don't be surprised reverse question please

don't be surprised reverse question please (Full Version)

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sublace -> don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 6:47:40 AM)
Slaves: do you test your Master on purpose? Plan to act up or manipulate Her or Him? Do they believe you do it on purpose or that you are a jerk? Just thinking because if i myself am bad it's because i get lost and bewildered then lose my grounding and don't act right. Never, ever, ever, ever intentionally would i want to hurt my Owner. bitey and bad sometimes

cantilena -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 6:54:16 AM)
Absolutely never. But then, we've been together a long time, and as the old song goes, "If you don't know me by now..." [:)]

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 6:55:17 AM)
[:)] thank you my Master knows i am a relative newbie. If i think of myself as a pet like a pup or kitten adopted from a shelter i'm learning better self control. Not exactly a but a mental veil i can use to - at least feel i am shielding myself - but really i am more tranparant to Him.

chamberqueen -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:00:03 AM)
I once gave my Master a small test. I wanted to see if he would enjoy sex any less if I stayed silent during it and did not seem to be responding. I could tell a definite difference - he did not enjoy himself as much if I was not also enjoying myself. I wrote to him about it after and explained that it had been a little bit of a test. He commended me for it and said that it was good that I was trying to figure out how best to please him. I was warmed by the thought that he would enjoy himself more if he knew that I also was. Any tests that I gave him were very small but they were specifically so that I could find out more about him and figure out just how much I could trust him. Purposely testing a Master over and over, whether through seeming reluctance to do a task or losing control of your words is playing with fire. While it may be forgiven (perhaps through punishment) it will not be tolerated forever unless it is something that he enjoys. Continual rebellion can destroy the trust that they have in you, as a sub or slave, and instead of him looking forward to seeing you it may start to feel like a burden.

pinkwind -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:06:35 AM)
i have never been given any reason to want to test my Master, his consistency feeds mine. Are you sure your own cations are a direct result of something your Owner is or isn't doing? Could it be that you are just acting up badly, rather than testing?

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:14:55 AM)
thank you pinkwind for asking. OK, He isn't wrong but i get scared of him. i need to remember to feel small and happy. he wouldn't give me the time of day if he didn't want to keep me. He can seem so hard, so powerful, i freeze up too often. Thats not his fault

cantilena -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:16:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen I once gave my Master a small test. I wanted to see if he would enjoy sex any less if I stayed silent during it and did not seem to be responding. I could tell a definite difference - he did not enjoy himself as much if I was not also enjoying myself. I wrote to him about it after and explained that it had been a little bit of a test. He commended me for it and said that it was good that I was trying to figure out how best to please him. I was warmed by the thought that he would enjoy himself more if he knew that I also was. Any tests that I gave him were very small but they were specifically so that I could find out more about him and figure out just how much I could trust him. Purposely testing a Master over and over, whether through seeming reluctance to do a task or losing control of your words is playing with fire. While it may be forgiven (perhaps through punishment) it will not be tolerated forever unless it is something that he enjoys. Continual rebellion can destroy the trust that they have in you, as a sub or slave, and instead of him looking forward to seeing you it may start to feel like a burden. I wouldn't call that manipulative or even really "testing" in the sense sublace seemed to be describing, though. You know? I think in the beginning, doesn't everybody try different things with his or her partner to find out what brings the most pleasure? It's a completely different thing in my mind. Maybe the difference in my mind is in trying finding your partner's pleasure (getting to know somebody), rather than trying to find your partner's displeasure (testing). Gave me something to think about. Thanks!

tazzygirl -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:18:17 AM)
i believe we all test to some degree. i consider it like an um, pushing gently against our boundaries, seeking if those are still firmly in place. a little playful defiance can also leave a man feelinng his more dominant side "rise to the occassion". im my opinion, playful testing can be exciting and enjoyable, especially sexually... on rare occassions. then again, a man who has truly mastered a woman knows exactly what buttons to push to override any resistance resistance is futile! ~viva la Borg!

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:22:59 AM)
Insight, Ty OK He presses on my 'bad' buttons and excellerates. Is that testing?

tazzygirl -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:24:40 AM)
depends. how does it make you feel when he does? i wouldnt say its all that bad, you are still there.

LaTigresse -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:28:23 AM)
I can tell you from the other side of the equasion, if I feel like I am constantly being tested, I am going to get annoyed and do exactly what she doesn't want. I will withdraw and watch her flounder. I want a slave that is an adult woman. Not a child and not a puppy, an adult woman submitting and serving because that is what she wants to do.

littlewonder -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:31:06 AM)
No. I don't have the time or energy to do that. Seems like such a waste of time and immature imo. If I have a problem I tell him. If I want something I tell him and then I let the decision be his from there.

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:33:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl how does it make you feel when he does? feels a stinging painful , i freeze then too often become defensive mindless. punishment doesn't work - Him stepping back and giving me space, no attention hurts more than physical punishment { and he has really kicked my butt, no joke} i begin too doubt it is up to me to behave. be brave enough to approach softly and be patient, pray to stay and trust He is a decent man

tazzygirl -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:37:01 AM)
hi LT thats why i said on rare occassions. it can become tedious, on both sides.

tazzygirl -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 7:47:33 AM)
i dont want to jump to conclusions. you made it sorta sound like you arent sure he is a decent man. how long have you two been together?

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 9:30:19 AM)
8 months but lon distance, tazzygirl. He is decent man - better than that really. He's amazing IMHO. He's been disapointed by women in his life before, so he's a doubter himself. Just have to keep spirits up [:)]

InTonguesslut -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 1:00:07 PM)
quote: Slaves: do you test your Master on purpose? Absolutely not. *quote:* Plan to act up or manipulate Her or Him? Absolutely not. *quote:* Do they believe you do it on purpose or that you are a jerk? You would have to ask Sir that question but i would hope the answer is no.

sublace -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 1:22:36 PM)
All replies are appreciated, thanx. i guess slaves need balance giving up control with retaining self control.

crouchingtigress -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 2:58:10 PM)
At first i think it wise.....but there become a tipping point where it becomes foolish.... Hopefully you will have a good barometer or good freinds that will let you know when that is.

Prinsexx -> RE: don't be surprised reverse question please (3/22/2009 5:15:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkwind i have never been given any reason to want to test my Master, his consistency feeds mine. Are you sure your own cations are a direct result of something your Owner is or isn't doing? Could it be that you are just acting up badly, rather than testing? I agree. I don't, never have and never will, consciously test anyone. (But then how would I know if I were doing it subconsciously?... just HAD to throw that little caveat in for good measure). I have behaved irresponsibly though. What I mean by that is that I have behaved with no thought for the consequences. I have striven with every fibre of my being to be as responsible as possible over the years. I fall and often blame the other. That is the main fault I have. However: again I am aware I do it. Like a bad habit. But I do NOT test dominants. However I cannot be responsible for another person reacting and feeling I am testing them. Whenever that has happened I see it as a form of insecurity within the dominant. And I'm off. Insecurity in the one who has stated they are my Master leaves me feeling as if I am hangig from a sinely shredded rope instead of being manacled.

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