RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes"

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 10:51:18 AM

honeygirl

Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

My posting wasn't a request -- just providing you with my thoughts, as requested, lol! Since I know the proposition -- as a blanket statement applicable to all black women-- to be false, it's challenging for me to see how I, personally, could meaningfully address your conclusion.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 41

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 11:05:27 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: honeygirl

My posting wasn't a request -- just providing you with my thoughts, as requested, lol! Since I know the proposition -- as a blanket statement applicable to all black women-- to be false, it's challenging for me to see how I, personally, could meaningfully address your conclusion.

Fine, I will take the time to further explain. I chose to ommit the word "some" because I didn't feel it was necessary.

It was just an exploratory observation as to what drives a woman to become a dommetoooot. I think it has much to do with one's socioeconomic status.

So I chose to model this observation around "black" women. I am aware that not all black women are broke, or dommetoooots.

However, if we look at "black chicks" as a group, which I often do, it is apparent that statistically they fall into the lower portion on the socioeconomic scale.

So the question is are black women more dominant than their white counterparts or is it more likely that a monetary need has driven them to the exciting and challenging world of Professional Dommetoooootion?

Now to expound on this matter in a fuller fashion. I believe that people that are in similar socioeconomic classes act in a according manner. Meaning that po' unedumacated white folk act virtually identical to their black counterparts.

So I don't think it is too much of a stretch to expect to find the number of Prodommetooots is in direct correlation to those same people not possessing the needed skills or being able to find meaningful and rewarding work.

Help?

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/21/2009 11:31:46 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to honeygirl)

Post #: 42

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 2:48:31 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Because some people understand the landscape. Some people can look at an atomic bomb exploding and realize it is probably not wise to be in it's vacinity. Although I have never seen an atomic blast in person I would imagine this to be the case.

Other people will spend their lives proclaiming that McDonalds offers the healthiest food on the planet. Just because you have ate at McDonalds doesn't necessarily make you an expert on the subject of nutrition. I have found that too many people out here are incapable of forming an accurate opinion or decision based upon the concept of reality.

But if you must, fantasize that the "Pretty Woman" will always be rescued by her Dick Gere. When in reality she is much more likely to be found dead in a dumpster strangled with her panties or overdosed on smack... It's not pretty but it is much more of a realistic scenario.

Choose whatever ending makes you sleep better at night.

O noes! Whatever shall I do without Master Amazing swooping in to rescue from my horrible life?! It's so scary out here in the big world outside of my kitchen!

O wait.

Sorry.

Forgot about all that self efficient stuffs.

Yes.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 43

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/21/2009 6:32:24 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Domi, to expand to another example, it takes about a year for a phonesex dominatrix to build up enough of a clientele that she could do that full time, and drop all other sources of income. Most women don't stick it out that long, for whatever reason. Anyone can throw up a page on Niteflirt or elsewhere, though, and generate a few calls. The big issue is drumming up repeat business.

I'm not guessing, or cogitating, or googling that. I won't say how I know it, and you are (as always) free to decide whether I am full of shit. But it's the truth.

We may just be having a language problem. When I refer to a "professional domme" -- whether on the phone or in real life -- I mean someone who is capable of generating enough money from domination to pay most (or all) of her living expenses over an extended period of time. In order to achieve that, you need a core of regular customers. You can't do that if you totally suck.

By contrast, when you refer to a "dommetoot," you seem to mean someone who throws up a profile on the other side of this site, to see if she can make a few extra bucks by sounding bossy. I don't know any of those people personally. I don't take the time to get to know them. I don't give them my phone number, and I don't visit them at their homes.

But the most important thing to bear in mind is that more and more women will be trying these jobs on for size. Yes, there are a few prostitutes found in dumpsters every year, but hunger hurts, and seeing your family members hungry hurts more. People will be doing anything they can to bring money into the home.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 44

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 12:17:45 AM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Yes, there are a few prostitutes found in dumpsters every year, but hunger hurts, and seeing your family members hungry hurts more. People will be doing anything they can to bring money into the home.

Which is all the more reason to legalize prostitution, Pro-Dommes, Pro-Slave/subs. And the gov. should lay off the topless dancers. If one were to look at the areas in Nevada where "whore houses" are legal, they have virtually no crime, no STDs that are not discovered and dealt with, no bodies in dumpsters, no pimps beating up the "help", its clean, its safe, its taxed.

