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RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 4:38:00 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

inkywet, bipolar is a mood disorder. A MOOD disorder. You know, sometimes too happy, sometimes too sad.

Most people rarely ever experience a symptom.

Except of course for mixed states who don't ever hit mania or even hypomania. And for ultrahigh cyclings who alternate rage and suicidal depression every five minutes.

And you claim to be the know all on this? Oh vey. Thank God there's a lot of real psychiatrists in my area with experience in pediatric and adolescent onset.

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Post #: 41

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 5:51:35 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: That was back dec. I hadnt thought about that in a while until i posted here. He is now in lock down because he went to jail for criminal nonsupport. He claims it wasnt his fault because since he moved around alot he didnt get the papers. Now, that he lives with his parents he is forced to take his pills.

I guess i am just hoping now that he is taking his pills and under supervision he will change. I know stupid of me. But, like i said i am young and navie, i dont want sympathy. I want the brutal honesty that you have been giving me. Sympathy will just make me stay.

He moved around and didn't get the papers....so that meant he forgot he owed the support? Or maybe he forgot who he owed it to? Sorry but I have no sympathy for deadbeat dads. The more you tell me about him, the more I think you should just move on. But then again you already know that, don't you?

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 42

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 6:05:49 AM

stella41b

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From: SW London (UK)
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I thought I'd read it all on these message boards after being here roughly two years but this thread proves me wrong.

Is my potential Master safe? Why? Because he's in jail on lockdown and been living a transient lifestyle?

No. Because he has bipolar.

Please accept my apologies, but apart from sharing my observation here I have nothing constructive or meaningful to add to this thread and bow out.

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(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 43

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 6:38:39 AM

beargonewild

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Do you think it would be safe to have a bipolar master? Mostly we will be doing a lot of stuff that will involve being tied up.

Do you believe that you will trust and feel safe engaging in kink activities with him?
Do you believe that you can cope and deal with a master who's bipolar and accept him for who he is, illness and all? Do you feel you can be the person he needs you to be when he runs into rough spots with his cycling moods? When you have honestly answered these within yourself, you will then know if he's the right one for you and he is safe for you.

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 44

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 6:40:55 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. He is finally ready to realize he has a problem. So, since Jan. he has been taking his medication regularly. Before he would just take his medication when he felt an episode was comming. Currently, he doesnt go to counseling nor does he want too just does your regular doctor visits to check how his medication is working.

He says since he is a very passive guy this is the only place he can feel in control. Also, he made mention that he can be very sadistic. Though, we really didnt go much into detail there. Just the teasing of "you'll see." We have a lovely dovely relationship and he wants to incorporate a master slave relationship as well.

Also, he has had a hardcore master/slave relation with a girl who was also just as into it who loved pain, being slapped and such. She was a live in slave and he would broadcast on the web and make money off what they would do. Yeah, we are not going to go that far.

Do you think it would be safe to have a bipolar master? Mostly we will be doing a lot of stuff that will involve being tied up.

Edit: We haven't done anything bdsm type yet, we have just talked about it.

Edit: Also, the girl who he had a bdsm relation with. He just used her. He didnt love her or want anything else from her. Again, that is what he said.

Just a response to this OP... until he is ready to do everything in his power to control himself and his health problems, I personally would not consider him ready to take the reins in a BDSM relationship.

Part of being the top or the dom or the master is being on that road to master yourself, a lifetime journey that you must be willing and ready to seriously pursue.

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 45

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 10:40:48 PM

asianchloe

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Joined: 2/25/2009
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You misunderstood. It wasn't the EX but the man himself who said he just used her (for profit, no less) and didn't care about her. It wasn't the scorned woman telling lies; it was the doer himself admitting his exploitative (as described here), unloving relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanityfull

i have met pretty safe normal bipolar people, i dont think it would be a major problem for someone able to deal with the troubles that come with being bipolar, if you havnt tried anything bdsm related together i sugest taking it slow, dont trust anyones ex's as complete truth but take heed of what they say.

(in reply to Vanityfull)

Post #: 46

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 10:50:02 PM

asianchloe

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Joined: 2/25/2009
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Not a lot of women are that self-aware and honest to strangers. A lot of the posters here assume many things (You want a "normal", "healthy", "balanced" relationship or you're too blind to see the truth. Bah.) when you yourself know why you stay even though he's "fucked you over numerous times". Obviously you're not an idiot. If you wanted it to be different, it would be different.

So we don't need the incredulous, patronizing, "oh you're planning on getting married to a guy who's fucked you over?" Yes, she is, and she just stated the reason why, which anyone with some half-decent reasoning skills could have figured out. (Why are you eating chocolate ice cream? What, it's because you like it? That doesn't make sense at all!)

quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I dont like sympathy. I like abuse. Which is why i stay with him. But... emotional abuse, not too much into the physical which is what he loves.

