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Work in S&M relationships. - 1/22/2006 10:07:39 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me. I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves. I read a recent post that made me think about how Master/female sub relationships deal with stereotypical roles and how they effect their relationships. If a Master has a female slave do they break conformity and the female slave has to go out to work while the Master relaxes at home or does the Master conform to the stereotype and go out to work while the female slave stays at home and does female slavey things. I know stereotypes like this are not a strong as they used to be but they do still exist, perhaps you choose to build your private lives around your existing work lives and don’t consider it to be an important aspect of the power exchange within your relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/22/2006 11:29:52 PM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		I work, and I expect my Master to work. I won't support anyone else, and I don't expect them to support me. If He can not take care of Himself, He sure the heck can't take care of me, and vice versa.


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 5:06:51 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I work. My partner works. We would not be able to afford the benefits of our lives if we didn't do it the way we do.



_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 6:11:28 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Rarely. Most subs would be horrified to be with a master who sat at home and made the slave actually work and be the financial support.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 6:13:49 AM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		Faaaabulous!

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 11:40:24 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I work. He goes to school. Eventually we'll both go to school again. then we'll both work.

It's the only way to support a family unit these days, especially at the jobs we're going for.

I admit I would have a hard time with someone of -either- orientation who just sat around at home unless a LOT of productivity was going on at home (a hobby, home repair, etc)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Chaingang)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 11:44:42 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		My Dom is retired, but is also a writer and will work doing that. He also has lots of ideas for starting our own business. I won't be working for awhile and plan to go to school and figure out what to do with the second half of my life. My Dom is also much more domestic then I am and we will share the household duties.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 11:48:27 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me.


Even in the society of Lions, the lioness clan that serves the Lion will fight against there so called master. Why? Because the know that they are the ones who bring the food to the table. They say "No" to sex when the damn well please and will even tell the Lion to wait his turn after bringing in the kill.

How can one be the Lord and Master of there house when it's really not there house. If there was a break up, who would get kickd out of the house? Who would loose there cable, internet, phone, electricity, etc...? Regardless of who works and makes the most income, a Master should always be able to provide the bare necessities for living.

Where is the controll when one can't provide? Even disabled doms/master normally have suppliments that make ends meet.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 12:18:20 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Let's see, what is more "dominant"?

Sitting at a desk in an office, keeping CM as an open window on a computer reading and posting between phone calls and meetings. Going to business lunches and having a single malt while discussing the Fed's last interest rate change, the latest trade the Yankees made, global warming, or an infinite number of other possible world event subjects. Coming home to some hors devours, a beverage, and a naked slave. Later enjoying a nice dinner home or away, a session of playing with the dog on the front lawn, maybe a walk, or a dip in the hot tub, then off to bedroom, or the playroom, and whatever.

versus...

Waking up early, making coffee, serving Master in the way he likes. Kissing him goodbye, starting on the days choirs. Cleaning up the dog poop in the yard, making the bed, washing clothes, cleaning the bathrooms, straightening the house, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping and completing any other assignments Master may assign. And of course keeping an eye on the clock to make sure things are prepared and ready when Master walks through the door.

Call me a "traditionalist" but I enjoy it. I'll keep things status quo.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 3:58:03 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

quote:

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me.


Even in the society of Lions, the lioness clan that serves the Lion will fight against there so called master. Why? Because the know that they are the ones who bring the food to the table. They say "No" to sex when the damn well please and will even tell the Lion to wait his turn after bringing in the kill.

How can one be the Lord and Master of there house when it's really not there house. If there was a break up, who would get kickd out of the house? Who would loose there cable, internet, phone, electricity, etc...? Regardless of who works and makes the most income, a Master should always be able to provide the bare necessities for living.

Where is the controll when one can't provide? Even disabled doms/master normally have suppliments that make ends meet.


Master is disabled and I am His carer. We both get welfare payments, same amount for each of us. We each contribute to half of everything like electricity, food, phone/internet (no cable, too expensive). There is not a lot left over at the end of a fortnight. I figure I have saved the Australian government thousands of dollars because if I wasn't here He would have had to go to hospital numerous times.

Of course He would love to be able to hold down a job, as would I, but because His condition varies so much from day to day, and He can get very ill at the drop of a hat, it is not possible


(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/23/2006 8:19:34 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Of course He would love to be able to hold down a job, as would I, but because His condition varies so much from day to day, and He can get very ill at the drop of a hat, it is not possible



The good part is that he's not any less of a Dom or a Man because of it. I wish my best for your relationship.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/24/2006 12:46:01 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

quote:

Of course He would love to be able to hold down a job, as would I, but because His condition varies so much from day to day, and He can get very ill at the drop of a hat, it is not possible



The good part is that he's not any less of a Dom or a Man because of it. I wish my best for your relationship.


And unless you are yourself disabled then sir I take my hat off to you (Or would if I was wearing one) as not too many non-disabled people show that degree of understanding.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/24/2006 12:30:07 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

And unless you are yourself disabled then sir I take my hat off to you (Or would if I was wearing one) as not too many non-disabled people show that degree of understanding.


