RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (Full Version)

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akisha -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 1:41:50 PM)

hmmm , i knew I skipped this one for a reason earlier.

OP, you will find your "inbox" will dwindle down to very little in the coming months unless ofcourse you update your profile alot and change the picture so you keep ending up in the new list.

Alot of you ideals are ummm a personal view and even more importantly "Your Personal View" I don't think many that have been around the block a few times are going to embrace your wisdom, and I'd rethink the book idea.

There is no one right way, we all fumble though on our own path and usually make it just fine.

LaTrigresse  ... Have a margarita or two it helps the brain bleed hehe




sparkyRBF -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:33:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

OP, you will find your "inbox" will dwindle down to very little in the coming months unless ofcourse you update your profile alot and change the picture so you keep ending up in the new list.



Thank you for posting that.  I had no idea that each time i update my profile or change a picture it ended up on the newbie list.  This explains some things  LOL.   sometimes i'm not the sharpest spork in the drawer.




MissLaura1973 -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:42:14 PM)

Finally went and looked at the OP's profile - the gratuitous use of the first-person plural is quite amusing - can't imagine many of the submissives that I know agreeing with all that the OP states, and really can't imagine them being happy with someone else telling everyone what it is that they think.

Both funny and sad.




DavanKael -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:45:46 PM)

Fresh meat, especially of the submissive female variety (Particularly with pics) is always perved with great enthusiasm on here(And probably every similar site).  I hope that doesn't make you feel less special about the attention paid but it is what it is.
As for your proclamation of truisms in the bdsm world, I say fine for you.  As others have pointed out, they're pretty solid in what works for them and it's not likely to be what works for you.  Personally, I agree with some of what you said, others not.  Maybe the proclamations you made would have been better placed in the "Introductions" section, though I am not the thought police, so take that as you will.  I will say that I have come to know lots of cool people on here during my time here and you'll likely get to as well should you hang around.  One positive of your initial post is that you came in waaaaaay verbose and called forth the flames, so you can get that out of the way right off.  Welcome to CM.  :> 
  Davan




Prinsexx -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:45:54 PM)

quote:

If they are asking for money they are not true submissives.


Why not?
Ed to ask: did I miss the point?




susie -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:47:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

If they are asking for money they are not true submissives.


Why not?



Don't care why not! Where are these Doms offering money???????




karit -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:52:28 PM)

Maybe i should give you my password so you can look at the messages ive recieved since post then.

such as this one......
[Mod edit removal of private email]

yes my mistake was useing first person.  The book was a joke, did not go over to well did it.  i am not new to this site and my view is shared by countless other subs and Doms alike.  i am writing a book but it is based on opinions and interviews of over 100 doms and subs and i have visited clubs been to munches, sloshes, done countless hours of research, both in the field and book.  So to my critics i am human, yes, but one thing remains true.  If one is trained in the old ways of addressing a Dom then one types that way as well. 

"true way" and "normalcy" have always been a thorn in my side as well and i know better than to use those terms.  They are individualized and should never be depicted by the majority but decided by the individual.  My apology for the first person and for the generalization but not for my opinions.




Prinsexx -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 2:54:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

If they are asking for money they are not true submissives.


Why not?



Don't care why not! Where are these Doms offering money???????

Damn recession. Money-makers don't shake like they used to.




AquaticSub -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 3:00:30 PM)

~Fast Reply~

*reread, edited for mistake however... *

Just so you know.... I get tons of cut and paste e-mails telling me how they loved my profile but after talking a bit it turns out they don't realize I'm getting married. The response you've been getting will die down.

BTW - it's against TOS to post messages other people sent you I believe.




ModeratorSixteen -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 3:14:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
BTW - it's against TOS to post messages other people sent you I believe.


That would be correct.


And if anyone else ignores moderators reminders again expect the usual.




IronBear -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 4:37:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: karit

i certainly hope Y/you A/all buy my book too when it comes out lol. 

First, not only is it illegal to except monatary gifts for sexual acts, (in a court of law that would be termed either solicitation, or prostitution) it rather turns the D/s world into a debaucherous circus.  This is not what this site was intended for. 
 


BOLOCKS!!!! How dare you make such a global statement? Have you verified your comment with every state and local county, town and city in the USA? Have you also verified your statement with every country and local judiciary world wide? I think not! Indeed I can come up with several countries or places where such actions you describe are not illegal. All you have done is again shot yourself in the foot with your high handed blather and the apparent assumption that we, the members of CM, are semi literate ignorant peasants..


If I wanted to tell the world I was writing a book and especially a book on D/s relationships or indeed anything about BDSM and the related lifestyles, here is not the place I would do so until the book was long published and accepted. A publicist would do that for me generally and others here would do it for me too by referring people to my book. Making such an announcement in the high handed manner you have taken is crass, passé and down right crude, brusque and inelegant. To state that you will define what is real and unreal; regarding anything to do with kink relationship dynamics shows inexperience, lack of understanding and stupidity.

Young lady, never, NEVER, again attempt to speak for me! I am more than capable of speaking for myself and I have no use for such rudeness.. You are not competent to speak on my behalf.




karit -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 4:47:26 PM)

again Sir my mistake for useing the first person in my forum




Aylee -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 4:52:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: karit

The greatest gift can not be achieved from a one night stand.  At the end of it, Y/you are left alone and empty.  Just as Y/you were before.  A real relationship in this lifestyle takes time to build like any other.  Be wary of the individuals who want to be exclusive after one meet.  Hopefully Y/you enter into a long term relationship. Y/you are lucky enough to find a perfect fit.  Then Y/you will recieve the greatest gift Y/you could ever give to one another, your unconditional love and devotion.  



What is WITH these women always trying to turn a fuck into an engagement?