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 47

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/25/2009 10:52:35 PM

asianchloe

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2009
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Let's not pick on people. We can just as easily say that sex workers (that includes pro-dommes like yourself) need therapy, too! And just because someone may need therapy doesn't mean they aren't qualified to make those same observations about others, especially those close in their personal lives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I dont like sympathy. I like abuse. Which is why i stay with him. But... emotional abuse, not too much into the physical which is what he loves.

Anddddd he's the one you think needs therapy?

At the very least, it does not sound like the two of you are compatible.

Come on- you said in another thread he's hunting for girls on Craigslist without your knowledge. How well exactly do you expect this marriage to go over?

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 48

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/26/2009 5:36:03 AM

MissJanice2

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

Sure it is ok to have a bipolar Master. Depending upon the dynamics of your relationship, you could possibly help manage his mood levels.
I have been a Mistress for five years, and I am bipolar 2. You mentioned counseling. When you have to pay out a tremendous amount of money for medication and treatment of this disease, you get to the point to where you want to cut back as much as you can. Being bipolar cost my family and myself nearly $6,000 last year in basic treatment and medication.
The feeling that everything is fine is a clue that it is not. This is usually when I swing.
Another thing, I may be bipolar, but I am not sadistic. I believe that is something you need to set boundaries with your master.
I hope it works out.
Oh, my slave will let me know in a nice way when my moods are not stable. Work will let me know as well. I have bipolar watchdogs around.

Best Wishes,

MJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. He is finally ready to realize he has a problem. So, since Jan. he has been taking his medication regularly. Before he would just take his medication when he felt an episode was comming. Currently, he doesnt go to counseling nor does he want too just does your regular doctor visits to check how his medication is working.

He says since he is a very passive guy this is the only place he can feel in control. Also, he made mention that he can be very sadistic. Though, we really didnt go much into detail there. Just the teasing of "you'll see." We have a lovely dovely relationship and he wants to incorporate a master slave relationship as well.

Also, he has had a hardcore master/slave relation with a girl who was also just as into it who loved pain, being slapped and such. She was a live in slave and he would broadcast on the web and make money off what they would do. Yeah, we are not going to go that far.

Do you think it would be safe to have a bipolar master? Mostly we will be doing a lot of stuff that will involve being tied up.

Edit: We haven't done anything bdsm type yet, we have just talked about it.

Edit: Also, the girl who he had a bdsm relation with. He just used her. He didnt love her or want anything else from her. Again, that is what he said.

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 49

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 3/26/2009 6:05:23 AM

JasminDevil

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

In my opinion, being bi-polar is the least of this guy's problems! Should you trust him? No- and you already don't. I say get *yourself* to therapy, and fast. Best of luck to you.

(in reply to MissJanice2)

Post #: 50

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 7:45:40 AM

torkinkycouple

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/13/2009
Status: offline

Is a Bipolar master safe? It depends on the individual. Newsflash: people with the same disorder are not all exactly the same

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 51

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 9:40:56 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet
Currently, he doesnt go to counseling nor does he want too just does your regular doctor visits to check how his medication is working.

My biggest pet peeve. Would he go to a psychiatrist if he had a heart attack and needed treatment? Why go to a regular doctor (by that I think you mean General Practitioner) to treat a mental disorder? Why not go to someone who actually specializes in treating that type of illness? How does he know he has bi-polar then?

Whether it is safe or not depends on how well he is managing his illness. He doesn't see someone who specializes in mental disorders. He doesn't see a therapist to help him manage his emotions and behaviors and only relys on medicine. He is only just ready to realize he has a problem. He will not give full disclosure that you can make an informed decision about submitting to him.

How much do you know of bi-polar and some of the extremes that people who suffer from this disorder experience?

A person in his stage of dealing with his illness is not someone that I would trust enough to give complete authority over my life to them. Whether you are willing to take that leap of faith is for your to decide.

Knight's Kyra

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 52

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 10:58:02 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: inkywet

Lynnxz: I want to date him. In fact, we are planning marriage. I dont have a problem with his bipolar in general. I just dont know if it is safe to be tied up by him

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

Well, this says it all for me.

So, because you "love him", it's okay if he "fucks you over" for the rest of your life, but you're worried about him tying you up. I just......don't know what to say after that.

edited to say......

Okay, I didn't read the whole thread before I wrote the above. I'm just going to go buy Stella a drink

< Message edited by windchymes -- 5/2/2009 11:01:15 AM >

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 53

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 12:29:34 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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As somebody else posted, there are some pretty safe bi-bolar people. Please keep in mind bi-polar is a somewhat general. It does not denote anything about a persons morals or character.

As somebody else has pointed out hypersexuality is considered one of the symptoms of it. There are probally many people into the lifestyle who don't realize that they are/would/could be classified as being Bi-polar.

One Cavet, Bi-Polar disorder is perhaps one of the most over used dianogosis as well. Too many people are accepting of what one Dr. says they got.

