Getting to know you...

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

Okay, I'll admit it... I seem to have an unwanted ability to upset some of the guys I meet on Collarme and Recon. The thing that gets me is that I so rarely know why, and that bothers me a lot more than a lost potential, as I do my best as possible to be nice to people I meet here unless they're openly abusive.

Tonight I lost what I thought was a very promising connection on Collarme. The conversation started fairly benignly about how we'd kept on missing each other on chat, and it was more or less mutually agreed that waiting around for someone to show up by chance was irritating and unreliable. I suggested chatting at a mutually agreed upon time, but he rejected that. Why, I'm not sure, but anyhow... After that, the conversation shifted to how he didn't want to get to know me well, and since we couldn't meet real time for a while ( he lives right across the continent ), he didn't want to get to know me before I visited him. This seemed a bit strange to me, as we're both seeking 24/7. I also confided that I was uncomfortable getting into a M/s situation with someone I didn't know well, even if it was just a month long trial period. At this point he got mad at me and said the conversation should end now. I apolgized and then he said I should go away and think about what he'd said. I did, and then wrote him a short note basically recapping some of my thoughts about getting to know someone before commiting to a relationship. I got a rather unpleasant letter in return and found myself blocked.

Right now I find myself a little baffled. I'd honestly thought I was nice and polite. I'm not sure what bothered him... and the only thing I could place was his focus on not knowing a slave.

I should say this isn't a "one off", though; I've encountered this sentiment before.

So I guess what I'm asking is this: don't you want to know someone you're planning on living a 24/7 relationship of ANY kind with? If not, why? Since I can no longer ask this man in question, I thought I'd bring the question to the doms on here.

This is not a pity plee or anything akin to it, just a genuine probe into an mindset totally foreign to me - and if I'm the weird one, I'd like to know!

Hello westbayslave,

It's far from easy to find someone compatible, even if you think
We're here all to look for someone who looks the same way,
then there is No guarantee what so ever to find it here.

If only life was so simple !

LD, are very difficult, I've had My share of those and swore
I would never go there again, until recently, it all
looked very promising, and there would be a date
set up to meet, and then all offa sudden
they vanish into smoke.

And I'll never know why.

It's too easy to fool around on line, to play with people's feelings,
while you're sincere, and willing, you've to find someone who is the same,
and trustworthy.

Especially when you want 24/7 there has to be allot of time invested
in the two of you, and that has to come from both ways.

If that is a problem to begin with, then there is no future either,
and you've found out. It stinks, but as it's been said before,
rather find it out sooner then later.

It's not easy, maybe an idea is to go in the local scene,
to find someone closer by, then on the other side of the world.

Know you're not alone.

I wish you enough.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`