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RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 5:17:53 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I do not have my sub speak in 3rd person because I find it a turn-off. It sounds as if they are negating themselves as a person and that does not sound pleasing to me. What others do in their relationship is their business but in mine, no there will be no 3rd person speech.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 5:26:29 AM   
shornIvory


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline 		shorn has refered to shornself as shorn since soon after slavery started, more because it amused shorn's husband/Master than anyother reason. Now it is official and shorn's middle name was changed to shorn, some how the lower case crept into shorn's copy of the documentation (OK the judge was an old friend of Mommy). Now, shorn is quite happy with it and those who shorn is 'out' with accept it. shorn is property after all, never wishing to be anything else again.

What is hard is making no personal reference at all, when even it or this slave are not allowed. shorn got into a real funk last fall and spent four months mostly in silent solitary contemplation, during which time when shorn could speak shorn could make no reference to shorn or shorn's existance at all. That is hard.

There is one good side however, shorn used this once in front of her boss, who recognized it for what it is, and came out himself. We've been very good friends since and he throws great parties. shorn and Ebony have both attended with our husband and all three of us have been there as servants.

shorn




_____________________________

The thought of it staggered my mind and struck me with a wave of envious desire. To be in such a situation, bought for the night, available to anyone at the crook of a finger!

Phèdre – Kushiels's Dart

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 5:28:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That might be true, but I don't think anyone on the site has the authority to override any instructions that are part of anyone's power exchange.

One of My favorite forum posts from clip was one where he was asked about why he writes the way he does.  The simple answer, "because m'Lady told me to."



So if he uses third party speech at your orders, it doesn't bother you if most people won't read his post? Because I'm wondering what purpose is there in posting if you know people have you on ignore simply because of the way you write.

I don't have him or Beth on ignore, but others who write in a way that is difficult to read, I do.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 7:12:43 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		hoo boy.

Where's my popcorn?


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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to blackcat39)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:39:14 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		big huge thanks to everyone for their kind words...please know that Master has enjoyed observing the blushing and the suprise that has resulted!!!
 
it certainly isn't a goal to be any sort of poster-girl for third-person speech~it's merely something Master requires, for His very own personal pleasure. it wasn't something that was engaged in, or fantasized about before entering into this relationship with Him.  it was a brand new concept...like shaving genital areas with no hospital procedure planned for...that He introduced.
 
the use of third person speech is like many things with regard to our life together as Master/slave, He determines the specific activity, and she attempts to execute it with grace, love and creativity...focusing on His pleasure and doing His will.

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:40:44 AM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

And have some kool-aid, too....

What I should have said was turn off his mother's computer...
 
What grown man uses terms like "Icky and Cooties"? None that I know of.

_____________________________


Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:42:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*picturing Beth blushing through her freckles*

*grin*

Seriously, beth... just based on what I know of you through here, you "execute it with grace, love and creativity" beautifully.  

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:43:51 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That might be true, but I don't think anyone on the site has the authority to override any instructions that are part of anyone's power exchange.

One of My favorite forum posts from clip was one where he was asked about why he writes the way he does.  The simple answer, "because m'Lady told me to."



So if he uses third party speech at your orders, it doesn't bother you if most people won't read his post? Because I'm wondering what purpose is there in posting if you know people have you on ignore simply because of the way you write.

I don't have him or Beth on ignore, but others who write in a way that is difficult to read, I do.

I must be one of those folks who you find difficult to read, because I addressed this already.  It's back in response #36 on this thread, but since you asked so nicely......

No, it doesn't bother Me in the least.  If people skip what I write because I cap My pronouns, or skip what he writes because he doesn't cap his, it's not a great loss.  We're not here to please anyone else.  While there are fantastic people on this site, none of them have a higher value to Me than My husband and My sub.  My little poly family is way more important than those who might have a negative opinion of the writing style.

For all the comments about how the improper capitalization thing drives folks nuts, there are a greater number of comments from people thanking Me for some remark or another that helped them, they learned from, or just identified so much with that they had to tell Me about it.  There have even been times that it's happened in the very same day on different threads.  LOL.  This leads Me to believe that there are enough folks out there big enough to get past the irritation of a capital "M" or a lower case "c" to be open to the possibility that there might be some positive content to the post.

Either way, I think personal expression is a lot more important than popularity. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:47:31 AM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		I'm like a lot of others who don't really care much for third person speech. It most times does come across as an attempt to show how uber subby/slavey they are. As said by so many, beth is a major exception to this. I have never had a problem reading her posts, they flow very smoothly and naturally, not put on airs or any of that as with most third person speak posts I have seen. Most others strike a discordant note when I try to read them.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to MoGa)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 8:52:23 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		total threadjack.

beth's name came up in conversation last night.  I don't recall the exactl sugue but we were discussing strong, feisty women and doormats.  I reminded m'Lord that not all strong women appear assertive.  When he asked me what I meant I talked about beth, to me she exudes serenity and poise in a way that I never could posses yet I sense a strenght in her that runs deep.  She is someone I admire greatly.

So, to get back on topic.  When third person is done masterfully, it's beautiful, but it does take practice.  I don't automatically skip over those that use it (I skip over slashy speak far more often) but like any poorly constructed thought, if it's difficult to read then the ideas behind it are lost.

I used it once, emotions were running high and I needed my thoughts heard without elevating the situation more, I chose to use third person to express my thoughts and it did defuse the situation and get the conversation flowing again, so I believe that it's a tool that can be utilized.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 9:17:45 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		my first Dom had me use third person speech, i never used it in a negative sense such as, "It knows it has nothing to offer" only because to me that just kind of negates the whole thing. I had a hard time at first with third person, to me it was humiliating because "I" and "Me" weren't allowed anymore. it was always, "this girl" or "may your girl use the bathroom" ect. but it also helped me delineate our relationship and i felt more "submissive" but in a different way (not sure how much sense that makes) we eventually split up and Master doesn't require it but i have caught myself at times when i'm feeling highly submissive and need high protocol slipping back into the third person speech.

