seems to not be compatable with the CM chat function because it freezes every time.

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(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 9

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/8/2009 11:15:10 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I agree with many of the comments made by previous posters.

I have disabled the chat feature here on Collarme because I was tired of being bombarded by invitations from complete strangers who were in no way what I am seeking. Some were looking for wank fodder. Some were half-way across the world or young enough to be my son. Others were too lazy to compose a letter of introduction and figured that a chat invitation was a short cut to getting in contact with a Domme.

If a prospective sub sends a letter of introduction containing the information I request in my profile, and is in line with what I am seeking, I will often extend an invitation to chat elsewhere after we have exchanged some e-mail. I consider that a good way to get to know each other and very worthwhile investment of my time. As far as chatting with every Tom, Dick and Harry who sends an invitation on Collarme, I consider that a total waste of time.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 10

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 4:46:14 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I very much agree with MysticFireTopaz. I have a pretty standard procedure for the getting to know someone phase. It's only after a few rounds of email exchange that I'm willing to move to chat. In two years on this site, I've only given My actual chat information to less than ten submissive males that post or used to post on these forums. The bar is set pretty high.

Edited for an "oooppps."

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/9/2009 4:47:29 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 11

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 7:54:20 PM

Huntertn

Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline

OK..just to be sure I have this right..for subs your not into chat..but friends and family you are..hhmm..and for a sub to introduce themselfs..its either emails or not at all? [notice here I'm talking online only] I assume that meeting them in person..maybe at a group meeting is again another subject. I've noticed that most of the ladies responding have partners or even mult-parthers..I wonder if any of you didn't have partners would any of that change ? Now remember..I asking..not picking a fight here..grins..cause I'm thinking the op here is wondering how a male sub ever gets to talk to you'all..and I think he asked a very good question a lot of other male subs would enjoy knowing..and No, I'm not a male sub..but like him I do wonder...but it seems online isn't a real way to do that at all....

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 7:59:01 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

At thispointin my internet usage, I only chat with people I know. When I first got on-line (1996), I was all about chat rooms and such while my ex- was deployed for a year. It was a safe, novel diversion. Lost its shine when my guy got home. Again, any IM programs I use would only be for folks I already know.
Davan

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(in reply to Huntertn)

Post #: 13

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 8:01:19 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I don't have a partner and I refuse to do chat until after I have enough connection or knowledge to know the guy isn't going to go all sexual on me. I don't like wasting my time in chat with one person when I could be multitasking with a few... isolated to one, if I don't know anything about him. Most who have gotten me into chat earlier and why I made this rule... wanted to play kinky online. No thank you. If they can't talk to me through email... I can't talk to them period. They rush it... and I walk.

When I met someone elsewhere... they rarely rush over... don't even say hello and present themselves for a chat. There are steps to chatting anywhere and without a hello... just.. come chat with me... in person or online... they are getting a quick no!

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Post #: 14

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 8:16:24 PM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline

I don't do chat because the majority ruined it for the few. When I met my boy he emailed me, we exchanged personal emails after a bit, and then moved on to chat and phone after meeting in person the first time. I prefer it to be that way rather than having someone shoving questions about my sex life at me.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 15

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 8:41:23 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

OK..just to be sure I have this right..for subs your not into chat..but friends and family you are..hhmm..and for a sub to introduce themselfs..its either emails or not at all? [notice here I'm talking online only] I assume that meeting them in person..maybe at a group meeting is again another subject. I've noticed that most of the ladies responding have partners or even mult-parthers..I wonder if any of you didn't have partners would any of that change ? Now remember..I asking..not picking a fight here..grins..cause I'm thinking the op here is wondering how a male sub ever gets to talk to you'all..and I think he asked a very good question a lot of other male subs would enjoy knowing..and No, I'm not a male sub..but like him I do wonder...but it seems online isn't a real way to do that at all....

I'm not sure if this was in response to Me or not. Sometimes that "in reply to" thing is misleading.

Going on the online only, you pretty much summed it up for Me. As for family, as I think you're aware, chat is the primary option right now. That's a whole other thing not related to this site in anyway. (They do both have profiles here.)

As for friends, well, how do you think they became friends in the first place? It was usually something in common on the forums that led to an email, which led to another, and so on. I've cyber met a lot of folks this way.

For male subs, it's similar. I like having the opportunity to get some sense of them who they are through the forums. Intelligence, sense of humor, protocol (yes, that is a form of criteria for some), and other qualities that I'm attracted to. (I'm probably going to get some flack for that last part.) I actually find the forums a great way to get a feel for a person, before they are specifically addressing Me.

A quick check of My chat list to get the specific number of those who made it to chat is exactly eight. One is My current sub. One is a past sub. One I had under consideration at one time. One is a male sub who I happen to consider one of My favorite chat buds.

That number doesn't include those I've met in meatlife at events. That's actually My preferred way of meeting someone. I'm more than willing to have someone introduce themselves to Me in that kind of setting. In public, around people that I know.

The methods I've listed here, I feel have been very successful for Me. YMMV.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Huntertn)

Post #: 16

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 11:04:28 PM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

I should perhaps clarify by saying that I fully understand why so many would turn down chat requests from strangers. What I wonder is if the people (I assume most are men) who send out such requests often, ever get positive responses. So many women seem to find it necessary to stress that they won't answer such requests that I presume they get many of them. Presumably *some* women must respond to them, or people would eventually get the idea and stop sending them....(or so you would think).

It was just kind of a random question. I certainly didn't mean to ask anyone to defend their policy, though of course any comments are welcome. It just occurred to me to wonder if there were actually any ladies out there who actually enjoyed getting such requests.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 17

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/9/2009 11:16:06 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm not sure that's a good assumption.

Form letters don't work. They send them anyway.

The self degrading emails don't work (I'm a lowly worm.) They send them anyway.

Mails looking for wank fodder don't work. They keep coming.

Cock shots

Obviously haven't read the profile.

Writing people who specify "women only."

It still keeps coming, even when the methods obviously don't work.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 18

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/10/2009 11:42:19 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
It was just kind of a random question. I certainly didn't mean to ask anyone to defend their policy, though of course any comments are welcome. It just occurred to me to wonder if there were actually any ladies out there who actually enjoyed getting such requests.

I have run across a few profiles in my travels from Dominant Women inviting people to hit them up for a chat, but very few. They must actually enjoy getting chat requests or they wouldn't say that in their profile. They do exist, but there don't seem to be very many of them.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 19

RE: So who DOES like chat requests? - 3/10/2009 6:28:58 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I'm not quite as instantly NO about chat requests as some of the other Dommes here. Depends a bit for Me whether I have time at that time. Sometimes I've accepted and in a nice short space of time have been able to work out that this guy isn't suitable for Me. Might have taken 6 emails over 3 weeks otherwise. Others I've responded to, and while I've realised they wouldn't become Mine (in another country for eg), if they've had sensible questions to ask, I've enjoyed the chat and ended on a good note. What I do hate is when I've said I don't have time to chat and they keep hounding Me with another request every few mins! I might be onsite responding to a personal email and not wanting to chat on to someone else. So to answer the OP, I take chat requests on their merits at the time.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 20

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