pinnipedster
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Joined: 4/17/2008
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One concept I've had as a component of a D/s relationship is the role of the Dominant as enforcing goals and standards on the submissive -- both the Dominant's own goals, and perhaps some of those of the sub.
For example: I know many have a problem with the notion of forced feminization. As a sometimes-crossdresser, it is certainly true that no one has to use force to get me to dress up. On the other hand, I admit that I don't always do so as often or as well as I would like, out of a combination of circumstances, laziness, and fear.
Something that would appeal to me would be to have a Dominant woman who required me to crossdress on certain occasions, and to maintain proper standards of appearance and behavior when doing so. She would push me to overcome some of my current limitations and apprehension about doing so. This is not to say that she could not derive some benefit herself form it -- for instance, part of the process might be a requirement that when in femme mode, I will be doing far more than my share of the housework, and perhaps being held to a higher quality standard in that area. She might also require me to maintain certain attitudes that don't come entirely naturally to me.
Now, I realize that to many this would sound like topping from the bottom. Again I would say that I would expect it to be only one component of the over-all D/s realtionship -- frankly, I would be wary of a relationship that seemed to be based only around my own needs, wonderful though it might seem in the short term. :) It would make me feel rather insecure. On the other hand, I have to admit that I would not stay in a D/s relationship where none of my own needs or fantasies were ever addressed. The hope is to find someone where our respective needs and desires overlap enough to keep us both happy, but one doubts a perfect fit is likely to be found -- I would expect each of us would be catering to the other to some extent (and hopefully coming to enjoy it).
Obviously, the situation could apply to areas far removed from such things as feminization. I could imagine a Dominant enforcing a more healthy diet and exercise regieme on the sub, at the sub's request -- it's hardly uncommon for people to find it all too easy to skip the workout or cheat on the diet. Some Dominants, of course, might instigate such a program themselves, but in many cases I can imagine a sub (female subs in particular) wanting to lose weight even though their Dominant may be perfectly satisfied with the sub's body as it is.
I'm just curious how others, Dominant Women in particular, react to this kind of a suggestion. I would expect some would frown upon it, as it is a case of catering to the needs/wants of the sub rather than the other way around. On the other hand, I've found many Dominants seem to be more interested in the power dynamic itself than what it is used for, so they might well find ways to use that kind of situation to their liking; or they might at least be willing to accept it as part of their role in exchange for the sevice and loyalty they recieve.
Thoughts?
< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 3/22/2009 11:11:16 PM >
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The Enforcer - 
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Try speaking for yourself, when I subbed as a sub, I did things I really didn't WANT and that was what I was most proud of. As subs, we don't submit to our own will, we submit to the other person's will. Submission isn't about doing what we want, submission is about giving over power to the dom, [-yes-] even in situations we don't want. God forbid a sub has to do something she doesn't want to do. God forbid we actually sacrifice. 
Women who want to victimize their partners, on the other hand, tend to seek more disposable relationships and have no real need or desire to "build up" their submissives--if anything, that could be a turn-off. The fantasy is that she is harming, not helping. .gif){kind=avatar}
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