Knite064 -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 5:53:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: karit

Maybe i should give you my password so you can look at the messages ive recieved since post then.

such as this one......
[Mod edit removal of private email]

yes my mistake was useing first person.  The book was a joke, did not go over to well did it.  i am not new to this site and my view is shared by countless other subs and Doms alike.  i am writing a book but it is based on opinions and interviews of over 100 doms and subs and i have visited clubs been to munches, sloshes, done countless hours of research, both in the field and book.  So to my critics i am human, yes, but one thing remains true.  If one is trained in the old ways of addressing a Dom then one types that way as well. 

"true way" and "normalcy" have always been a thorn in my side as well and i know better than to use those terms.  They are individualized and should never be depicted by the majority but decided by the individual.  My apology for the first person and for the generalization but not for my opinions.

With respect, your original post reads like a cross between Castlerealm idealism and MSN Chat circa 1999 with a reinvention of the wheel thrown in for good measure.
I appreciate thats not very welcoming and for that im not proud of myself,  but it did kind of grind at me as i was reading , why not hang around and if your writing a book then you ll get a broader spectrum of ideals and viewpoints.
I/i do hope Y/you ditch the lower /U/upper caps idea though [;)]





apiercedkitty -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 7:45:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

If they are asking for money they are not true submissives.


Why not?



Don't care why not! Where are these Doms offering money???????


Hell yeah!! That's what i'm screamin... how come i don't get offered money?!?!? [:(]




apiercedkitty -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 7:55:41 PM)

i just have to jump in with the general crowd - i'm so happy for you that you have the feelings that you do. i'm also glad that you feel the need and the comfort to share them in such a public setting. i, however, share pretty much none of the same views... that's just me... but, maybe you could refrain from comments such as "you are not some prostitute to be picked up for a one day fling.you are also not a doormatt to be used when the girlfriend or wife is monotonous, tawdry, or on her monthly cycle," glad that works for you - i don't happen to share that particular view. Here's something else that sticks in my craw "The greatest gift can not be achieved from a one night stand.  At the end of it, Y/you are left alone and empty," again, glad this is your opinion and not mine. i've had one night stands and i can only think of 1 off the top of my head that i regret. Most of the people i know consider it rude to make generalized statements. Feel free to state your opinions - but make sure you don't lump us all together.





karit -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 8:08:56 PM)

again lol point taken i understand the third person not a wise choice to use my apologies




mistoferin -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 8:47:01 PM)

Instead of viewing those who have been replying as "wolves trying to eat you up", maybe it would be more worthwhile to view them as people who actually do have experience who are trying to tell you in a hundred different ways that you don't appear to have a clue. Not to mention that it's just pretty arrogant and presumptious for you to come in here assuming that you have some base of knowledge from which to "educate" us. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see people who have high opinions of themselves but I'd say you're reaching a bit far. You would do a lot better for yourself if you would spend some time reading these boards here and learning a thing or two.




catize -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 8:50:20 PM)

I have some questions  [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m25.gif[/image]

quote:

The individuals who are masquerading as Doms know who they are. 

Have you considered the possibility that it is not a ‘masquerade’ but could be a misguided or misinformed idea of ‘how a dominant should act’? 
quote:

  hey are in relationships, vanilla ones, not honest with their submissives. 

 
How do you know that they ‘all’ are in a relationship?
How can someone be in a ‘vanilla’ relationship and have a submissive to be dishonest to?
 
quote:

  but it has been reported to me that certain Doms do this.   

Is this only true in BDSM—M/s—D/s?  Haven’t you seen this happen in non-kinky venues as well? 
 
quote:

  i would just like to put this notice out there to all of the submissives, male and female, as a reminder.  A respectful reminder to the Doms as well. 


Why would you simply remind submissives but ‘respectfully’ remind dominants?  Does this indicate a lack of respect for submissive folk and /or a ‘special’ respect for dominants? 
 

quote:

  Second, as per gifts from Doms, how long have you been seeing the Dom?  Is it excessive?

Did you mean the time spent or the gift is excessive?  What amount would you consider excessive?  

quote:

   Is it something that says, if you take this gift, you are indebted to me? 

If he pays for dinner do I need to be warned that he might expect sexual favors for dessert? 

quote:

  you need to think women and men of submissive nature.  The allure of clothing, dining, vactions, gifts, and whatever else maybe given, is all very tempting.


Do you really think that submissive men and women are incapable of setting boundaries and saying ‘no thanks’?  That submission alters one’s mental capabilities so radically that a bauble would blind them and lead them into temptation?
quote:

  Doms, please do not give submissives from this site money. 

Is it okay for them to give money to submissives on another site or maybe at a public event? 

quote:

  The greatest gift can not be achieved from a one night stand. 

Wouldn’t that depend on what each person has determined they want?  Isn’t it possible that the greatest gift would be that they ride off into the sunset and leave us with a fond/hot memory?
quote:

  At the end of it, Y/you are left alone and empty.  Just as Y/you were before. 

What about those of us who would be sated and smiling and prefer to be alone?  Could it be possible that I am not ‘lonely and empty’; in fact I may possibly be living life the way I choose and do not seek a dominant to make me whole?

quote:

  Then Y/you will recieve the greatest gift Y/you could ever give to one another, your unconditional love and devotion.  
 
Unconditional love? Isn’t your entire post about your very rigid conditions?







MasterZen22 -> RE: overwhelming response and request to thread (3/10/2009 9:38:32 PM)

Yeah that happens..

I find it incredibly annoying as well. What happens is a few of the men send out "form letters" they just copy the same message a thousand times and send the same or similar messages to all the women they can find.

it overloads the womens mailboxes and ruins it for everyone.

An important thing to keep in mind is that the people who send out the massive amounts of "form letters" are almsot never the ones posting on this discussion forum.




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