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Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 5:32:23 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I consider Myself an edge player.***  I get the greatest thrills by playing on the edge.  I am not a SSC person.  I prefer to follow RACK.

"Edge play" as defined in "The New Topping Book" as "found wherever your edge is, whenever things start to feel risky, where you start to feel vulnerable, the edge of the cliff that looks over your personal abyss."  To Me, skirting on the edge is not the same as playing with a hard limit.  They are completely separate.  Rather, the edge is taking someone (or being taken) is about pushing the envelope.  Going just a little farther, soaring a little higher, or experiencing something new.  It could be pushing the comfort zone or a new twist on a favorite activity.

With this in mind, where is your edge?


***  This post was not generate in any way to offend those who do not participate in edge play.  Nobody is better or worse for the activities that they engage in.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 5:55:47 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Edge player here...breath play, fluid exchange, including blood, cutting and knives, rape, abduction, needles and piercings, and branding are all on the list. The more intense it is, the more I like it.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 3/8/2009 5:58:41 PM >

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 6:12:39 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		Playing on my edge keeps my intellect engaged.  If that goes, I get bored very quickly, which doesn't bode well for the relationship.  

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 6:23:26 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

where is your edge?


I wish I knew, musta left it in the car last night.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 6:43:11 PM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		Everyday life offers me enough edge play to keep me revved most of the time. Try spending the morning with your church wardens and advisers discussing fund raising activities and NOT slipping up and using BDSM lingo or ideas like a person auction. *wink*

Seriously tho, RACK has always made more sense for me when with experienced people that i know and trust, and SSC with people i don't know as well or are new or newish to a particular activity. I have no desire to piss blood because they have bad aim.


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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:14:00 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		i have given up looking for the edge, it seemed to be an arbitrary point where one was supposed to stop, and each time i got to what was thought to be that place i already had my eye set on another place. And if i had already reached the edge, where the hell was i planning on going?

Edges have to be firm, fixed solid, or they crumble away, or so i think, coming from the east coast of the UK where houses and whole villages, along with whole tracts of landscape, have fallen into the sea!

We have been driven in the direction our proclivities pointed out, and will continue to explore tangents and meandering paths off the main path. Like with breath play, seeing stars and smudging the edge of consciousness being as far off the beaten track as we want to go, but with cutting leading us recently to cell popping, and there still being more to explore.

Where there is ground sturdy enough to hold us, and the scenery is good, the direction sound, there is where we will be.



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From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:15:09 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I like being handed something I have never used before, and hearing the words, "Use this on me, please, sir."  That level of trust, combined with the challenge to my physical and mental skills, is one hell of a rush.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:21:17 PM   
SummerWind


Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I get the greatest thrills by playing on the edge. 


To me the greatest thrills come from taking her down a path where the outcome is not precisely known. Using my knowledge, experience and intuition to navigate us through.  This applies in the dungeon, at a bar, a diner, a lighthouse....all aspects of life.  The edge?  We couldn't find it if we wanted to.....

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:28:14 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I really don't know where my edge is. I've stood on what I thought was an edge many times but have never quite plummeted....so was it an edge in reality?

I'm relentlessly kept out of my comfort zone so the idea of an *edge* is shot away. to be honest.

agirl



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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:34:01 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		My own personal life has more edges than I care for so I don't really look for them in my play. I enjoy what I enjoy but I don't get off from the thrill of the unknown. I'm not a thrillseeker. I like stability more than anything else.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 7:55:30 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My own personal life has more edges than I care for so I don't really look for them in my play. I enjoy what I enjoy but I don't get off from the thrill of the unknown. I'm not a thrillseeker. I like stability more than anything else.



Ditto.

I crave stability, rules. Boundaries and feeling safe.

Luckily I've found someone to provide all of those.. and more.

Not only do I not want 'edge', I dislike it.


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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 8:17:32 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'm not much of an edge player at least not the way you define it in the op.  My life has been way too edgy for my tastes, and the edges have always managed to find me.  No need to seek them out.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 8:39:13 PM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Basically anything that carries a risk of actual damage...

cutting (or temp peircing)
breath play
heavy impact play (punching)
fire (although hot wax is fine)
controlled substances (including poppers)

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 8:44:44 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I love dancing on the edge.
My edges are razor sharp.
I can't really tell you what they are because at this point, much of what I do is spontaneous.
I walk into a scene with one or two things in mind and then flow with what's happening.
Lots of it has to do with the dynamic, not just the one that already exists between myself and her, but also that days dynamic.
In play I am unpredictable and challenging, pushing boundaries carefully. I keep things shifting frequently.
Trust me, nobody gets bored.