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 45

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 12:25:42 AM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

Isn't marriage about financial domination? Why allow people seeking husbands or wives on here, when legally, they will be required to support one another, &/or pay tribute when one decides they want out of the marriage?

(in reply to honeygirl)

Post #: 46

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 1:17:12 AM

BailyBoo

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline

I've met quite a few escorts, many a professional Dominant, and a couple of professional submissives.

The ones that I've met in all of these categories had one thing in common and that was their actual enjoyment of their profession. They weren't just doing it for the money, their work was a pleasure.

Not all professional Dominants are dollar obsessed. Some people just want to do a job that they love.

As for the original topic of the post, I think everyone should be able to be on a website that's devoted to kink. This site isn't just a personals site, it's a community of people with similar interests.

(in reply to MissIsis)

Post #: 47

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 2:28:01 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

Like myself, many Pro Dommes are also lifestyle, so we have a right to be here, as with any other BDSM community :)

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to BailyBoo)

Post #: 48

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 2:36:30 AM

StrangerThan

Posts: 1515
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline

These types of questions float around now and then. Maybe it's CM inductee experience #13 or something.

The simple answer is they're all scams and the simple reason behind that answer is that most come to a site like this expecting or wanting to find common ground with someone and the common ground in this case is that you pay for it. Tribute is a BS term. Kind of like generous and any other phrase or word that essentially says, part with some cash if you want my attention.

Some bright star will come along and make the observation that you're always paying for it and paying more if you're in a relationship or married. That is another BS statement in terms of what most people are wanting to find. It has truth embedded but it's kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. It may be easier, but what idiot will stand over a barrel and fire a gun down into it to kill a fish when they can simply reach down inside it and pick one up. Better yet, turn the friggin barrel over and get all you want.

That's a convoluted way of saying that truth can have many sides to it and not all of them are applicable.

The better answer is if you're afraid of parting with your hard earned cash and not getting what you want, then just ignore anything that even remotely looks like it is looking for your money first. Either that or launch your own morality campaign. There's plenty of laws out there covering that type of behavior that supercede a TOS.

_____________________________

--'Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform' - Mark Twain

(in reply to asianchloe)

Post #: 49

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 7:23:05 AM

CuriousPuppy

Posts: 120
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline

Personally I just wish CM would give us a checkbox/dropdown to filter out the people who claim to be pro's, it would make everyone's life easier.

(in reply to StrangerThan)

Post #: 50

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 7:49:54 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

As in all walks of life , there are the genuine and then there are scammers. As in everything else there will be people who will feel exploited and hard done by. And yes damn right, the fees that Pro Dommes charge are way too high as a general rule. Some are realistic, some are well over the top.
kevin

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)

Post #: 51

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/22/2009 10:58:37 AM

honeygirl

Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline

Yes, that is quite helpful, domiguy. Unfortunately, I don't know the answer about what makes those on the lower end of the socioeconomic spectrum misrepresent themselves, cheat, and steal. That said, I seriously don't know what makes anyone, anywhere on that spectrum, do the same. At least, if you're poor, it can be said the reason is to put food on the table, I guess.

MissIsis, I, personally, do not agree that marriage is about financial domination. It's not a given that the marriage will, in fact, always lead to divorce and also to a court judgment that one must pay for the other. I think it is safe to say that it is almost a certainty that a pro-domme will want to get remunerated in some way!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 52

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/23/2009 2:10:43 AM

VanessaChaland

Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousPuppy

Personally I just wish CM would give us a checkbox/dropdown to filter out the people who claim to be pro's, it would make everyone's life easier.

Good point. However, we might also need a checkbox/dropdown to filter out :
Women who are gold diggers.
Men who are married and lying about it.
Women who are married and lying about it.
Women who want to be married, but lie about it.
Doms who part time as subs.
Subs who secretly wish to be Doms.
Dommes who used to be Doms and the reverse.
People who show a profile of a good looking young person, and in reality are much older and fatter.
Men who claim 8 inches, but in reality have 5.
People who claim to love good wine but actually drink nastyass cheap beer.
People who claim they dislike Obamas policy but are actually racist.
People who claim they liked Bush's policies but are actually elitists who hated the guy.
People who claim they have 76 degrees and make $23590275982734572057240 an hour but actually are high school dropouts and are unemployed (and never have been as Mommy and Daddy pay for everything).
And on, and on and on. It would never end. :)

_____________________________

If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

(in reply to CuriousPuppy)

Post #: 53

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:18:54 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The kink of "financial slavery" is different from prodomination. There are prodommes who do it, but in general findommes are a different breed, in my experience. Specific examples here:

http://www.myfinancialdommespace.com/

Thanks for the clarification. (The only findommes I know are also pro-dommes). But why do you think financial domination not permitted to be mentioned on the site?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

For what it's worth, the prodommes I know get pretty much zero new clients from advertising on CM. After they get beat up by the timewasters enough times, they either leave the site, or stick around for the message boards or to advertise for a romantic relationship.

