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RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 2:38:23 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

Lol, my rather blunt and direct attitude (of which some people hate and others simply love) has no connection with the high number of wanna-be-dommes in the world.
My point was not whether we were friends, but simply that I have seen so many begin full of high hopes, excitement and already "spending the money" they've yet to earn. Fast forward a few months and they are asking people if they want fries with that burger.

Knowing your business, truly and well, and being passionate about it increases the chances of success. Going into something with no clue and seeing it as easy money, lowers the chance of success. And again, these are people that I only knew in passing, not friends. My charming personality had no effect on thier success or failure, nor their outlook on life.

I refuse to accept the responsibility of Pro-Dommes success on a global scale based on my being Ms. Congeniality (or not), lol. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland
"Professionals"? Did you really say that? I've known many "pro-dommes" over my years. Most thought a blowjob was "kinky" when the started. They never heard of the majority of fetishes and kinks that their clients might request. They are usually one of two groups, very young adult women who hope to coast through life on their looks, doing very little and expecting to be compensated well for that, or middle aged women who feel that life somehow "shorted" them and are trying to make up for it by taking (what they see) a easy way to cash in on owning a vagina and being willing to do certain "acts".

Life experience can vary so much! The prodommes and former prodommes I've known have been skilled, and nice people, not bitter. However, I'm not surprised, VanesssaChaland, that my own experiences are so different from yours. Your posts tend to be full of complaints, and complainers attract other complainers to form mutual bitch societies. If you try to build others up more, instead of tearing them down, you might find that people who are successful in their emotional lives want to be around you. Then you will see such people all the time, not just once every million times.

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If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 21

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 2:53:32 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I agree 100% with VanessaChaland. Dommetoots are rather pathetic. Their existence out here does seem to be in contrast to the TOS of Cm. big deal.

It is a scam. It is primarily based upon one's economic class. if you broke you turn to Dommetoootion. Not quite as gritty as being a true hooker.

Point of interest. If you care to check this out....Look at the number of female African American subs, then check out the number of African American dommetooots. Around Chicago it is about a two to one ratio of dommetooots to subs.

Maybe black chicks are simply more dominant than their white counterparts? (I have heard this as one reason as to why black dudes like to bang our proud white sistahs, black chicks can be such twats...lol) The more realistic answer is that they, african american women, need the money and view this as an easy way towards a rich and fulfilling retirement without having any true skills.

Thoughts?

Sure I have a thought that is somewhat off topic, rather sensitive, regarding the breakdown numbers you mentioned. I have only know a few black female submissives and during munches, play parties etc, white males feel very very uncomfortable tying them up, spanking or punishing them, for obvious reasons. Its unfortunate that some of these women with true submissive natures and desires are denied or neglected due to discomfort based on history. And again these were "play parties" and had nothing to do with Pros or payment, just for fun. :)

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If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 22

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 3:35:40 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland
I have only know a few black female submissives and during munches, play parties etc, white males feel very very uncomfortable tying them up, spanking or punishing them, for obvious reasons.

Perhaps the reasons are not so obvious as you seem to think. Care to enlighten us?

Cali

_____________________________

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(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 23

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 3:45:03 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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Oh for Pete's sake. I'm going to the dissertation defense of a former prodomme in three weeks. She won an art fellowship a few years back that paid for her to tour Asia. We met because she had a profile here, which incidentally mentioned none of that background. She's looking for a husband, and wants to have children with a man she loves.

Not every pro or ex-pro gets a Ph.D., but most of them aren't losers either. When I was in Orlando recently, I spent some time talking to a former prodomme who owns her own (non-kink-related) business. I saw her play, and she was able to grab a flogger by the handle, not the falls. If 99% of the people in your life are incompetent, that says more about you and your life than it does about the human race.

Domi, in terms of "thoughts," I'll give you a five-year-out prediction. The economy will continue to worsen for the average person: the jobs "created" will pay less per hour than the jobs currently being lost. As a result, there will be a rise in the population of all kinds of sex workers. This includes prodomination, and also "hot matures," webcam girls, and young men tricking out their skinny asses on the sidewalk. One consequence of this will be increased police crackdowns on sexwork (which we are already seeing with the lawsuit against CraigsList) -- but, at the same time, a lot of people will get more mellow about it, because they will know people personally who are doing or thinking of doing sex work, so it will be less scary and alien.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 24

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 11:16:56 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

I'm not quite sure why a couple of people are having a hard time grasping the simple fact that,,,,
A: I am not casting aspersions on Pro-Dommes as a rule, nor what they do.
B: These women are not, I repeat NOT my friends!!!