The mental health field is a bit tricky, because you can't determine what somebody has using an X-ray, Blood testing or other similar methods.

I do believe that our society has a big thing for legalized drug dealing now days.

Some things such as Cognative Behavioral Therapy work.

Here's the deal though, it's best to address the actual issues/problems in the relationship or the persons actually issues/problem compared to trying to treat them as being Bi-Polar.

For instance is hypersexuality a problem or not? Is it a gift or a curse. lol.. There are two ways to look at things.

There are some reallly wonderul people who have been classified as being Bi-Polar and there are some assholes that are Bi-Polar as well.

Just because somebody is bi-polar does not make them dangerous and it does not however suggest they are safe.

You need to look at him as whole person without the stigma of being Bi-Polar.

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 54

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 3:08:20 PM

roughleather

Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
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quote:

Also, not going to lie, he has fucked me over a lot of times, but i keep coming back to him. So, for that its my fault... but i do love him.

OK. Bad marriage prospect. And you know it. You need professional help from someone who handles co-dependency problems.

There's an incredible kick to having a wild bipolar sex partner. The risk is part of the turn on. But marriage? A living hell.

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 55

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 3:27:02 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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It's up to each one of us as individuals to;

1. figure out what we will or will not put up with and deal with.
2. figure out if we can or can not handle or deal with something.
3. attempt to figure out what we can or can not deal with.

This is a bit of a two way street. After all two people in a relationship could both be bi-polar and/or Codependent. Does it really matter to anybody else outside of the relationship anyways?

What's the harm in understanding and dealing with a bi-polar partner, if you know what you are dealing with and have read up about how to personally cope with a bi-polar loved one?

In short, if you work on your own coping and understanding skills in being involved with a Bi-polar partner, and there's good communication and understanding between two people.

It's sort of Damning to the quality of human life to cast a stigma so great. Basically you might as well be TELLING Bi-Polar people to Stay alone, and be alone the rest of their lives. That they are not good for any relationships period.

Some relationships can be a very good healing process for somebody who is Bi-Polar, however you have to understand in part the nature of why many people are bi-polar or have some issues to begin with.

Clearly a meaningful relationship can ease the feeling of depression and being alone and feeling worthless. Hell, even owning a pet helps brings joy into a persons life.

I think it's rather Bullshit to hold an attitude that somebody that's Bi-Polar, should be doomed to be alone for the rest of their life. That people can't live productive lives or have a rewarding relationship.

Even people that are Co-Dependent in nature. If your partner is (some label) read up on how to better develop your own coping skills and raise your own awareness.

Some people don't want to put forth the energy or work in learning coping skills in how to deal with their partners issue or behaviors or problems.

It's a two way street in any relationship. Adjustments can be made on both sides of the coin.

It's up to us as people to figure out what we can or can not deal with, make adjustments and find understanding.

The Alertnative is to start simply branding people with Bi-polar or other disorders as being unfit for relationships and their fate sealed to a life of being alone. I think that attitude and stigma sort of fucking sucks.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 56

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 4:14:04 PM

sweetsub1957

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Joined: 4/28/2009
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~Fast Reply~
inkywet,
Bipolar in itself is not a terrible thing. i'm bipolar and i freely admit it, and bipolar people can be fine if W/we stay on our meds the way W/we are supposed to.....but again that is an inividual thing. They have to be the right meds in the right doses and be taken according to orders. Like BeIgnited said, the biggest problem with bipolar people is getting them to stay on their meds. If they do, they can be fine. But there are a lot of red flags:
(1) He doesn't stay on His meds.
(2) He doesn't get counseling.
(3) A "regular doctor" is not qualified to monitor how psych meds are working
like a psychiatrist is, which He is not seeing.
(4) He said He can be sadistic....are you into that?
(5) He used the other girl. Do you want to be used too?
(6) You say He has fucked you over a lot before. Why do you stay? Do you LIKE
being fucked over?
That's my two cents worth.

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(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 57

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/2/2009 4:26:30 PM

marie2

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From: Jersey
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I wouldn't be as concerned about the bipolar (as least he takes the meds) as I would be about saying he has fucked you over, and how he used that last girl and put their stuff on the internet to make money.. I'd see red flags flashing all over the place with this dude.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 58

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/3/2009 1:06:16 AM

sershon

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/30/2009
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Lamictal + Klonopin + Trilafon

no therapy required.

(in reply to inkywet)

Post #: 59

RE: Bipolar master is it safe? - 5/3/2009 4:32:50 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

OK. Bad marriage prospect. And you know it. You need professional help from someone who handles co-dependency problems.

There's an incredible kick to having a wild bipolar sex partner. The risk is part of the turn on. But marriage? A living hell.

IMHO this posting addresses all of the pertinent issues in an objective way - couldn't have said it any better...

(in reply to roughleather)

Post #: 60

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