Me disabled? Some say I have selective hearing, give directions but rarely read instructions, and eat all the food. Those who say I do this tell me that my disability is being a man.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/24/2006 12:43:02 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

quote:

And unless you are yourself disabled then sir I take my hat off to you (Or would if I was wearing one) as not too many non-disabled people show that degree of understanding.


Me disabled? Some say I have selective hearing, give directions but rarely read instructions, and eat all the food. Those who say I do this tell me that my disability is being a man.


As long as i have time free to watch US Football in Foxtel and go fishing and head off to the combat range and play with my mates there.. I'll happily get all the house work i am abled to do done for relaxation and daily exercise and then it's off to deal with clients (non paying most of the time), but still I get my disability pension as does my Wife/Free Companion. Any slave living with us would be expected to assist in a small share of home expences and help with some house work as well as helping keep me out of trouble..... To sit about and expect to have everythig done for me would see me in the grave in less than a year i need to keep as busy as I can even at the cost of regular sleep (sheesh i even forget to eat or take meds most times).

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/24/2006 1:27:51 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want


OK, you're a traditionalist.

quote:

If a Master has a female slave do they break conformity and the female slave has to go out to work while the Master relaxes at home or does the Master conform to the stereotype and go out to work while the female slave stays at home and does female slavey things. I know stereotypes like this are not a strong as they used to be but they do still exist, perhaps you choose to build your private lives around your existing work lives and don’t consider it to be an important aspect of the power exchange within your relationship.


Yes, those stereotypes do exist, but I believe they exist to a lesser extent than you think they do. I've noticed that there isn't really a norm for who works and who doesn't in any dominant/submissive or dominant/slave relationship. It's mainly an individual consensus reached by the people in question. Typically they let what works best for them guide them, not a stereotype.

As for myself, I and my husband/master both work. He's a security technician and I'm a substitute teacher and writer. I plan on working until I pop out my baby in July, then I'm taking six months off to be with my child. After that I will go back to work and put my hubby the rest of the way through college at Purdue. He will not be working during this time, except perhaps on weekends. Eventually I will go back to college while he works. I may or may not work after that. It has nothing to do with either our master/sub relationship or the view that men should be the workers. I don't agree with that view, but that doesn't matter. We're simply doing what we have to do and what works out best. I think most other couples are doing the same.

Edited to add: And just so everyone knows, being a homemaker is not "just sitting around the house," especially if you have children. My mother had four children and caring for us, all of our seperate activities, keeping us fed and out of trouble, in addition to taking care of our house, running us all seven different places a day, and doing all the paperwork involved in life was a full time job that didn't end at 5:00 pm every day. Being a housewife is more work (especially when you get no help at all from your significant other) than anyone who's never done it could possibly know. Alright, my little sentimental rant is over.

< Message edited by NakedOnMyChain -- 1/24/2006 1:33:40 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/25/2006 4:11:45 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		staying at home and being 'fabulous' whilst i earn the bacon, is not a trait id seek in a master. But each to their own.

"ponse". is that word still used these days?

We both work. We both contribute. Sometimes, financially we have to help each other. We are a partnership.

If i were looking, and found say, a nice rich Dom who can afford to 'keep' me at home at his beck and call. I would wilt and die from lack of mental stimulus and challege that my career supplies. I would become stale and lacklustre ie, less of a good submissive. For me, it would just not be a plausable option. No matter how fabulous he was, one person cannot provide me with enough mental stimulus. Im too gregarious for a start.

little1



(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/25/2006 4:44:18 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me.




Traditonalist???

sounds boring, unfulfilling, and maybe even lazy.... but I would hardly call it traditionalist!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/25/2006 5:15:10 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		I work , and my Master works. We live apart , but it does not make either of us less of who we are. Granted being at home is great , you can get lots done, and the kids and owner get better taken care of, its not in the cards.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/27/2006 2:19:59 AM   
Crazytwice


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/28/2005
From: North of Boston
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

Call me a traditionalist if you want though I firmly believe that doing work is what slaves are for, they go out to work and I sit around being fabulous until they come back to worship me. I think that is easy for me or a Domme who has male slaves to say because all of our slaves are male and traditionally that is what males are meant to do, even if they are slaves. I read a recent post that made me think about how Master/female sub relationships deal with stereotypical roles and how they effect their relationships. If a Master has a female slave do they break conformity and the female slave has to go out to work while the Master relaxes at home or does the Master conform to the stereotype and go out to work while the female slave stays at home and does female slavey things. I know stereotypes like this are not a strong as they used to be but they do still exist, perhaps you choose to build your private lives around your existing work lives and don’t consider it to be an important aspect of the power exchange within your relationship.

\

ARGHHH!


_____________________________

"If you build it, he will come"
~Field of Dreams~

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Work in S&M relationships. - 1/27/2006 4:29:21 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Just wondering--is that a new slang term for jerking off?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

I sit around being fabulous


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 20
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