I am giving an example, of people I have casually met, (as in maybe said hello to at a munch and that was the extent of our direct conversation, wherein in a people filled room) they discussed their failure as a Pro.

The same example could be used for the 1000s or millions of young ladies that decide to take up stripping, run a paysite, become "cam girls", do phone sex, become an escort or whatever else, and for whatever reason *they* are not able to make what they perceived was going to be "easy money". Of course many do make a very good living at it. Many people make a very good living in Hollywood yet for every Julia Roberts, there are 10,000 wanna-be actresses serving drinks and flipping burgers. I am not responsible for their failures either, lol. :)

I never called them losers, don't put words in my mouth. I already have enough of those.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Oh for Pete's sake. I'm going to the dissertation defense of a former prodomme in three weeks. She won an art fellowship a few years back that paid for her to tour Asia. We met because she had a profile here, which incidentally mentioned none of that background. She's looking for a husband, and wants to have children with a man she loves.

Not every pro or ex-pro gets a Ph.D., but most of them aren't losers either. When I was in Orlando recently, I spent some time talking to a former prodomme who owns her own (non-kink-related) business. I saw her play, and she was able to grab a flogger by the handle, not the falls. If 99% of the people in your life are incompetent, that says more about you and your life than it does about the human race.

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 25

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/18/2009 11:18:33 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

Because of a disgusting and horrible time in Americas history regarding white males and black females a couple hundred years ago.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland
I have only know a few black female submissives and during munches, play parties etc, white males feel very very uncomfortable tying them up, spanking or punishing them, for obvious reasons.

Perhaps the reasons are not so obvious as you seem to think. Care to enlighten us?

Cali

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 26

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/19/2009 2:50:11 AM

ThomasMore

Posts: 52
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline

A "tribute" happens when you get off.

A "scam" happens when they get off.

(in reply to asianchloe)

Post #: 27

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/19/2009 3:54:11 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

"Professionals"? Did you really say that? I've known many "pro-dommes" over my years. Most thought a blowjob was "kinky" when the started. They never heard of the majority of fetishes and kinks that their clients might request. They are usually one of two groups, very young adult women who hope to coast through life on their looks, doing very little and expecting to be compensated well for that, or middle aged women who feel that life somehow "shorted" them and are trying to make up for it by taking (what they see) a easy way to cash in on owning a vagina and being willing to do certain "acts".

The majority of them are out of business within a few weeks/months. Even more bitter that the major cash they hoped to obtain never happend. Very very very few make it decades and ever make any serious money.

Going to some cheesy online adult site, buying a whip and some handcuffs does not make one a "pro".

If someone has a true and sincere interest, is willing to spend a great deal of time learning, training, practicing and then makes a career out of it, more power to her. That type however is like one out of a million. :)

You must meet the bottom feeders. The women I associate with have all been knowledgeable, beautiful brilliant women. Strangely enough, all of them have degrees- one in particular uses her background in psychology to her advantage in sessions. A session with her, and you realize why she has done so well for herself over the years.

I consider myself to be a professional, even though I've only been at it for a year. I might not have everthing down yet, but hey- it's all in the approach, and I've got awesome people to learn from.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/19/2009 3:57:49 PM >

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 28

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/19/2009 5:35:24 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I think people who defend "this practice" are choosing to cite the small majority of cases to make their point.

Like:

All strippers are working their way through med school.

All atheletes are going to end up as sports broadcasters.

People who do meth actually look younger.

There ya go.

_____________________________

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 29

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/19/2009 5:53:26 PM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

Yea, right, whatever. The laws of averages and numbers prove otherwise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

"Professionals"? Did you really say that? I've known many "pro-dommes" over my years. Most thought a blowjob was "kinky" when the started. They never heard of the majority of fetishes and kinks that their clients might request. They are usually one of two groups, very young adult women who hope to coast through life on their looks, doing very little and expecting to be compensated well for that, or middle aged women who feel that life somehow "shorted" them and are trying to make up for it by taking (what they see) a easy way to cash in on owning a vagina and being willing to do certain "acts".

The majority of them are out of business within a few weeks/months. Even more bitter that the major cash they hoped to obtain never happend. Very very very few make it decades and ever make any serious money.