In RT, I am a calculated risk taker as well.
I do extreme skiing now and used to do full contact martial arts and free climbing when I was a kid.
I've been an entrepreneur and owned my own business.
I went back to college in my thirties and have pursued multiple degrees since.

The day I stop challenging myself is the day I die.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/8/2009 11:27:51 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~
 
I have difficulty defining my edge.  What I considered "normal" (vampirism, rape scenes, knife play) is what most people consider edgy.  I suppose my edge is that place in my head where SSC and RACK cease to exist and I know I'm capable of causing real, lasting damage with a few carefully selected words or creating an intense psychological reaction with a touch.  As much as I like to play along other people's edges, mine isn't a place I want to go.  Not because I'm afraid of it...but because I like it too much.  It's the place where my sadism stops being consensual and fun and starts being malicious and dark.  If I stare too long into my Abyss, it doesn't just stare back.  It starts getting friendly and I never want to leave.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 3:48:49 AM   
DomThoughts


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline 		I feel a little bit of a killjoy saying / thinking this, which I don't mean to be, but it struck a chord...

There will always be people in the world who are looking for that next big high, and the best of these bunch have become household names for their daring, there will always be people on the edge of society who go that little further, push that little harder, but there is generally some level of safeguard involved, even if that is nothing but the negative feedback system of pain / fear / whatever else, that stops crazy people from doing very crazy things.

My issue with this, and I agree that it is probably a very small percentage that would be affected like this, is that when two people come together and start playing on the edge as it is put in this thread, it can very easily become a very destructive force, because the negative feedback systems get eroded away and replaced by the positive feedback of urging each other to go further.

Maybe in a more general sense, if you are constantly chasing an edge, if that becomes your kink, then by its nature that can only become more dangerous, but then equally we are all looking for something new and more exciting so maybe that is just all of us.

It just strikes me that explicitely chasing new edges, in these contexts, could be a very dangerous game.


< Message edited by DomThoughts -- 3/9/2009 3:50:41 AM >

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 3:52:06 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		It's like jazz...you play around the notes with feeling.

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 4:35:12 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My own personal life has more edges than I care for so I don't really look for them in my play. I enjoy what I enjoy but I don't get off from the thrill of the unknown. I'm not a thrillseeker. I like stability more than anything else.



My life has always had more edges than I desire.
Not an edge player, never have been, not interested in performing "edge play",
but I enjoy watching it.
My kinks include: devotion, SERVICE, SERVICE, did I mention SERVICE?
humiliation, play and kinky sex.

Count me as one the D/s players.
Domination/submission floats my boat.
My "edge" comes from a devoted and loving submissive.
 

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/9/2009 4:36:04 AM >

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 4:57:44 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My own personal life has more edges than I care for so I don't really look for them in my play. I enjoy what I enjoy but I don't get off from the thrill of the unknown. I'm not a thrillseeker. I like stability more than anything else.



My life has always had more edges than I desire.
Not an edge player, never have been, not interested in performing "edge play",
but I enjoy watching it.
My kinks include: devotion, SERVICE, SERVICE, did I mention SERVICE?
humiliation, play and kinky sex.

Count me as one the D/s players.
Domination/submission floats my boat.
My "edge" comes from a devoted and loving submissive.
 



Hey hey, Don't get me wrong.
My primary focus in BDSM is D/S.
For me, it's always been the seed from which everything else sprouts.
And power has been the great fascination of my life.


I see nothing exclusive about either edge play or D/S.
They go hand in hand in my life.
I dominate her.
I like edge play.
That's it. If she doesn't like sort of stuff, I wouldn't be with her.

Edge play can take D/S and wander it way way down some lonely roads full of things that go Boo! in the night.
And that can be a lovely thing.

< Message edited by Kana -- 3/9/2009 4:59:34 AM >

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RE: Where is your edge? - 3/9/2009 6:02:28 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		All excellent answers.  One did get zapped that I replied to, and I apologize for that.

Mia, not to imply that I know you better than you know yourself, but some could argue that humiliation play can be construed as edge play.  Humiliation is a very broad term.  For that matter, so is edge play.  While most commonly understood as linked with physical activity, it could also be seen as mental or emotional.  Wouldn't mind fucks fall into 'edge' category?

Kana, I've also very much enjoyed your responses.  The passion with which you wrote about the topic came through crystal clear.

If anyone wants to chime in saying they don't care for edge play for themselves, I'm good with that, too.  I attempted to construct the original so that there aren't any right or wrong answers.  Just the answer that's right for you.

Please continue.  The answers are interesting reads.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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