If done right it doesn't have to have a negative connotation, i really dislike those that feel that because they are a sub or slave that they are less than, or stupid or have nothing to offer because that in my opinion almost belittles what i and others are. but that's a whole other thread. I have one friend who uses third person speech exclusively, she is an intelligent, witty, fun woman who's Master requires her to use third person as they both enjoy it's uses. Both were very good about teaching me it's proper uses, how to change certain verbs ect. One aspect about third person that i enjoyed and needed was the fact that because you must remove "i" and "me" and other such words from your vocabulary it causes you to think about what you are saying (something i'm not always good about), the word changes make you have to stop (at first at least until it becomes second nature) and to make sure you are asking or telling properly.

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 9:48:49 AM   
feydeplume


Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
Status: offline 		How about the use of the non-self referenced speech? Like the sort of language that is used in textbooks and things where there is no "i" or "we" or "me" or "mine"? Does that form of speech annoy or get blocked or ignored as often as third person?

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If it has testicle or tires, it's gonna give you the fidgets.
Pretend I said something witty and laugh.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 10:47:31 AM   
yescando


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/9/2009
Status: offline 		I get turned on by women who speak in the Fourth Person, such as: "Her friend said of her that she knows someone who wants to ask you on her behalf if you would like a blow job."

(in reply to MissLaura1973)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 12:45:48 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Merc did state that beth has been using third person speak for years.. and my guess is the flow and grace is something that developed over time as you became more comfortable thinking in third person




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(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 1:47:59 PM   
MissLaura1973


Posts: 161
Joined: 11/11/2008
Status: offline 		Just want to say thank you to all for your responses, thoughts, experience, and insight. I very much appreciate your sharing and now have a greater understanding of why the use of the third person might be desirable for some folks, which is precisely what I was hoping would happen.

Y'all are grand.

Edit: Damn typo that looked really idiotic.


< Message edited by MissLaura1973 -- 3/10/2009 2:32:54 PM >

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 2:27:16 PM   
sparkyRBF


Posts: 157
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: yescando

I get turned on by women who speak in the Fourth Person, such as: "Her friend said of her that she knows someone who wants to ask you on her behalf if you would like a blow job."


I love this!!

this could be a whole new kink right here. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhatUrSeeking

Justin finds it intresting that in a BDSM context it appears to be almost exclusively the slave that speaks of themself in third person.  When watching the movie Queen Elizabeth, Justin remembers that the queen would frequently refer to herself in third person.  Particularlly when she wanted to emphasis the point that she was the queen.  She would say things like, "the queen has decided that she wants you to do such and such."  Justin remembers this because the whole group watching the movie thought it rather strange and even arrogant.  It seems to just reinforce and remind the listner of the speakers roll.  It could work for either Master or slave, but for the most part it just sounds awkward and if not prepared for it causes the listner to have to stop and go wait but that is you that your talking about. 

Justin


Until you mentioned it i did not recall that Master has done this.   He has said something along the lines.  "Do what your Master tells you"  or "Don't you trust your Master?"   LOLOL  

We tried 3rd person speak, it didn't work out for us. At one point he called me an "it" and i let him know that was a complete turn off and really hurt my feelings.  He has never done it since.

I guess i'd like to say its not my thing but if it works for you knock yourself out.  I wouldn't want to cheat myself of learning something because i found it annoying.  Shoot, my typing teacher was annoying but look at me now! 

In chat i have found third person acting like a kitten has gone beyond annoying.   I guess it's because i'm the same online as i am offline and if i were ever in a club and saw some woman batting a ball across a room on her hands and knees i'd probably steer clear of her, and wonder when the guys in the white jackets were going to show up.


_____________________________

sparkyRBF
Happily owned slave
of
RedBotttomFarms

(in reply to yescando)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 2:35:51 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline
quote:

Either way, I think personal expression is a lot more important than popularity. 
 
 

Thanks Doll for finding the icons for me :)
 
MoGa

_____________________________


Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 2:37:49 PM   
MoGa


Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline 		<Adores Beth>
<Adores Merc>

I wish I had come to visit when I was out in Az. Maybe some day :)

_____________________________


Founder Of My Own IN-Crowd
Lady H's Biggest Fan
DIVA *Per Cali*
The Other Bossy One *Per Tulip*
Official Pimpette

Music Is The Universal Language. Let's Communicate!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 3:27:40 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoGa

quote:

Either way, I think personal expression is a lot more important than popularity. 
 
 

Thanks Doll for finding the icons for me :)
 
MoGa

My thanks to both of you.  (I happen to like icons.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MoGa)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Use of the Third Person - 3/10/2009 5:08:28 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Beth is one of the VERY few who do it with seeming ease.  I cringe when I read the "this girl... " stacco speak that most others use.  Yes.. it pisses me off.  I tend to think they are playing a role in which they still must carry around a prompt sheet.
:) happily, with the exception of beth, I just glaze over the others.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

~ Fast Reply ~
 
My slave beth uses it, as she's been required, since becoming my slave many years ago. I love hearing her refer to herself aways needing to consider that there is no 'I' in her life commitment. It's a 'ritual' and 'protocol' among many that we share and love, differentiating our 'way', and representing that our 24/7 dynamic as more than a facade, label, or lip service. beth speaks it, I hear it; WE enjoy it. 

These responses provide another reason. It pisses people off. As a sadist, I derive sadistic pleasure and satisfaction in their discomfort and contempt.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 60
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