Going to some cheesy online adult site, buying a whip and some handcuffs does not make one a "pro".

If someone has a true and sincere interest, is willing to spend a great deal of time learning, training, practicing and then makes a career out of it, more power to her. That type however is like one out of a million. :)

You must meet the bottom feeders. The women I associate with have all been knowledgeable, beautiful brilliant women. Strangely enough, all of them have degrees- one in particular uses her background in psychology to her advantage in sessions. A session with her, and you realize why she has done so well for herself over the years.

I consider myself to be a professional, even though I've only been at it for a year. I might not have everthing down yet, but hey- it's all in the approach, and I've got awesome people to learn from.

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 30

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/20/2009 4:38:18 AM

DickDuster

Posts: 14
Joined: 5/14/2008
Status: offline

.

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 31

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/20/2009 12:11:01 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Yea, right, whatever. The laws of averages and numbers prove otherwise.

Er... prove what exactly?

I'm sorry, I must have come off like I was talking out of my a**. Let me clarify. Those are my experiences. Those are real people. That is real life.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 32

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/20/2009 1:43:07 PM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Yea, right, whatever. The laws of averages and numbers prove otherwise.

You have actual statistics on this?

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To watch how the mighty go in a blaze of hubris
But I just stood there hypnotised by all the beautiful madness

(New Model Army, Into the Wind)

(in reply to VanessaChaland)

Post #: 33

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 2:08:34 AM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

(Where is the heavy sigh of boredom icon ?)

A large percent of all small businesses fail (Google it). Lack of capital, employee issues, marketing trends, traffic (foot traffic for a brick and mortar and correct SE traffic that converts to sales for web business). Those "laws and averages" are readily available through any government agency that tracks startups, SBA, etc (again Google it).

Why would pro-dommes be unique to these averages? They arent. If you factor in the outrageous rates most try to charge (and fail), a lack of local clients (not many are going to show a profit in Small town USA population 2000) the fact that many local authorities would deem it illegal and arrest them (hard to advertize if you can't run ads locally with getting police involvement), costs for wardrobe, equipment, rent for dungeon/office space (unless someone was foolish enough to have clients come to her home) general overhead, well yes, a very short lived career.

Not to mention the burnout rate. Many are not able to deal with what they see as the "perversions" of some of their client requests. Golden, brown, blood, piss, scat, ingestion of bodily fluids, tears, emotional issues, jealous SO, etc. And the simple fact that so many are deluded into thinking its quick and easy money with no genuine interest and/or knowledge about the subject, various fetishes, techniques, attitudes and so on.
As in (one gum chewing prospect saying to another) "I read somewhere that we can charge like $200 an hour to dominate men". "We should like so do this". Problem is clients show up, the new "Pro Domme" wants to spank the guy with a wet towel and call him a worm, (not his fantasy but all she read about online) he leaves, the next client goes the same way, etc, etc, very soon she is at Taco Bell taking out the trash and bitter about it.

I mean whatever. Its the same with most any other business. Anyone can start a business, few are going to make it.

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If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to kidwithknife)

Post #: 34

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 9:09:47 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Not every pro or ex-pro gets a Ph.D., but most of them aren't losers either. When I was in Orlando recently, I spent some time talking to a former prodomme who owns her own (non-kink-related) business. I saw her play, and she was able to grab a flogger by the handle, not the falls. If 99% of the people in your life are incompetent, that says more about you and your life than it does about the human race.

Domi, in terms of "thoughts," I'll give you a five-year-out prediction. The economy will continue to worsen for the average person: the jobs "created" will pay less per hour than the jobs currently being lost. As a result, there will be a rise in the population of all kinds of sex workers. This includes prodomination, and also "hot matures," webcam girls, and young men tricking out their skinny asses on the sidewalk. One consequence of this will be increased police crackdowns on sexwork (which we are already seeing with the lawsuit against CraigsList) -- but, at the same time, a lot of people will get more mellow about it, because they will know people personally who are doing or thinking of doing sex work, so it will be less scary and alien.

Red, love you like a brother, but I gotsta disagree. It would be interesting to find out what the "twue" numbers are. This would apply to both sides of the coin male/female Doms.

While I am sure that there are men that use this as a ploy to attract sub women...I am more confident that many more ProDom women have been attracted to this career choice based solely upon the thought of capturing some easy quan.

