RE: Sexual or True Submissive?

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RE: Sexual or True Submissive? - 3/22/2009 12:57:26 PM

LadyPact

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By definition, there is a difference between a fetishist and submission. Before I go further, let Me state that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a fetishist, however you don't get to dress up a wolf in sheep's clothing and call it submission. If you were to take that fetish completely away, no dressing up, no humiliation, no release, would submission still lie in you? For that matter, would the Dominant still have control, or are they simply pandering to the fetish in question? If that fetish is all they have as a means of power, all you really have is a kinky partner, who is willing to participate in said fetish with you.

Submission lies in something other than an orgasm for many people. It's not something that comes and goes based upon when a person ejaculates, or what the situation is prior to or expecting such an event. For many, submission isn't some thing that can be derived from semen. It's in the heart. In My opinion, there's no orgasm that compares to that.

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Post #: 41

RE: Sexual or True Submissive? - 3/22/2009 7:13:35 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Besides, getting someone in a situation where they are in a frenzy and not thinking straight, and having them promise in that state is not fair in my book. Asking for it when they are able to think about what they will be doing is a lot more mature, not manipulating them when you know they can't make a clear decision.

I'd be wicked pissed if he got me all hot and bothered and had me promise something that he knew damn well I wouldn't agree to later. And later when I could think about it, I wouldn't think he was being trustworthy. If he wants me to do something that he knows I'm going to have a lot of problems with, I want to discuss it rationally. When I can figure out what's worth it and what isn't and what part I can't deal with, and what I need his help with. Honest and open communication not manipulation. But then, I'm in this for a relationship and not just to get my, or his, rocks off.

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Post #: 42

RE: Sexual or True Submissive? - 3/23/2009 1:53:13 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

There's debate* as to why, but men tend to have a massive change after ejaculating. Anecdotally, I will add that getting off changes my stance on situations. Ideas that were once riveting and sexy are now disgusting, boring, menial, etc. This applies to dominant and submissive driven acts. Hell, I once tinkered with the idea of being made to paint a girl's room while she teased and humiliated me... After finishing, I thought it through and subcontracting to a painter was a better application of my time.

Yes, this is basically what it's like for me too. As a psychological phenomenon, it's really quite amazing. Mistress can tease and torture me to some incredible plateau of arousal - and then, literally the minute she lets me ejaculate, I fall off the plateau and suddenly nothing we're doing feels sexy or even particularly interesting. It's hard to believe that a small amount of fluid leaving my body could possibly have that much effect on my mental state, but it undeniably does. In the aftermath of an orgasm I tend to feel lazy, incredibly clear-headed, a bit silly, and completely asexual.

Under normal circumstances, my submissive feelings towards Mistress have a sexual part and an emotional part, but ejaculating makes the sexual part effectively disappear for a little while. The emotional part is still there, but it's a diffuse, long-term influence that isn't much help if Mistress wants to continue doing things to me or making me do things for her. In the visceral short-term, I have to sort of grin and bear it, forcing myself to obey and endure in a way that is almost never necessary when the sexual motivation is intact. Of course, I'm not complaining - having to cope with situations like that is part of what I signed up for, and feeds into that longer-term emotional satisfaction.

As for the OP being graphic, I thought the detail simply added to the impact of the story - but of course, different people have different sensibilities when it comes to that kind of thing.

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Post #: 43

RE: Sexual or True Submissive? - 3/23/2009 8:33:33 PM

DefiantFlower