RE: Submissive by Default in social situations?

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/24/2006 8:46:52 PM

KnightofMists

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I think Lucky has address two of three reasons why people use the terms "Sir" and "Ma'am"

1. Social title within the community

2. Personal relationship dynamic

and I would add the third one that MysticalPhoenix addresses

3. Polite Mannerism with general interactions

I think once use must be put in context. What context applies to yourself with these terms. For myself, I tend towards number 2. Like Focus, I am somewhat perplexed when a person addresses me as Sir. My tendency is to assume that a person is using it as a personal relationship dynamic This would be very presumptous of anyone to address me in that manner without some sort of earned level of Respect/Trust to have been established. However, I must remind myself that often people preceive the terms in the other two perspectives and I should consider more closely from what perspective the person is coming from when they address me. Usually it is not difficult to determine in what context a person is using the term, and I would respond appropriately in that context.

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/24/2006 10:01:11 PM

OscarHargraves

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If I met you I would want you to offer me the same respect you would any other man (especially since I'm your 'senior' by a couple of decades). By that I mean polite, courteous and respectful. In return I would do the same. I would also expect you to be YOU, not some persona that you put on to meet 'Dom(me)s. I would hope you would be reasonable, honest and fun to talk too.

If we were scene-ing however I would THEN expect you to become the willing submissive.

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/25/2006 12:14:37 AM

Arpig

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ok, first of all, it doesn't bother me if a sub/slave who isn't mine calls me sir, to me it just means that they either a) do things that way, or b) for whatever reason that person has decided that I deserve it. I am sort of used to it, given my age and the amount of grey in my beard I am often adressed as sir by strangers wanting the time or something like that.
As far as my sub, i would expect her to use that term only for doms who were my friends, however, I would not forbid her from using the term if she feels more comfortable doing so. In the context of a scene/event, I consider a sub calling a dom/domme sir or ma'am to simply be a form of politeness.
Master, however, is a different kettle of fish; I would not permit my sub to address somebody other than myself as master, and when i am called master by a total stranger (granted, not very often) I am always a little taken aback, and have a great temptation to play the maniacal sadist, just to show them they should be careful whom they give that title to.
As for those who give themselves titles and expect others to address them by those titles, well to them I say: expect the unexpected, because it ain't gonna happen from me or my pet.
Another thing to keep in mind (and which anybody who has served in the military can confirm), Sir can be anything BUT respectful...its all in the tone.

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/25/2006 1:41:47 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: typesgirl

Really my question is not at all about how to address people.

Actually, the question of how subs address other lifestylers, particularly Dom/mes, is a highly valid example re behaviour (hence I made it the gist of my first reply) as it's probably the most common way many subs show a small level of submission to strangers, even if it is just a title or word.... It's of no consequence to me if a total stranger calls me 'Sir' for whatever reason but it's highly relevant when a sub who knows I'm a Dom does - BIG difference!

As for a sub just being feisty or sassy (or bratty, too); if she's not my sub, I'm quite happy to enjoy the "show", esp observing his/her Dom/mes response - or lack of....

Focus.

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/25/2006 2:03:55 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I am absolutely positive that Focus knows the difference between polite and subserviant. He seems quite capable of making that distinction.

Thankya ma'm....

Focus.

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RE: Submissive by Default in social situations? - 1/25/2006 8:43:40 AM

cloudboy

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I would hope your master expects you to be you. I think its a misconception to think that all DOMs want a fully programmed slave or submissive. And if you think about it, why would any DOM want to deprive himself of the unexpected? (When two people are compatible, the unexpected tends to be a good thing.)

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Post #: 26