If this is true, which I am confident that it is, most of these women have no discernable or transferable skills so they are probably more identifiable as being "losers" than many other groups one might want to lump them into.

They tend not to be good ambassadors of quan.

_____________________________

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Post #: 35

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 9:16:32 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Why do people always think that their bigoted ideas of reality have more meaning than people who have real life experience?

Hrm.

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HBIC

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Post #: 36

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 9:25:01 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Why do people always think that their bigoted ideas of reality have more meaning than people who have real life experience?

Hrm.

Because some people understand the landscape. Some people can look at an atomic bomb exploding and realize it is probably not wise to be in it's vacinity. Although I have never seen an atomic blast in person I would imagine this to be the case.

Other people will spend their lives proclaiming that McDonalds offers the healthiest food on the planet. Just because you have ate at McDonalds doesn't necessarily make you an expert on the subject of nutrition. I have found that too many people out here are incapable of forming an accurate opinion or decision based upon the concept of reality.

But if you must, fantasize that the "Pretty Woman" will always be rescued by her Dick Gere. When in reality she is much more likely to be found dead in a dumpster strangled with her panties or overdosed on smack... It's not pretty but it is much more of a realistic scenario.

Choose whatever ending makes you sleep better at night.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/21/2009 9:29:30 AM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 37

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 9:38:17 AM

cbtok

Posts: 70
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

Ah yes and there are scam artists that have no interest in a real business, only in parting people from their money.

Take this profile for example:

Hi I am XXXXXXXXXXXX
I am very experienced and comfortable with Domination. I started Role playing at 14, and I started Mistress Training in 1997. I have many fetishes myself. I enjoy being a Naughty WET Nurse, Golden showers, Wax, Any type of HEAVY Domination, cross dressing, CBT, strap on play, fantasy wrestling, body worship and age play... to name a few. I am VERY opened minded, into whatever feels good. No much turns me off. I love to give, and cater to my lovers.

Its not hard to please me; however, only the most ELITE will be with me.

I am into older men (usually) , Yoga, consider myself spiritual, and very easy to talk to. see yeah!!!!!

And then two new profiles later:

Hi I am aka Mistress YYYYYYY,
I am very experienced and comfortable with Domination. I started Role playing at 14, and I started Mistress Training in 1997. I have many fetishes myself. I enjoy being a Naughty WET Nurse, Golden showers, Wax, Any type of HEAVY Domination, cross dressing, CBT, strap on play, fantasy wrestling, body worship and age play... to name a few. I am VERY opened minded, into whatever feels good. No much turns me off. I love to give, and cater to my lovers.

Its not hard to please me; however, only the most ELITE will be with me.

I am into older men (usually) , Yoga, consider myself spiritual, and very easy to talk to. see yeah!!!!!

Then there are those "lost ones" from the Philippines, Nigeria and other countries known for scam artists.

I think that everyone needs to make sure their B.S. meter is properly installed and working. The above profile caused mine to [..../] peg. And it's kind of hard these days to get them replaced inexpensively.

Real life meetings need to be done in a public place. You need to set up a friend to call you about a half hour into the meeting to make sure that you are all right. And you need to be fairly wise to the scams. Someone asking for money for no service at all whatsoever is running one, be they AT&T or Prodomme Vicky (apologies to anyone named Vicky, I just pulled that out of my hat).

my 2¢

_____________________________

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 38

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 10:29:00 AM

honeygirl

Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

My thought is that you should add a modifier like the word "some" to your statements.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Maybe black chicks are simply more dominant than their white counterparts? (I have heard this as one reason as to why black dudes like to bang our proud white sistahs, black chicks can be such twats...lol) The more realistic answer is that they, african american women, need the money and view this as an easy way towards a rich and fulfilling retirement without having any true skills.

Thoughts?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 39

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 10:31:18 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: honeygirl

My thought is that you should add a modifier like the word "some" to your statements.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Maybe black chicks are simply more dominant than their white counterparts? (I have heard this as one reason as to why black dudes like to bang our proud white sistahs, black chicks can be such twats...lol) The more realistic answer is that they, african american women, need the money and view this as an easy way towards a rich and fulfilling retirement without having any true skills.

Thoughts?

No thanks. But feel free to do whatever floats your boat.

Come to Domiguy.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/21/2009 10:32:43 AM >

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Post #: 40

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