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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/19/2009 10:51:56 PM

marysdream

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i dream of the D that can make me cry, not necessarily from the pain, but the place of pure vulnerability he can take me too! alas..this has not happened....but i keep hoping!
ree

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 7:20:51 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ixchel
I was playing with a friend (I am very, very new to this structure) and I believe he was trying to get a reaction out of me but I just clammed up and got terribly nervous.

He quickly mentioned that he was just going to have to do much more to me next time whereas I was pretty close to my current limits.

Tell him that you weren't responding because you were nervous. He needs to know that.

Tell him that you were close to your limit and can't take much more.

Because otherwise the next time will be unpleasant. You don't want to have to end things abruptly because he can't read you at all. He doesn't want things to have to end when he feels he was just getting started. He needs to know that you clam up when you get nervous, when you get close to your limit. Tell him this.

And hopefully he will incorporate some better feedback techniques. Either a clinical, "on a scale of one to ten, how high is this pain?" or "You can take more for me, can't you?" which could get either a big smile, a nervous nod, or no, no, no more.

You need more than trust, you need better communication.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 7:31:54 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ixchel
What is the response you expect from your sub when you spank or otherwise inflict pain?

He expects the HONEST one. If I need to make noise, cry, moan, beg Him to stop, etc., then I do. That doesn't mean it's going to determine what He'll do. If I don't feel the need to do any of those things, I don't make noise just to do it. That's like faking an orgasm and it's lying and He doesn't want that either. The response He ALWAYS wants is the genuine one and whatever I need to do at any given moment................luci

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 11:38:42 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I am bored when the person does not react. Squealing, flailing, whimpered protests... yum! If I wanted stoic silence I'd get a pillow.

I'm not a big fan of protests, I also like a girl who is capable of taking what I'd like to dish out but if she isn't reacting it's not very sexy for me. That doesn't mean I'm looking for a show, fake begging and screaming are a turn off. But sincere screaming, squealing, whimpering, flailing, thrashing, pleading, begging and desperation are all a big turn on.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 1:16:08 PM

ixchel

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Again, amazing insight and thoughtful answers from everyone!
I really appreciate it. I am totally ready for next time and I feel so much better knowing that there are no hard and fast rules about response.

Someone asked if I was getting caught up in rules or looking at this as an academic exercise - I absolutely was. I have played around with these feelings and pain forever but only recently discovered this community and information. I let myself get overwhelmed by it.

My friend and I talked in great detail about our last time together and he said that I couldn't clam up if I tried!
(He said I was shaking, tearing up, biting my lips, and looking at him like I was pleading...)
I wasn't even aware of that!

I think he knows me really well and he said that of course he isn't going to push me farther too fast... he just wanted me to think about the threat for a while. *grin*

I can't believe I am so turned on and so thrilled by so many little things. This is really opening my eyes to a whole new world.

I love it!

Thank you all.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 1:32:29 PM

mc1234

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What a great post! I'm happy for you ... enjoy!

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/20/2009 1:48:35 PM

ThomasMore

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Weeping is beautiful. It's a purging experience. Besides, those tears taste so sweet!

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/21/2009 7:53:25 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThomasMore

Weeping is beautiful. It's a purging experience. Besides, those tears taste so sweet!

Exactly! ~dark smile~

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/21/2009 8:30:38 PM

DavanKael

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As I find it more sexy to hear than to see (Though I'd not like to lose either!), I want some sort of acknowledgment of what's going on.
Davan

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/21/2009 8:51:18 PM

boosire

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It all depends on what I want at the time, both are good. Also depends on why the spanking is being done what if there is a reason to want one reaction or the other. Generally I enjoy the crying, moaning, throaty sounds but if i have purpose for being quiet that can be quite a challange at times as well.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/21/2009 8:57:46 PM

Maya2001

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LOL I can just imagine some of the newbie subs reading this post
and how they will respond/roleplay to their first flogging or cropping...it should be about as impressive as some porn star vocally faking an orgasm ..with them wailing and howling at a 1/4 of their actual tolerance so they will not appear to be a lump to the doms out there.....

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/21/2009 9:11:33 PM

KneelforAnne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

i dream of the D that can make me cry, not necessarily from the pain, but the place of pure vulnerability he can take me too! alas..this has not happened....but i keep hoping!
ree

ree,

Thank you for putting this into words. It's something that I am looking for as well, but never thought to express that way.

Good luck in your search, and OP--- WONDERFUL thread. :)

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/22/2009 12:50:08 AM

Strictyetnice

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Definitly the more reactions, the better!

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/23/2009 3:19:30 PM

surfandsub

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thats hot id want her to whimper2

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/23/2009 7:12:42 PM

groovychick67

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

i dream of the D that can make me cry, not necessarily from the pain, but the place of pure vulnerability he can take me too! alas..this has not happened....but i keep hoping!
ree

Beautiful description...............I wait also.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/23/2009 7:39:40 PM

LovingMistress45

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What I want is an honest reaction whatever it is. Sure sounds, tears, movement are nice. But I have played with a sub that laughs during breast torture and I enjoyed it. I recently played with a new (to me) malesub that made almost no sound or body movements, so periodically I checked - are you ok? am I getting close to your limits? do you want more? If we play again I'll have a better understanding of how he reacts. I just want what is an honest reaction for the person I am doing the scene with.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/23/2009 7:42:23 PM

DefiantFlower

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From my experience, most like reactions. Some get freaked out by tears, but whimpering and gasping and all are usually...um...enjoyed.

On the other end of things, it's much more fun if I can't help but to respond strongly. If I'm NOT squirming or making some kinda noise, I get bored. And disappointed, which I suppose could very well have been the intention.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/25/2009 9:23:37 PM

Danibelle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle121

If He wants me quiet and not moving, he has rope and a gag

I am NOT a fan of the ball gag and that is EXACTLY the threat when I am being "too loud."

Also, sometimes, as in our case, being too loud has nothing to do with his preference- sometimes it has to do with location. Thin walls? 2AM? Sometimes it's about courtesy to our neighbors. Of course, those are generally the nights I wound up getting tied and gagged...

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/26/2009 11:37:18 PM

Cuffkinks

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It depends on the circumstances. Most of the time I have to remind her to be quiet because either we're at her place and her um's are home, or we're at my place and I don't want the neighbors calling the police. I live in a condo so I try to be considerate.
If we're playing in public, then she is usually permitted be loud, but we try not to bother anyone else playing at the same time. Again...consideration.
I do love the reactions. Whether it be crying, moaning, squirming, etc...or watching her try to not react because she's been told to do so. Still a reaction, and still hot to me.

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RE: Quiet or crying? - 3/28/2009 8:45:31 PM

MasterDarkSadist

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Usually, when I am going about inflicting pain, I am trying to get my counterpart to find subspace. However that comes about for her, is ok with me. Some cry, some pass out, etc.

I enjoy giving pain for a multitude of reasons, and the reaction I expect (and get) is different for each occasion.

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Post #: 40