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Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/25/2006 10:48:34 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Hello there.

Was just wandering what types of Rewards
Do You as Masters, Mistresses, and Switches
give to Your Subs/Slaves
for good Behavior?

I actually got a chance to choose.

"If the Dom has left the room, it doesn't mean the
quote:

PAIN
has stopped."

Sincerely, Ant

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/25/2006 11:19:21 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Hm... It's always been so dependent on the relationship/partner... Let's see! In general I tend to be mostly a closeness rewarder. Example: Having them curl up by my feet, watch a show we both like while I pet their head and touch their face. Little gentlenesses like that.

Buying a special item for them or wearing something I know they love...

Mostly I'm one to just give extra warmth or softness towards them, soft warm tones, smiles, gentle hands, praising words. Anything more specific is situation based, as I said, working with what I know about them.

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/25/2006 11:39:47 PM

DaddyTime

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

Our house boy is a masochist--thus, when he's extra good, he gets extra pain! This is great, cause we both get what we want: to simply play!

And yes, little plus things--going to a play party dressed in girls clothes, extra bondage, larger plugs. All the things that make him smile so sweetly.

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/25/2006 11:42:53 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I find various things work for various situations. Usually a warm hug or a soft kiss and caress work very well. Sometimes, when she has done something really exceptional I will take her out for a weekend road trip. Different hotel each night and different scenerio to go with it. She loves that.

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 12:09:39 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

ok ok ok

i know i know

i aint part of your lil world....
i am merely service only....

but ya know?

this has been hashed out over and over too.

r e w a r d s ???

i seek NO direct rewards for anything...
i serve, in service, just to BE...in service.
i am not part of your play type boys
or a sex slave

there is none of that, in MY corner of the world.

i have not gotten nor have i asked for...anything from any body...directly due to behavior or services given...nor will i ever.
to ME?

it cheapens the service if i expected anything..
to ME it is going-in with your hands out...

and"I" will not/ can not/ would not/ allow that in MY world.

but the rest of you i guess seem to feel to it is okay to do so?

i have never--------understood it.

ya'all take care anyway. enjoy yourselves. i'm not taking the candy out of your hot lil hands..

i just fail to grasp it is all.

well it's 2 am and i am tired.

maybe tomorrow will bring snow so the ski doos can come out to play...Her vanilla hubby loves winter.

g night irene g night irene....oh i am so tired...

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 12:14:14 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Was just wandering what types of Rewards
Do You as Masters, Mistresses, and Switches
give to Your Subs/Slaves
for good Behavior?

I admit that I'm a bit confused. I do what I do because it's what I'm supposed to do. I don't get rewarded for it, nor would I want to be. My behavior is good because that's what is expected for one in my place from Himself. ::shrugs::

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 12:47:26 AM

RubberWitch

Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline

I occasionally give my subs little gifts, or extra attention, but this is obviously down to my whim, which may be informed by excedingly good behavior. If it was ever expected, if the lavishing of reward was ever treated by them as a duty, what they recieve won't be that desirable

J

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 2:58:56 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

i get to use my vibrator, or go to the club and get a session from him, as i like pain so its a reward.

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 3:22:17 AM

floorkitten

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline

Along with a few others on here - "rewards" are not part of our defined relationship. I am his slave, my motivation comes from the committment I made to myself - and to the committment I made to him when I accepted his collar.

That is not to say that special occurances do not happen on occasion - but they have nothing to do with rewards. They are simply - because he chooses. He needs no reason to do or not to do.

~kitten

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 3:59:25 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Hello there.

Was just wandering what types of Rewards
Do You as Masters, Mistresses, and Switches
give to Your Subs/Slaves
for good Behavior?

I actually got a chance to choose.

"If the Dom has left the room, it doesn't mean the
quote:

PAIN
has stopped."

Sincerely, Ant

I don't really believe in rewards. Which doesn't make much sense from a behavioral point of view, since I believe in punishment...oh yes indeed, I do. I think that rewards are built into the relationship. My boy acts as he does out of devotion and submission; that is fuel for the relationship, the relationship is its own reward.
Smythe

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Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 4:18:03 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

As a Dom I read the replies of the subs carefully and have to admit they have something there when they deny wanting rewards. Subs don't expect actual physical rewards and giving them the pain of a scene is something done anyway usually, so what is left?

Contact, intimate time spent quietly with the slave where she knows you care about her. Taking her somewhere and letting her come naturally under your arm as you walk. A quiet restaurant where she glows being with you. Things like that are heartfelt rewards from the Dom and ones the sub appreciates.

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For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Smythe)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 4:37:51 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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The reward for good behaviour....not being punished is what i assumed the expected reward was.

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 5:29:43 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

The reward for good behaviour....not being punished is what i assumed the expected reward was.

Arpig, I think you would have to define what you mean by punishment. If the relationship is structured on pain and punishment then withdrawing the pain could be punishment. So the reward would be to continue giving the pain as always which is not really a reward in my opinion.

I see the OP question as asking what is a concrete reward as an added feature to the ongoing dynamics of the D/s, pain giving relationship.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to Arpig)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 5:41:02 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
Was just wandering what types of Rewards
Do You as Masters, Mistresses, and Switches
give to Your Subs/Slaves
for good Behavior?

More kisses

Choice of movie or dinner

Choice of type of scene

An extra something they want (a dessert, or time online, anything they would find enjoyable)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 6:00:19 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I believe in positive reinforcement so will treat good behaviour with smiles, affection and praise tho' I don't necessarily see this as rewarding them as it is part of the relationship.

Whilst it can be said that a sub should behave well there are times when a sub may achieve something that was difficult for them to do, this I would reward with praise and possible some play that I know they especially like.

Oumae

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Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 7:01:08 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Rewards

The mark of adulthood is rewarding oneself. Pain, hardship, and depressive lows all merit compensating indulgences. In the winter this includes heated baked goods (muffins) troughed in butter, hot cocoa, chocolate sundaes, buying new music, crab cake dinners, and ordering pizza instead of making dinner. (I guess I'm a food slut.)

In the summer time rewards include cold beer, rainer cherries, blueberries, soft ice cream (swirl), beach getaways, tennis lessons, and other such stuff.

Good subs usually are excellent communicators, empathetic, and considerate --- so rewards come when we think of ourselves first.

Domme's who are in exploitive relationships with us better conjur up some rewards, however, because after some time, we'll bolt. Oh, and in case you were wondering, giving YOU a foot rub and taking out YOUR trash cans out are NOT rewards.

(in reply to knees2you)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 7:07:49 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

As a Dom I read the replies of the subs carefully and have to admit they have something there when they deny wanting rewards. Subs don't expect actual physical rewards and giving them the pain of a scene is something done anyway usually, so what is left?

Contact, intimate time spent quietly with the slave where she knows you care about her. Taking her somewhere and letting her come naturally under your arm as you walk. A quiet restaurant where she glows being with you. Things like that are heartfelt rewards from the Dom and ones the sub appreciates.

ExistentialSteel said it all right there.

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 7:55:40 AM

SweetEscravo

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

In my relationship it isn't so much "you have done something right, so I will reward you...starting now!" Instead, I will do something that makes him happy, and because he is pleased with me, he WANTS to take me in his arms or kiss me or do something kind back to me. It isn't some strict set up of if I do nice thing A, then he will counter with reward B. I don't think many relationships could work well with that. Rather, any relationship, kinky or vanilla, depends on two loving people who want to make each other happy, just for the sake of making that person happy. It isn't limited to rewards; it's just what makes a relationship worth it.

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RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. - 1/26/2006 9:31:15 AM

MHOO314