RE: It's "That" time again......

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 5:37:04 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

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Oh damn, Jinxy - I knew she was near that point, but didn't realize it was That close!

You're right - we've seen each other through a lotta shit over the past *mumbles* 15 or so years now...... bad relationships, chaotic moves, lost jobs, found jobs, deaths, births, depression, anxiety, boredom, (and bored dom lol). We havce celebrated together, mourned together, railed at life together. You've been there for all of it, and have put up with my kevtching all along the way.

You know where to find me if you need me, hon - and you have my number (or at least you Should still have my number) if you need to talk!

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 5:56:07 AM

VirginPotty

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Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
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{{{{{HUGS my AK lady}}}}

Rhi, I'm so sorry for you & your Dad but please take comfort in the fact that you are there with him & when he's gone you'll be able to say I did everything I could for him, I was there for him until the end. I don't know your religious beliefs so forgive me if I'm over the line, but please know that when he's gone, he'll be free of all of his pain & then he'll be available for you as a Guardian Angel. He'll look down at you with love & rememberance and will be with you forever.

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 6:17:08 AM

GreedyTop

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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Sorry for your loss, Jinx *hugs*

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 8:14:26 AM

Rainfire

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{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Rhi, I can relate where you are, I'm in a similar position with my father. He's in the final stages of alcohol dementia and can pass at any time. He had a stroke about 15 years ago which started the decline, augmented by his alcoholism. He has absolutely no short-term memory but is still good about what happened 20+ years ago. Or he was, last time I talked with him. He has no memory of my divorce from the now-ex in 2001, he remembers our names some times but more often than not just calls me "tiger", "tomato" or "Zoom", my old childhood nickname. He remembers I have monsters but hasn't remembered a birthday in years and years. He still thinks the monsters are little munchkins but they're 20, 19 and almost 17. He has no clue that I'm remarried and in Canada now while he's in Idaho. It's so very hard to see the strong, big vibrant man who raised me where he is now. Weak, confused, almost house-bound since he can't walk and literally shrunken in size. Every time I think I've dealt with the grief and am prepared for the end, another fresh wave hits, including the guilt of having the thought "When will it end? I don't want to see him suffer anymore."

You've had some great suggestions here. I wish I could use them with my dad. But my family has never been one for keeping scrapbooks or things like that, we barely have some photos.

My heart and thoughts are with you in this difficult time. Holler at me if you want to talk more.

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 8:18:22 AM

everhope

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Joined: 8/19/2007
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Dearest Rhi,
i am sorry for your pain. you are very articulate about your feelings and i hope this helps you during this painful time. lucky you...you have all of us too!!

reading this thread made my eyes tear up and warm tears roll down my cheeks for my Dad's death in 06. it still hurts a lot. i still have flash backs to some very painful experiences while i cared for him as he died of colon cancer. the physical and emotional pain, the loss of memory from the meds, his anguish that his life was coming to an end so early in life, he was only 73. my heart broke everyday for him.
i so miss him.
what got me through was my friends sympathetic ears and their strong life reinforcing hugs. it will get you through too.

my heart goes out to all of you that are going through life's not so gentle pain.

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RE: It's "That" time again...... - 3/9/2009 8:35:33 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

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quote:

ORIGINAL: everhope
his anguish that his life was coming to an end so early in life, he was only 73. my heart broke everyday for him.

EH, 73 IS young. The older I get, the younger it sounds! Dad will be 64 in July, if he makes it to July. He had JUST turned 61 a few days earlier when he had the first massive stroke. Yeah, watching him go from being the strong minded, active, self disciplined man who raised me ..... to turn into this...... huddled pile of shrunken, weak, barely able to walk or talk person hardly clinging to life, completely lacking in the self discipline that he prided himself on having throughout my entire life.... it's just hard at times, to look at him now and actually see HIM, rather than seeing who he Used to be. I've caught myself a few times thinking silently "Snap out of it, Pops - you're Better than this - this isn't YOU - where did YOU go?"

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