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RE: Self loathing - 3/22/2009 4:40:41 PM

honeygirl

Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
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It is definitely not the case that everyone hates him/herself at times. Unless I have wiped it from my mind beyond all recall, I can assure you that I have never, ever hated myself.

Self-doubt is by no means the equivalent of self-hatred and I would be extremely surprised to find that any credible and sane psychiatrist, psychologist or sociologist would consider self-hatred to be normal. I'm not certain what you, Vanityfull, base this statement (beyond your own singular experience, of course).

That said, I do agree that if someone feels that they loathe/hate themselves, they should definitely speak to friends, family, or therapist etc. I'm not so certain about the whole "speak to a co-worker" thing -- that might not pan out -- depends on your co-workers. I'd be on the street as soon as the next round of layoffs went through my company, that's for certain! (and yes, it would be wrong of them, yada, yada, yada)

To the OP: I was grateful to find out about BDSM. Finally -- whew!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanityfull

i find the "go to a shrink" posts kinda repuslive and thought i should say so.

not becuase i hate professional consil but i find telling someone to go see a shrink as kinda indacating that they are fucked in the head for hating themselves. thats crap. everyone hates themselves sometimes, be it in w/e sense everyone has self doubt, society has some pretty harsh demands to conform sometimes, everyone has felt that pressure, at its worst it becomes self hatred.

YOU ARE NORMAL TO HAVE FEELINGS OF SELF HATRED

i recomend against them obviously, the best thing i have found to deal with it is talk, talk to your parents, siblings, freinds, coworkers, whomever you trust and think will understand and support you, if you dont have anyone thats ok to, post on these forums or your collarme journal or something im sure someone around here can sympathise with your issues.

also affirmations are super awesome, i seriously recomend everyone looks at the mirror in the morning and declairs themselves a sexy beast, hunchback and all.

(in reply to Vanityfull)

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Post #: 41

RE: Self loathing - 3/22/2009 7:07:36 PM

Vanityfull

Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline

im glad you have lived your whole life where you have not felt the affects of self hate...

i stated everyone has had the pressure by society to conform, i take that back, some people imbrace conformity so much they cant see the pressure of it...

i state self hate as normal as in my life i have spoken to many many people who have also suffered from destructive tendences fighting some aspects of them, beyound the perfect folks that dont have anything wrong with them ever, there is alot of examples of self hatred, steming typically from a need to fit into a group, i would discribe the need to compermise your indaviduality or a peice of yourself to fit into an image as self hatred, be it a need to get the gay out of you, starving off a few pounds, being to stupid, ect ect.

not every person has a major destructive time in their life, i was merly saying the feelings are common and that people are normal to feel pressure to conform and these feelings can turn very self destructive, "self hating" if you will, thats normal(common) too.

i meantioned coworkers as an example as i dont know random strangers or what their support is.

i dont get where you got my saying self hate is normal as me being pro selfhate, obviously no professional is going to say self hate is normal as in not something you should deal with. it is normal as in it is common(nearly, if not all people at some point in there lives) not that is a part of a healthy breakfast that everyone should have. wether you want to arguee if people have self hate is a common or rare thing, well i think everything from alchohalism to gangs to exgays comes from a self doubt that can easyly become hate.

(in reply to honeygirl)

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Post #: 42

RE: Self loathing - 3/24/2009 5:18:32 PM

yesMaster247

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/24/2009
Status: offline

Do you ever hate this lifestyle?
No.

Has there been times where you were filled with self loathing for whatever it was that set you outside the normal everyday life the people seem to engage in?

Yes. But i am diagnosed with mental health issues

" If so, how do you deal with hating yourself for being involved in a lifestyle..."

i don't hate myself for being involved with the lifestyle. Truthfully it is the only thing that makes me feel safe. When i feel this way i just repeat over and over to my Master that i m sry. i know i m not worthy of the attention he provides me however, it help to know that i m there to take care of his every want and need.

(in reply to whiteslavebitch)

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Post #: 43

RE: Self loathing - 3/25/2009 3:29:29 AM

Blackwolf9

Posts: 47
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline

I dealt the with self doubt/self hate/self esteem issues in high school and early college. Most of that disappeared as I embraced my kinky side and found friends that I could be myself around. I'm not sure if one allowed or was caused by the other. I still occasionally deal with some embaressment/shame over my masochism, as I was raised in a christian household and the brainwashing/upbringing sometimes leaks through. I have NEVER hated the "lifestyle". Maybe I've just been that lucky. Mostly I think that BDSM and Master are responisble for me being the happiest and most comfortable with myself that I have ever been. As far as dealing, if you have kinky friends to talk to and that you trust, I'd do that first. My family would only make matters worse, I'd not take that route. Kink friendly therapy might help if you don't have someone else to speak to.

(in reply to Vanityfull)

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Post #: 44