You're right, now that I'm more familiar CM, I do see ProDommes who also seek romantic relationships or lifestyle slaves (domestic slave, chauffeur, etc).

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 54

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:23:54 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe
why do you think financial domination not permitted to be mentioned on the site?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_709736/mpage_1/tm.htm

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to asianchloe)

Post #: 55

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:23:56 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

If you think financial domination is EMPTY YOUR WALLET Worm... then hey let's call a scam a scam...

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

If your expecting a 200/hour rate you should see bigdoggie.net or professional websites designed for prostitutes..

I disagree with you that Pro-Dommes are prostitutes. Many are hardworking, ethical individuals who provide a service not more illicit than the average stripper or erotic masseuse.

(in reply to zero69u2)

Post #: 56

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:35:00 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

"Endorsed by management"??? I want an endorsement; how does one go about getting an endorsement?

One of the Terms of Service is that you may not advertise your services. Seems like asking for tribute is advertising a service, but then again, people have a lot of different interpretations of what the word "tribute" means.

4.3. No Illegal Conduct Allowed: You will not use the Website in any manner inconsistent with any applicable laws or regulations. You may not include any personally-identifying information such as phone numbers, street addresses, Web site addresses, email addresses, Instant Messenger screen names, or any other information that if provided may be used to circumvent the Website's communication capabilities. You may not use the Website to advertise products or services, nor may You use the Website in order to solicit products or services, unless otherwise permitted by collarme.com.

I think requiring "tribute" is not really tribute but as you said, a way to ask for payment for services. "A tribute (from Latin tribulum, contribution) is wealth one party gives to another as a sign of respect or, as was often case in historical contexts, of submission or allegiance."

Of course, accepting [actual] tribute (monetary wealth or gifts) from a slave or potential slave is a different animal than stating "accepting tributed sessions only". I don't think she's asking him to bring her flowers!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 57

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:38:24 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Tribute is a scam, plain and simple. If giving away your money is your kink then go for it, otherwise stay far away

Maybe paying for a service to get exactly what I want is my kink.

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 58

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:47:12 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Freyathelady

Let's try to put this in perspective. Let's say you're a hair-stylist and you really love what you do so you join a message board where you can talk to other people who are into hair styling. Then people start messaging you and asking you to do their hair for free. You tell them you can't do that because, much as you enjoy doing hair, it's how you make your living and, if you didn't charge you wouldn't be supporting yourself. Then they cry fake and scam at you. Pro-dommes are professionals, just like any other and deserve the right to make a decent living and not be badgered to give out "free samples" They're also human and enjoy the company of like minded individuals. I don't think they should be banned because they have a lot to add to the boards, in terms of knowledge experience, etc. I personally never bother anyone by contacting them and demanding money but, if someone contacts me, I let them know up front what my boundaries are. If someone's not offering what you're looking for, just don't contact them.

That's well-put. (I'm not in favor of banning pro-dommes, just well, it seems inconsistent with the site not allowing financial slavery which I thought had to do with limiting the exchange of money between members).

But, what is aforementioned hairstylist says on her profile, "I work at Bumble & Bumble and I'm not interested in meeting anyone unless you come into my salon for my service". Sure, you're being upfront about fees, but it does violate the TOS of CM by advertising a service.

(in reply to Freyathelady)

Post #: 59

RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes&... - 3/24/2009 6:54:41 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
Op, your term 'lifestyle players' confuses me on several levels. First, I'd expect to see the terminology used on a swing site far more than I would on a bdsm site. Next, and more relevantto CM, I see lots of folks saying they're looking for relationships. I'm not sure what makes them 'lifestyle players'.

By lifestyle player, I mean someone who is into a particular activity (BDSM, in this case, but swinging would work too) as part of their lifestyle, and not just a professional fetish provider who goes home to a vanilla life.

By playing, I mean "engaging" and did not mean to make any comparisons to "playas", who aren't looking for relationships.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: question about "scams" vs "tributes"

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.090