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 No, I think common sense or lack thereof does.

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  idea that there are (usually) 10 men to every woman on a dating site just doesn't add up. Yet we, the collective we, doesn't doubt or test or wonder about this. 

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Do you think experience, or lack of, has a positive or negative impact on the D/s dynamic?

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Yes. To me, the whole "lifestyle" or "WIITWD" thing is one huge boring cliche in and of itself. The idea that there is a "vanilla" world that is so unlike a BDSM world is just ludicrous to me let alone that the folks living in the "BDSM" world are more enlightened, advanced, open minded, accepting, etc. It's absolutely nothing less than stupid and utterly wrong to perpetuate such nonsense. So yeah, it's all one big goofy cliche in my little book.......................luci

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ORIGINAL: Jeptha

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Yes. To me, the whole "lifestyle" or "WIITWD" thing is one huge boring cliche in and of itself. The idea that there is a "vanilla" world that is so unlike a BDSM world is just ludicrous to me let alone that the folks living in the "BDSM" world are more enlightened, advanced, open minded, accepting, etc. It's absolutely nothing less than stupid and utterly wrong to perpetuate such nonsense. So yeah, it's all one big goofy cliche in my little book.......................luci

Really?
I see a pretty huge difference. If I look over to my partner and say "get on the floor you dirty little cunt" or somesuch (something that is within the parameters of what she and I have agreed upon), that is just hugely different from a "vanilla" relationship.

I use the word "vanilla" to signify that difference. I don't use it to put down anyone. I'm not saying or implying that vanilla is bland or inferior.

But there just seems to me to be such an obvious difference there that I'm having trouble understanding why people seem to be denying it.

On another level, I don't have orgasms from vanilla sex*. I have no dysfunction that I'm aware of ; the cock gets hard and stays hard, but straight up fucking or a basket of blowjobs just doesn't trip my trigger.

Again; just very different. Again, again; not saying one is better. I'd love to have a bit more normal sex life, actually. Have even considered hypnosis in that regard.

*Now, I know for some it isn't about sex, (~ they can bring their own perspective to the discussion), but at some point most everybody wants to have a sex life of some sort. If we take that as our point of departure, than it is, in addition to whatever else, about sex.

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ORIGINAL: catize

There are many clichés floating around the BDSM world. .  One I see from time to time is that a person who has submitted to a previous dominant will struggle with the transition to a new relationship because the ‘new’ dominant has different expectations.
 
I don’t see any down side to experience.  With experience comes the knowledge of what one is capable of giving or giving up. 

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Otherwise, it's probably as sloppy to say "everything's the same" as it is to dreamily lisp how magically transformational it all is.  

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 I've seen this most often when dealing with submissives who have been "mentored" in positioning, serving, play, and sexuality...

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

FR to both catize and slaveluci ~   If you see as I do the wider kink together with the BDSM lifestyle (As differing to that where people are only involved occasionally for a spot of fun or to get their rocks off), as one of the many sub cultures abounding in society, it would be difficult to see the whole as a cliché any more than to see any other sub culture including various religious and political sub cultures as clichés. However this is really a personal view and is going to vary according to the individual.

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ORIGINAL: kidwithknife

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

FR to both catize and slaveluci ~   If you see as I do the wider kink together with the BDSM lifestyle (As differing to that where people are only involved occasionally for a spot of fun or to get their rocks off), as one of the many sub cultures abounding in society, it would be difficult to see the whole as a cliché any more than to see any other sub culture including various religious and political sub cultures as clichés. However this is really a personal view and is going to vary according to the individual.

I think the difference between  BDSM and the religious/political subcultures is that the latter quite obviously have very different values from mainstream society.  If we're talking about the fringes, anyway. I'd consider the Hare Krishnas a subculture in a way I wouldn't the Church of England.

But I'm not sure that there are enough differences between mainstream society and BDSM for BDSM to qualify as a genuine subculture in the sociological sense of the word.

As a whole, anyway.  I'd agree with you that a lot of it comes down to individuals.  There are certainly BDSMers who are subcultural, even countercultural.  I just don't believe that's the case for the whole scene.

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ORIGINAL: catize
I don’t see any down side to experience.  With experience comes the knowledge of what one is capable of giving or giving up. 
 
Not only do I know what I like, but I also know what I can do without if the dominant does not like it.  I know what I am willing/able to submit to whether or not I like that

I don’t think it takes an Einstein to realize that every dominant is unique.

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  That's a bit of disappointing precedent in my opinion. On one hand you state that every dominant is unique while on the other hand you imply that you might write off activity X as something you cannot submit to after have tried it with only one dominant. If every dominant is unique then is it not unreasonable to assume that every dominant might do activity X just a little bit different. You might hate doing it with dominant A but really get into it with dominant B but you'll never find out if you draw the line after dominant A. I agree that experience is generally a good thing but you have to know how to temper it. 

You present a good argument which made me reconsider my words.  I would agree that there are some things I would re-try with Dominant B.  But! (as a friend of mine says, ‘the truth comes after ‘but’   ) there were some things that led to very unpleasant and emotionally painful results with Dominant A.

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ORIGINAL: catize
To remove the work analogy, if we were non-kinky would we expect our new boyfriend/girlfriend to be just like the last one?

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   I think it is quite likely that people do complain when they don't get what they are expecting, even when they aren't aware of their expectations.